The Eagle

Satire: AU administration under fire as sentient flames claim new alarm system is discriminatory

(05/05/23 12:00pm)

From the Newsstands: This story appeared in The Eagle's April 2023 print edition. You can find the digital version here.

https://www.theeagleonline.com/article/2023/05/satire-au-administration-under-fire-as-sentient-flames-claim-new-alarm-system-is-discriminatory

Satire: Students bite back after dog-directed blog drops ball with publishing

(02/22/23 1:00pm)

The following piece is satire and should not be misconstrued for actual reporting. Any resemblance to a student, staff or faculty member is coincidental.

https://www.theeagleonline.com/article/2023/02/satire-students-bite-back-after-dog-directed-blog-drops-ball-with-publishing

Satire: New lockout policy leaves students living in the lounges

(02/03/23 1:29pm)

The following piece is satire and should not be misconstrued for actual reporting. Any resemblance to a student, staff or faculty member is coincidental.

https://www.theeagleonline.com/article/2023/02/satire-new-lockout-policy-leaves-students-living-in-the-lounges

Satire: Student Health Center declares a state of emergency as frat flu destroys campus

(02/02/23 1:38pm)

This flu season saw class cancellations, switches to virtual learning and completely booked Student Health Center appointments as hundreds of students came down with the flu. Due to complete bookings and little flexibility, students decided to group together and Uber to urgent care centers across the DMV.

https://www.theeagleonline.com/article/2023/02/satire-student-health-center-declares-a-state-of-emergency-as-frat-flu-destroys-campus

Satire: SPA requires great deal of begging to be re-subscribed to digest

(12/13/22 1:00pm)

From the Newsstands: This story appeared in The Eagle's November 2022 print edition. You can find the digital version here.

https://www.theeagleonline.com/article/2022/12/satire-spa-requires-great-deal-of-begging-to-be-re-subscribed-to-digest