Aries (March 21 - April 19) If he or she wants to be with you, baby, there's a price to pay. You're a genie in a bottle, and he or she has to rub you the right way. Just remember, there's a reason your heart is saying no. Lucky undergarment: Negligee.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20) Oops, you did it again! You played with some hearts, and got lost in the game. Oops, someone thinks you're in love and that you've been sent from above. The truth: you're not that innocent. Lucky undergarment: Edible panties.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20) If you've got a car that's as big as whale, you should head on down to the love shack. The love shack is a little old place where you will get together. On Tuesday, beware the glitter on the mattress and the glitter on the highway. Lucky undergarment: Long johns.
Cancer (June 21 - July 21) This week let your crush know that if someone wants to be your lover, he or she has to get with your friends. That's the only way you can make it last forever, cause friendship never ends. On Friday, slam your body down and wind it all around. Lucky undergarment: Mesh thong.
Leo (July 22 - Aug. 22) Watch out this weekend, because the people in your life may be tempted to tell you "Bye, Bye, Bye." They don't really wanna make it tough, they just want to tell you that they've had enough. It might sound crazy but it ain't no lie. Lucky undergarment: You're going commando.
Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sept. 22) Despite what may happen to you this week, don't give up hope. Remember that you're too legit, too legit to quit. Indeed my friend, too legit to quit. Wednesday you'll get hit with a dose of Oaktown power, so prepare to make a fashion statement. Lucky undergarment: Day-of-the-week undies.
Libra (Sept. 23 - Oct. 22) Guys, enjoy yourself this week, because everywhere you go you will hear choruses of praise for whatta man, whatta man, whatta mighty good man you are. Ladies, you'll find some people that make you wanna shoop. Take them for a ride in your coupe. Lucky undergarment: Scooby Doo boxers.
Scorpio (Oct. 23 - Nov. 21) Early in the week you will be heading towards spiritual enlightenment. Ask yourself: What if God was one of us? Make sure to talk to that stranger on a bus. Don't worry though: by the weekend, you'll be in the spotlight, losing your religion. Lucky undergarment: Granny panties.
Sagittarius (Nov. 22 - Dec. 21) A wonderful week is in store for you. Someone likes the way you work it. No diggity. Be on the lookout for someone who totally wants to bag you up. Then, although you've got class and style, stay very low key on the profile. Play on, player. Lucky undergarment: Garter belt.
Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19) You may be suspicious of your significant other this week, but you shouldn't be. As long as he or she swears, by the moon and the stars and the sky, that he or she will be there like a shadow that's by your side, everything will work out fine. Lucky undergarment: Swimsuit (unless you do your laundry!).
Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18) Close your eyes, make a wish, and blow out the candlelight. This week, it's just your week. Be ready to celebrate all through the night. Someone just may offer to make love to you, like you want him or her to. Don't tell him or her to let go. Lucky undergarment: Jockstrap.
Pisces (Feb. 19 - March 20) You may be questioning yourself this week. Are you original? (Yeeeea-ah.) Are you the only one? (Yeeeea-ah.) Are you sexual? (Yeeeea-ah.) In fact, you are everything anyone could need, so let loose, and rock your body now. Lucky undergarment: Pasties (with nipple tassels) .
