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Wednesday, March 25, 2026

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Satire

Satire: If you thought voter suppression was good, just wait till you get a load of voter oppression, per exit polls

By Chris Whitbeck · Friday, Nov. 16, 2018

Polls suggest Republicans may have better luck, and more fun, by outright oppressing voters

Satire: AU student terrified to admit he forgot to apply for an absentee ballot

By Lauren Patetta · Thursday, Nov. 15, 2018

If anyone finds out, he’s a dead man

Satire: TDR realizes it’s been operating in the wrong time zone

By Caeden Cloud · Wednesday, Nov. 14, 2018

An unnoticed error during daylight savings five years ago explains why AU’s only dining hall closes so early

Opinion

Satire: Students too hungry for political power to notice free food on election night

By Caeden Cloud | November 12

AU was so invested in the 2018 midterm elections that a full buffet went virtually untouched

Opinion

Satire: Big if true: AU students remember climate change exists

By Nicole Klokiw | November 6

Students are scrambling to save their world one plastic straw at a time

Opinion

Satire: “Everything is fine,” administration says, reflecting on the Hughes Hall fire

By Lauren Patetta | November 5

While campus crumbles, university officials look on the bright side

Opinion

Satire: Turf war: AU freshmen form repair group in absence of 2Fix responses

By Caeden Cloud | October 31

Meet the students in charge of “StuFix,” AU’s newest student-run organization

Opinion

Satire: Former administrator spooked by trick-or-treaters dressed as old, female professors

By Chris Whitbeck | October 31

“All they asked for was tenure!”

Opinion

Satire: Senior university administrator responds to an email in timely fashion

By Nickolaus Mack | October 25

We can only hope that this new practice spills over to faculty

Opinion

Satire: AU launches 'Spy School' program within new School of Covert Affairs

By Lauren Patetta | October 23

“We’re already graduating plenty of spies, but from now on we’re going to actually know about it"

Opinion

Satire: New Green Route shuttle will take you to hell and back

By Bobbie Armstrong | October 17

Have fun trying to get to your internship on time

Opinion

Satire: Unofficial official Seagle news broadcast

By Nickolaus Mack | October 15

From an electrical fire to legal action, AU proves to be more than just politically active

Opinion

Satire: Tour group thrilled by amount of chain link fencing AU has to offer

By Ian Pritchard | September 27

Don’t even get them started on the gases buried in the ground

Opinion

Satire: School of International Service to grant honorary degree to that kid in your World Politics course

By Nickolaus Mack | September 17

His unfailing ability to monopolize class discussion greatly impressed department chairs

Opinion

Satire: Inspiring! This really mean freshman wrote her admissions essay about kindness

By Bobbie Armstrong | September 6

Her roommate had a breakdown and moved out after just one week

Opinion

Satire: Anderson Hall mice make push to unionize

By Bobbie Armstrong | August 30

The revolution is happening — in the walls

The UFL and Why it's Good for the Sport

Section 202 hosts Connor Sturniolo and Gabrielle McNamee are joined by fellow Eagle staff member and phenomenal sports photographer, Josh Markowitz. Follow along as they discuss the United Football League and the benefits it provides for the world of professional football.

Solutions by The State News