The following piece is satire and should not be misconstrued for actual reporting. Any resemblance to a student, staff or faculty member is coincidental. This year, students at American University are speculating wildly about what Vice President-elect Kamala Harris’ husband Douglas Emhoff will wear ...

Opinion

Satire: What your horoscope is for finals season

By Aliza Schuler | December 9

We all need a little hope right now

Opinion

Satire: Easy TDR meals you can make from home

By Aliza Schuler | November 23

For those who are just missing TDR a bit too much

Opinion

Satire: 5 ways to keep yourself awake during Zoom classes

By Owen Boice | November 18

What to do when your eyeballs are about to fall out

Opinion

Senior desperately trying to convince friends her semester abroad in France was inspiration for ‘Emily in Paris’

By Bobbie Armstrong | November 4

There’s a lot of people named Emily that may have been in Paris at some point

Opinion

Satire: AU commits to announcing spring 2021 plans when they feel like it

By Owen Boice | October 23

Decision to be based on mounting financial losses

Opinion

Satire: Lonely Republican student changes Zoom background to ‘I heart capitalism’

By Owen Boice | October 14

Finding other Republicans at AU may be one computer click away

Opinion

Satire: Debate fly probably dead by now

By Bobbie Armstrong | October 8

It was fun while it lasted

Opinion

Satire: Wonk Cat takes semester off to backpack through Europe

By Owen Boice | September 19

Campus’s only feline resident defers for a semester after classes go online

Opinion

Satire: AU leaves Blackboard for younger, hotter educational platform

By Bobbie Armstrong | September 1

The grass is always greener on the next assignment

Opinion

Satire: 5 ways to spend the 10 percent you’re saving on tuition

By Bobbie Armstrong | August 20

You can splurge on a large at Philz now!

The UFL and Why it's Good for the Sport

Section 202 hosts Connor Sturniolo and Gabrielle McNamee are joined by fellow Eagle staff member and phenomenal sports photographer, Josh Markowitz. Follow along as they discuss the United Football League and the benefits it provides for the world of professional football.

Solutions by The State News