Satire

Satire: Trump Administration Declares It Summer

The following piece is satire and should not be misconstrued as actual reporting. Any resemblance to a student, staff or faculty member is coincidental. WASHINGTON - After several heated confrontations with members of the press in the Oval Office today, President Trump pivoted away from a discussion ...

Satire: Decolonize everything except tuition

The following piece is satire and should not be misconstrued as actual reporting. Any resemblance to a student, staff or faculty member is fictional. The word “decolonize” is everywhere at American University: on syllabi, flyers, tote bags and PowerPoints. We’ve decolonized our language, learning, ...

Satire: Local student awarded environmental prize for only dating girls on his floor.

The following piece is satire and should not be misconstrued as actual reporting. Any resemblance to a student, staff or faculty member is coincidental. American University is proud to report that freshman Isaiah Sternberg has been awarded the highly prestigious Goldman Environmental Prize for his pledge ...

Satire: Newest AU professor exposed as two students in a trenchcoat

The following piece is satire and should not be misconstrued as actual reporting. Any resemblance to a student, staff or faculty member is coincidental. Outrage erupted on campus yesterday as students were shocked to learn that the beloved first-year government professor, Toukid Intrench, is not who ...

Satire: For your consideration: Donald J. Trump (President of Peace)

Hollywood has given Oscars to method actors, comeback stories and men who whisper into microphones for three hours. Considering how easy it was for them, is it really such a big deal if we give Trump the Nobel Peace Prize? And who better to receive this towering honor than President Donald J. Trump: ...

Satire: Top 6 reasons to graduate early

Everyone is doing it, after all.

Satire: ‘Poop Wicked 2’

For poop

Satire: Which Seagle writer are you?

Satire: Failed AUSG candidate incites insurrection in TDR

Stop the steal! Hundreds of CAS votes were switched by Qualtrics

Satire: Top 15 mayoral candidates Democrats wish had been chosen over Zohran Mamdani

We got some real big stinkers

Satire: How to spread terrorist misogynistic propaganda: A travel influencer’s guide to Afghanistan (and other logical fallacies)

Featuring ad hominem, straw man, red herring, slippery slope and more!

Satire: American University to install spotted lanternfly memorial

‘They had wives and children’

Satire: The parable of Jesús and the 12 residents

Also available in stone tablet form!

Satire: The hottest new job opportunities for American University students

An (un)official list to help discover some hidden gem opportunities in DC!

Satire: Satire writer censored after told writing ‘isn’t funny’ and is ‘really bad’

First Colbert, then Kimmel, now sophomore satire columnist Eric Steinberg! When will it end?

Satire: My roommate turned half of our dorm room into a psychiatrist’s office

Featuring therapy couches, co-pays and passive-aggressive affirmations

Satire: 36 National Guard members successfully detain rogue jaywalker

Bringing peace to Tenleytown, one of the most crime-ridden areas in the world.