People in the SG are a bunch of out-of-touch and self-righteous squares.
I just can't get over how much better life is off-campus. Drinking is so important to college life.
This school starts too many bad rumors about greek life.
Water bottles are so bad for the campus! Don't use them!!!
SG needs way more transparency. They are so dweeby and self-righteous.
There are only three guys and thirty-seven women in my literature class! Oh the perks of being a straight lit major.
What happened to the SG? Was it always this bad?
Why are my rants never published? Charlie ... you don't know me, but I know you... Publish my god-damned rants!
EDITOR'S NOTE: This is a little creepy.
Does anyone remember when that kid made fun of the athletes for wearing sweat pants or some shit like that? That was hilarious! Who's going to start it again this year? Holla!
If I had known that greek life was such a big deal on campus, I WOULD NOT HAVE COME HERE.
Yo AUSG, I'm really happy for you and imma let you finish, but the impeachment of Matt Handverger was the biggest waste of time ever.
Yo Women's Initiative, I'm really happy for you and imma let you finish, but last week's sex column was the best of all time.
I just found out yesterday that one of my friends here is gay ... not that that's a problem, and I guess I shouldn't be surprised.
There's this real cute guy in my Econ class. I'm pretty sure he's straight too. Cha-Ching!
Eagle ... what's the deal with the sex column? I mean, really? Come on.
Loud drunken girls everywhere, and not one that will consent to my awkward advances.
HELLO! Rants!? Where are you?
SUB Cinema, why would you trick me into believing I would get to feast my eyes on Johnny Depp, and then snatch his loveliness away? Transformers definitely doesn't fulfill my craving for a sexy, TALENTED actor.
Is it true that girls like guys for their personalities? Do I have a chance? My personality is terrible.
There's this really cute girl in my bio lab. She's [perfect] Too bad I WILL NEVER TALK TO HER.
EDITORS NOTE: This rant was edited for indecency and lewdness.
My fantasy football team is terrible!! Randy Moss has one point!!
Advice: Do not take journalism classes. The professors are so confused as to what to teach about new media that you will not learn anything of substance. Wait 'til they get their shit together.
I played hard to get at this party Saturday and it was working perfectly ... until she started making out with my friend in the corner. FML.
Woke up with the worst hangover ever today. And by worst hangover ever, I mean, it wasn't all that bad.
What is taking so long for rants to come back? Weren't they everyone's favorite part of the paper?
Your sex column is a pitiful joke. Written by people afraid to give their real names, it's nothing but an outlet for shock, or should I say shock value. Instead of offering interesting info or helpful advice it's an exercise in self-titillation for frustrated anonymous fools. The paper and the AU reading public deserve better.
My TA sounds exactly like Kelly on The Office. It's the only thing that keeps me going to that class.
I'm taking an art class. It's OK. But you know those weirdoes that are, like, so freakin' into art? I mean, you could take a crap on a plate and call it sunshine, and they'd call it a masterpiece.
Tavern tenders, they look and taste better, but they still leave you with sick feeling. Can we fix that?
AWOL's disrespectful display of the American flag - hanging it upside down - makes me so angry that I want to explode. Distress? They think we're in distress? I don't see any starving people, or any drowning or dying people. AWOL's existence isn't being threatened (though I wish Student Activities would think about it). They thought it would be funny, or might bring back the protests of the 60s. They were wrong.
Campus needs more workout facilities.
To the cute freckled blonde in my Analysis of U.S. Foreign Policy class: you seem as bored as I am. Stay after class next time, let's grab lunch and find something more interesting to talk about.
Why doesn't my boyfriend love ME???!!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?
TAYLOR SWIFT IS A BIG SISSY AND HER MUSIC SUCKS. KANYE WAS ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. AND YES, I AM USING CAPITAL LETTERS TO MAKE MY POINT JUST LIKE MY HOMEBOY DOES ON HIS BLOG. THROUGH THE WIIIIRE!!!!!!!!
Dear girl next door, Please turn your angry music down. Some of us really like the sound of quiet, not the angry screams coming from your room. Love, Your next-door neighbor.
I hate the Office of Information Technology. Talk about some useless people who get paid too much to be stupid.
Rant: You've just lost the game!!
Tiffany: Brian really misses you, and we have 700 words about it if you're interested. EDITORS NOTE: Love letter supplied to Tiffany on request.
Guess what? I'm on my lunch break at a law office, and do you know what I thought to do? RANT.
Dear South side RAs: We're not children, and your participation in the RA programs reveals your inability to make good choices. So leave us the alone.
To the person who forgets to eat ...what the hell is wrong with you?
Yo, Andy, I'm really happy for you, and I'ma let you finish, but Seth Cutter was the best SG president of all time.
Go to http://www.theeagleonline.com/opinion/rants to submit your rants.
