Jasmine Shi

Satire

Satire: How to ruin your parents’ marriage (if it isn’t already broken)

By Jasmine Shi | 04/19/2023

Strategies and benefits to take monetary advantage over the suffering of others

Satire

Satire: American University introduces new ‘Eagle Light’ service

By Jasmine Shi | 03/27/2023

Giant Eagles will begin replacing campus police when an alarm in the ‘Blue Light’ station sounds

Satire

Satire: Fairy population of TDR dying due to fewer people ‘believing in what they eat’

By Jasmine Shi | 02/01/2023

Decal message fails to persuade mortal diners into trusting quality of food

Satire

Satire: Sentient toys left behind in students’ childhood bedrooms conduct exodus to American University in hopes of reuniting with their owners

By Jasmine Shi | 01/23/2023

The story of how an abandoned toy sparked a revolution for all

Satire

Satire: Hustling without being troubling: trendy ways to pay for college

By Jasmine Shi | 01/20/2023

An advice column on strategies to earn money during college