Opinion

It's hard to say this ... but we're through

Dear Undergraduate Internship, I don't know how to tell you this ... but we're through. For four years, we have flirted amicability and loved unconditionally. But it's time for our relationship to end. We've had a run of it, but it's time we became "just friends.

Student Government endorsements

For a student body billed as the most politically active in America, you would have thought that more than eight students would have applied for the four separate executive offices in the AU Student Government. Three candidates ran for president, two for both comptroller and vice president and one for secretary.

Baby girl got ADD; Now what do we do?

After spending a weekend with Ann off her Concerta patch, I wanted to pull my hair out. Did you know they make Concerta, a methylphenidate like Ritalin, similar to the make-up of Adderall (dextroamphetamine) and cocaine (methylbenzoylecgonine), in a discrete patch like Nicorette and birth control? Now people can switch right from treating Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder, to having lots of sex, to trying to quit smoking with the convenience of wearing a bandage.

Letter to the editor: Phi Mu "Jail N Bail" makes light of serious situation

On March 26, a campus sorority, Phi Mu, sponsored a fundraiser entitled "Jail N Bail." The concept was simple enough: participants were placed in a makeshift cage in the quad and students donated "bail money" to eventually release them. The fundraiser was obviously supposed to be a fun concept, and it seems like many enjoyed themselves in the quad today.

Letter to the editor: Eagle's editorial an "apocalypse" in and of itself

The most recent editorial from The Eagle editorial board is one that provides yet another confirmation of a long held belief about Progressives: their self-professed love of reason and science only go as far as reason and science reinforce their ideological aims.

Letter to the editor: AUTO editorial bungles debate's argument

Monday's staff editorial in The Eagle about the harms of expanding the 50-mile limit on AUTO vans misrepresents the efforts of the Debate Society and other student groups. The editorial claims that we're jeopardizing the entire AUTO program. The letter we wrote to the university never stated that AUTO was the solution.

Eagle Rants

I really wish that people would just learn to say "hi." If you've met someone before, it's the polite think to do. Wow, those Pike pledges sure were disrespectful at Relay for Life last Friday ... cancer isn't funny. I hate how entitled everyone at AU is.

Catch-all accusations obfuscate real debate

Dahlia Lithwick's Slate column last week was predictably strong, engaging and insightful. She astutely dissected the many ways in which Republican opposition to Elena Kagan and Dawn Johnsen - President Obama's nominees for solicitor general and assistant attorney general - is riddled with hypocrisy.

An Inconvenient Tray

More often than not, students and organizations pay only lip service to their supposed environmental concerns. This situation involves lots of talk and little action, as we have seen oil companies like Exxon and Chevron hilariously exemplify. Unfortunately, AU students often follow the trend - they talk a big game but change little in their lives.

Western civilization propels advances

Gosh, those "progressives" sure caught that mean old Tom Tancredo in a trap, didn't they? A few weeks ago, the former congressman was brought to campus by the newly launched right-wing group Youth for Western Civilization to give a speech on the importance of assimilation and the value of Western culture (full disclosure: I am media director for the organization).

The Throwdown

The Eagle's left-leaning columnist Jacob Shelly takes on hard-right Alex Knepper as the two debate their most current columns.The week the two debate the merits of multiculturalism's role in defining modern America.

Editorial cartoon

Wear a condom to save U.S. health care

Let's talk about sex, D.C. We're guessing an opening like that is destined to get some attention. Only this week, we need to address a startling and unfortunate side of sex that can downright take the fun out of making that sweet booty music. A report released last week crowned this great city as an HIV/AIDS haven with the highest infection rates in the country.

Amoral judges jailed kids for cash

Pennsylvania judges Mark Ciavarella and Michael Conahan can hardly be described as honorable. Despicable is the word of choice. Last month the two pleaded guilty to federal fraud and conspiracy charges. But theirs is no ordinary crime. Here's how the particularly disturbing scheme worked: Conahan ordered the closure of local state youth detainment center in 2002, citing poor facilities.

Idiotic vandals crash fundraiser

Well ... big surprise. A bunch of drunken idiots took a good thing and turned it bad. The Relay for Life event held this Friday and Saturday in Bender Arena should have been remembered for the $24,000 raised for cancer research. Instead it is remembered for three vandalized urinal dividers and other assorted hi-jinx.

Eagle Rants

NO MORE LATE NIGHT CHANTS/SINGING IN THE QUAD PLEASE! Seriously, what is UP with The Eagle? OMG. Like, what is with the design for the Eagle Rants section? "*@#!2*%!"? Where the hell does the "2" come in? Redesign, Eagle, and save us the headache, thanks.

Keep AUTO vans tethered

The lumbering AUTO van is a ubiquitous presence on the AU campus. Mention the vans to almost anyone and chances are you'll get some sort of story detailing the "cozy" interior and familiar musky aroma of the cushions. Used widely by many clubs on campus, these vehicles perform a vital service to students and clubs looking to get out of D.