Legal News

News

Don’t worry, you probably haven’t heard of them ...

By Mr. Mac Ed-Vet Me To (wrote this years ago) | March 28

In the world of independent music, it is impossible to approach a new release without first tacking a subgenre onto it. Death-twee, Yanomami-core and Portuguese fado-metal instantly spring to mind. However, as the audience at DC9 is sure to witness on April 1, Brooklyn quintet Crystal Beaches delivers a low-fidelity aesthetic that has yet to be defined by a subgenre.

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News

Asian Flavors restaurant booming after first week open

By Nicole Glass | March 28

Asian Flavors opened its doors to more than 1,000 customers during its first week, according to owner Tom Gera.

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News

Giant hampster balls keep AU’s disgusting smokers segregated

By Tiger Blood | March 28

Next month, a fleet of giant plastic spheres will be rolling on to campus, where they will provide a solution for both smoking and non-smoking students

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News

'Humans versus Zombie' game invades campus

March 28

The zombie apocalypse is coming to AU— but don’t worry, it’s for a good cause.

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News

Students learn sign language to counter District noise law

By Hidden Dragon | March 28

While some of their peers continue to protest the new D.C. City Noise Ordinance, a group of AU students is learning to live around the late-night law by learning American Sign Language.

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News

Class of ’15 says ‘Screw you!’ to non-SIS departments

By Tom Tom | March 28

“Maybe it’s my fault. Am I doing something wrong?” An increasingly agitated Lang asked. “I must be doing something wrong. I’m a failure of a statistician. Maybe they’re right. Maybe math isn’t a real major here after all. I should have stayed at my state school to study like my mom wanted. Then maybe I wouldn’t feel like I was wasting my parent’s money for a degree that I could have gotten for cheaper and better somewhere else.”

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News

Groundbreaking movies to educate a lost generation

By Cho Fo' Sho | March 28

Every week, The Scene staff, in our infinite generosity, feels the need to address the unenlightened and culturally-deficient masses of AU about what upcoming movies they should and shouldn’t watch. Since it is quite obvious that students in this day and age have no other avenue when it comes to top-notch ...

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News

AU holds auction of last straight single men; females riot violently

By Wolf Son | March 28

This past Saturday, what began as a harmless philanthropy event, ended in tears, fire and mass amounts of property damage.

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News

Wonk takes over mascot shindig

By John of the Greek | March 28

Next time you go to an AU basketball game, you won’t be seeing Clawed Z. Eagle cheering on his team.

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News

AU clubs receive $12,000 more than last year

By Kate Froehlich | March 28

The AU Club Council has allocated $119,046 to student clubs for the 2011 fiscal year — a $12,000 increase from what was distributed during the previous fiscal year, according to AUCC Chair Katelyn Hurley.

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News

Hollywood finally gives up, names microwave next star

By We Forget | March 28

Hollywood executives have run out of ideas for new movies and are forced to turn to their kitchen appliances for inspiration. “At our pitch meeting, we all brought in something from each of our kitchens and dumped it in the middle of the conference table,” a Warner Bros. executive said. The executives ...

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News

Idiotic junior really thought AU had a football team

By Dave | March 28

Bob Channing, a junior in the School of International Service, just realized the t-shirts emblazoned with “AU Football: Still Undefeated” are a joke, but he isn’t laughing.

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News

'Greatest Show on Earth' rocks Verizon Center

By Rocio Gonzalez | March 28

The Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus — “The Greatest Show on Earth” — spent the weekend entertaining audiences of all ages at the Verizon Center. This year, the circus is celebrating the 200th anniversary of the birth of P.T. Barnum with a show called “Barnum 200: Barnum’s FUNundrum.”

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News

Residence Hall Association: Guests should check into dorms

By Zach C. Cohen | March 28

Non-AU guests visiting residence halls would be required to sign into dorms and submit identification information under a proposed Residence Hall Association resolution.

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News

Blue Man Group comes to D.C.

By Hoai-Tran Bui | March 28

The Blue Man Group is not just a show, it is an experience. It balances classic, circus humor with artsy, edgy performances that make great use of drums, technology and plenty of paint.

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News

Tree houses deemed solution to ‘all of AU’s problems’

By Lil’ Lo-Lo | March 28

Although school officials still plan to construct academic buildings on the Nebraska Parking Lot, the proposed dormitory buildings will be relocated to campus, where Housing & Dining has devised an ingenious plan to house the overflow of AU students.

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Opinion

Eagle Rants: March 29

March 28

• It's almost April, which means there's almost only one month of classes left, which means it's almost finals, which means it's almost summer! Right? Right!?!? • The (National) Mall is home to some of the strangest characters on Earth, I swear … • Dear AU, 60 minutes does not dry ...

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