Satire

Opinion

Satire: Student walks in other direction to avoid potentially awkward encounter with Zoom classmate

By Owen Boice | September 23

“If I had said hello, what would we have even talked about?”

---

Opinion

Satire: Lone mask on sidewalk outside Hughes has seen better days

By Owen Boice | September 15

“When I was back on the shelf at Target, in a plastic case with four friends, that was a lot more fun”

---

Opinion

Satire: Students resort to passing notes during class

By Owen Boice | September 8

Transition to in-person learning exacerbated by absence of Zoom private chat feature

---

Opinion

Satire: The fall 2021 guide to making friends on campus

By Nora Sullivan | September 6

The Seagle’s guide to a successful semester

---

Opinion

Satire: Catching up with AU’s five science majors

By Nora Sullivan | August 2

Science students take comfort in their new space away from political science majors

---

Opinion

Satire: AU requires COVID vaccines to bolster University’s liberal reputation

By Nora Sullivan | July 28

AU community breathes a sigh of relief 

---

Opinion

Satire: Top 12 most ‘AU’ things students are doing this summer

By Owen Boice | July 22

#5 guaranteed to shock you — just as much as any other thing

---

Opinion

Satire: Greek life loses members as students find out what it actually is

By Owen Boice | June 28

“If you still want to be part of an exclusive club, Kogod is always an option.”

---

Opinion

Satire: AU assures students they can still be wonks even after end of “WONK” brand campaign

By Owen Boice | May 13

Students react to change in marketing strategy

---

Opinion

Satire: Student at center of COVID outbreak staying safe by only seeing people in 25-person bubble

By Bobbie Armstrong | April 10

Everyone in the mosh pit was wearing a mask!

---

Opinion

Satire: Students excited to return to campus for summer session, fall semester, oh who knows when

By Owen Boice | April 8

“I can’t wait to get back to campus tomorrow, next semester, or in 10 years.”

---

Opinion

Satire: Interior design tips for the dorm aesthetic

By Aliza Schuler | April 3

Childhood bedrooms are so last fall

---

Opinion

Satire: Students horrified to learn professors can see Zoom chat

By Owen Boice | March 11

Professor invades Zoom chat, prompting student outcry

---

Opinion

Satire: Freshmen charmed by quaint, poverty stricken streets of Georgetown

By Bobbie Armstrong | February 18

“I’m glad I can donate my money to such a worthy cause as Baked & Wired.”

---

Opinion

Satire: AU reports record drop in campus alcohol consumption this year

By Owen Boice | February 15

Administrators chalk it up to stellar online training course, “AlcoholEdu”

---

Opinion

Satire: Students speculate on what Vice President-elect Harris’ husband will wear on inauguration day

By Owen Boice | January 3

The following piece is satire and should not be misconstrued for actual reporting. Any resemblance to a student, staff or faculty member is coincidental. This year, students at American University are speculating wildly about what Vice President-elect Kamala Harris’ husband Douglas Emhoff will wear ...

---

Opinion

Satire: What your horoscope is for finals season

By Aliza Schuler | December 9

We all need a little hope right now

---