Satire

Opinion

Satire: JASMINE BEGS: Can we not talk about the political and economic state of the world right now?

By The Seagle Staff | March 7

I feel like I’m not asking for much. Everybody should stop being dramatic.

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Opinion

Satire: Oh no! Your bad icebreaker question actually came true!

By The Seagle Staff | February 5

Be careful what you (poorly) wish for!

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Opinion

Satire: American University commits itself to free speech as long as it’s good for PR

By Jack Leary | February 4

New email vows to protect administration-sanctioned uses of free speech

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Opinion

Satire: Top new classes for next semester

By Eric Steinberg | February 3

Here’s the 411 on your 101s

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Opinion

Satire: My foolproof plan to get out of class for Jewish holidays

By Eric Steinberg | January 27

It’ll take some real chutzpah to pull off

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Opinion

Satire: PETITION: Let the Seagle be Secretary of the Press

By The Seagle Staff | January 15

An impassioned plea to our future supreme leader and king Donald Jonald Trump

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Opinion

Satire: American University students and abstinence

By India Siecke | December 13

An honest conversation about sex and Gen Z

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Opinion

Satire: Jasmine Begs

By The Seagle Staff | December 13

The Seagle’s inaugural advice column

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Opinion

Satire: AU was so down bad for you (to vote)

By Eric Steinberg | December 12

AU saved democracy, one CLEG major voter at a time

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Opinion

Satire: American University to announce new school of arts

By Aidan Dowell | December 11

New college in the works to drum up interest for prospective eagles

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Opinion

Satire: The Seagle’s horoscope predictions

By The Seagle Staff | December 6

This is science and also fact

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Opinion

Satire: Top 12 things we miss about living in New Jersey

By The Seagle Staff | November 21

We’re not not gonna put the swamp monster

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Opinion

Satire: Uh oh! You just realized that your mom’s a person!

By Jasmine Shi | October 17

Guys I’m not a sociopath

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Opinion

Satire: American University’s Student Government celebrates the election of their 4,000th member

By Jack Leary | October 11

SG hopes expanded bureaucracy might finally allow them to make meaningful change

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Opinion

SATIRE: Help! I met your mom during move-in and now I can’t stop thinking about her!

By Jasmine Shi | August 20

Dare I say MILF? Whatevs. You’re gonna need a dictionary.

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Opinion

Satire: Most Embarrassing TDR Foods

By The Seagle Staff | June 6

Nothing like eating a warm meat in front of your peers

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Opinion

Satire: Alabama-native sorority prospective expresses discontent with AU Panhellenic

By Allie Grande | May 2

DEI = Don’t Even Initiate

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