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(04/13/06 4:00am)
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
The warm weather has given you a new lease on life, so really make the most of it. Feel the cool breeze as it blows your miniskirt up in front of your crush, relish the stains from your dripping ice cream cone and good luck with that painful bee sting that may or may not cause your face to swell.
Unlucky charm: Sacagawea coin, face down.
(03/30/06 5:00am)
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Jinkies! It will be extremely difficult to solve the mysteries placed before you this week, Aries. If you get the right people in the van and supply them with a large quantity of sandwiches, you will discover who or what has been haunting the amusement park. Go get 'em, you meddling kid, you.
(03/23/06 5:00am)
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
(03/09/06 5:00am)
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
This is the weekend that will make you famous. The stars will align for you all week, and everything you do will be the makings of a legend. Unfortunately, the slow-speed car chase and subsequent mug shots will undoubtedly be the things that your adoring public will remember.
Celebrity in your sign: Wayne Newton
(02/23/06 5:00am)
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Think back to a time when you were wearing your favorite clogs. If you braid your hair and eat some cake, you will be able to find the windmill that has been eluding you. Travel over the hill and beyond the river, past the bridge where the troll will grant you your greatest wish.
Lucky TDR&B jam: "Can't Get Enough of Your Love" by Barry White
(02/16/06 5:00am)
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
In terms of your love life, it appears you've been left out in the cold. Thankfully, you remembered to wear a pair of extra socks and packed your scarf. However, all the layers in the world are not going to save you from the abominable snowman that will be waiting on your doorstep.
Star-prescribed breakup excuse: "It's not you, it's me."
(02/09/06 5:00am)
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
This weekend is sure to be one filled with the realization of some of your greatest desires. You've been waiting for so long, and finally the moment has arrived. Bring your best hairnet and have extra Fixodent on hand, because your wild weekend with Mabel and Edna is going to be one that you will never forget.
Lucky candy heart saying: My Ho
(12/08/05 5:00am)
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
(12/01/05 5:00am)
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
(11/17/05 5:00am)
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
There's something about this Thanksgiving that you're looking forward to, Aries. Sit back and figure out exactly what it is. Is it the home cooked food, the football games or just an overwhelming desire to baste your turkey in the privacy of your own home?
Pesky relative to avoid: Narcoleptic Uncle Stu.
(11/17/05 5:00am)
Modern dance is not necessarily for everyone, but it is certainly worth experiencing. Dance Place D.C. hopes to give everyone that opportunity.
(11/10/05 5:00am)
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Sometimes you just have to go with the flow. Even if it means drifting down the creek without a paddle in a boat chartered by a large ex-con named One-Nut Larry. Happy trails to you, my friend.
Lucky '80s hair band: Quiet Riot
(11/03/05 5:00am)
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
There will be a peculiar noise coming from your refrigerator on Tuesday. You will ignore it until an odd smell surfaces around Thursday. You will totally intend to investigate it on Friday afternoon, but by then it will be too late.
Lucky sexual position: The one-legged nun.
(10/27/05 4:00am)
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Be on the lookout for a wicked witch with a vendetta. This weekend, she will find you and try to put a spell on you. Even if you have a huge bucket of water on hand, you might just have to choke a witch. Don't stop until you hear, "I'm melting! I'm melting!"
Star-recommended costume: Naughty nurse.
(10/24/05 4:00am)
There is something wonderful about a family-friendly feel-good musical. "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat," a biblical tale told through the beautiful and catchy songs of Tim Rice and Andrew Lloyd Webber, is one of the most popular shows of the genre. The national touring production that hit the Warner Theatre downtown last weekend showcased why one of the oldest stories in the book can still prove to be so much fun.
(10/20/05 4:00am)
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
There's nothing wrong with taking it easy and trying to let things go sometimes. So do something a little out of the ordinary this week. Let a bottom-feeder use you to serial cheat on their significant other. Every player gets a prize.
Lucky study aid: Ear Plugs.
(10/13/05 4:00am)
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
You may feel as though you are ready to shed your outermost layer and really come into your own this week. So strip off your clothes and start that nudist colony. Convince your roommate to join and enjoy your naked bliss.
Lucky dance: The Macarena.
(10/06/05 4:00am)
Aries (March 21 -April 19)
This week, your friends will be super-supportive of every decision you make. You'll think you're flying high above your network of congenial buddies until the weekend, when you find yourself unable to make bail.
Lucky reality show: "Breaking Bonaduce."
(09/29/05 4:00am)
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
If he or she wants to be with you, baby, there's a price to pay. You're a genie in a bottle, and he or she has to rub you the right way. Just remember, there's a reason your heart is saying no.
Lucky undergarment: Negligee.
(09/22/05 4:00am)
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Are you feeling spontaneous this week? Surprise your friends with a new hairstyle. That's right, cut your roommate's hair while he or she sleeps.
You'll get lucky in: Hughes Hall.