Hollywood executives have run out of ideas for new movies and are forced to turn to their kitchen appliances for inspiration.
“At our pitch meeting, we all brought in something from each of our kitchens and dumped it in the middle of the conference table,” a Warner Bros. executive said.
The executives then randomly picked an appliance that would be the star of their next big blockbuster. The microwave was the lucky winner. Oscar-winning screenwriters are currently writing a script, and the film is set to release in July 2014. The film will be shot in 3D.
“We have great faith in the star power of the microwave,” the executive said, “There’s just so much potential in it and its story.”
The film has the working title “Microwave! The Movie!” Executives are unsure of whether they will change the name, many claiming it to be pretty amazing.
“The name is pure genius,” a Warner Bros said. PR agent. “It will run marathons around all other movie titles. I can’t wait to get started on its marketing campaign.”
Executives have decided to forego CGI and make the film in live action, with actors dressed as the kitchen appliances themselves. They hope to get Nicolas Cage to star as the titular Microwave. The film also would not just take place in the kitchen, but mainly in the Sahara, where Microwave would have to face off against evil robot monkeys in an explosion-ridden fight to the death.
“We wanted to show Microwave in a place out of his element,” said a Warner Bros. screenwriter. “So he gets abandoned in the Sahara. We’re still working out the kinks in the script.”
Universal executives scoffed when they heard of Warner Bros.’ much buzzed-about “Microwave” project, and insisted that their idea is much better.
“Kitchen appliances! Ha!” a Universal executive said. “We’re going a way more original route. Mats! It will be a new sensation!”
“Mats” will be a musical starring Cher loosely based on the musical “Cats.” Universal Studios executives are keen that the similar-sounding title will draw fans of the “Cats” musical. The film is set to release in June, a week before “Microwave! The Movie!” and two weeks after Michael Bay’s new film “Explosions 3-D.”
“The summer of 2014 will definitely be a summer to look forward to,” a Universal talent agent said. “I, along with everyone else, can’t wait to be blinded by explosions in 3D.”
