Satire

Opinion

Satire: American University to install spotted lanternfly memorial

By Teddi Papish | October 31

‘They had wives and children’

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Opinion

Satire: The parable of Jesús and the 12 residents

By Domenic DiPietro | October 21

Also available in stone tablet form!

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Opinion

Satire: The hottest new job opportunities for American University students

By Domenic DiPietro | October 20

An (un)official list to help discover some hidden gem opportunities in DC!

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Opinion

Satire: Satire writer censored after told writing ‘isn’t funny’ and is ‘really bad’

By Eric Steinberg | October 20

First Colbert, then Kimmel, now sophomore satire columnist Eric Steinberg! When will it end?

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Opinion

Satire: My roommate turned half of our dorm room into a psychiatrist’s office

By Faiza Mujahid | October 13

Featuring therapy couches, co-pays and passive-aggressive affirmations

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Opinion

Satire: 36 National Guard members successfully detain rogue jaywalker

By Eric Steinberg | September 30

Bringing peace to Tenleytown, one of the most crime-ridden areas in the world.

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Opinion

Lazy TikTok tradwives vs. feminists: A bedrotting girlboss investigates

By Faiza Mujahid | September 12

Is this my villain origin story… or my hot girl redemption arc?

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Opinion

Satire: New blockbuster hailed as eleventh most important movie of the season

By Eric Steinberg | September 2

The perfect date movie for people who like to talk through movies

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Opinion

Satire: AU Students still can’t believe Trump hasn’t found out about them yet

By Eric Steinberg | August 29

‘Has he seen how gay and Jewish we are?’

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Opinion

Satire: The syllabus files

By Domenic DiPietro | August 25

One student’s quest to solve the mystery of orientation

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Opinion

Satire: Inside the mind of the median voter

By Jack Leary | August 21

‘Were you guys joking?’ asks Seagle in new poll

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Opinion

The night of the living hillterns

By Jack Leary | August 20

They keep coming back in a bloodthirsty lust for… bragging rights!

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Opinion

Satire: JASMINE BEGS: How do I beat this damned heat?

By The Seagle Staff | August 19

Seriously, guys, I’m melting.

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Opinion

Satire: How to be ethical-ish: A Western journalist’s guide to reporting on genocide (but gently)

By Faiza Mujahid | May 5

Passive voice 101 — especially when it comes to Palestinians

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Opinion

Satire: Guide to major free agency

By Domenic DiPietro | April 28

All the latest news and rumors for the Academic League, which is not a real thing

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News

Satire: Freshmen send warning shots by executing fire alarm prankster publicly

By Jack Leary | April 10

Tired of midnight evacuations, residents take matters into their own hands

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Opinion

Satire: Local satirist regrets poop article

By Jasmine Shi | April 7

Why can’t we have nice things?

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