Satire

Opinion

Satire: The syllabus files

By Domenic DiPietro | August 25

One student’s quest to solve the mystery of orientation

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Opinion

Satire: Inside the mind of the median voter

By Jack Leary | August 21

‘Were you guys joking?’ asks Seagle in new poll

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Opinion

The night of the living hillterns

By Jack Leary | August 20

They keep coming back in a bloodthirsty lust for… bragging rights!

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Opinion

Satire: JASMINE BEGS: How do I beat this damned heat?

By The Seagle Staff | August 19

Seriously, guys, I’m melting.

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Opinion

Satire: How to be ethical-ish: A Western journalist’s guide to reporting on genocide (but gently)

By Faiza Mujahid | May 5

Passive voice 101 — especially when it comes to Palestinians

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Opinion

Satire: Guide to major free agency

By Domenic DiPietro | April 28

All the latest news and rumors for the Academic League, which is not a real thing

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News

Satire: Freshmen send warning shots by executing fire alarm prankster publicly

By Jack Leary | April 10

Tired of midnight evacuations, residents take matters into their own hands

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Opinion

Satire: Local satirist regrets poop article

By Jasmine Shi | April 7

Why can’t we have nice things?

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Opinion

Satire: How American University can regain supremacy in collegiate athletics

By Eric Steinberg | April 7

One word: bull-riding

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Opinion

Satire: Fashion Emergency! Another man just got a black tank top!

By Jasmine Shi | April 1

AND this floozy is wearing it in public!

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Opinion

Satire: The case for corporate loyalty

By Domenic DiPietro | March 28

Brought to you by the Eagle

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Opinion

Satire: JASMINE BEGS: Can we not talk about the political and economic state of the world right now?

By The Seagle Staff | March 7

I feel like I’m not asking for much. Everybody should stop being dramatic.

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Opinion

Satire: Oh no! Your bad icebreaker question actually came true!

By The Seagle Staff | February 5

Be careful what you (poorly) wish for!

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Opinion

Satire: American University commits itself to free speech as long as it’s good for PR

By Jack Leary | February 4

New email vows to protect administration-sanctioned uses of free speech

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Opinion

Satire: Top new classes for next semester

By Eric Steinberg | February 3

Here’s the 411 on your 101s

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Opinion

Satire: My foolproof plan to get out of class for Jewish holidays

By Eric Steinberg | January 27

It’ll take some real chutzpah to pull off

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Opinion

Satire: PETITION: Let the Seagle be Secretary of the Press

By The Seagle Staff | January 15

An impassioned plea to our future supreme leader and king Donald Jonald Trump

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