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Sunday, June 16, 2024
The Eagle
Satire Seagle

The Kogod guy who cared

A Seagle poem

The following piece is satire and should not be misconstrued for actual reporting. Any resemblance to a student, staff or faculty member is coincidental.

Most Kogod guys never did seem to care at all,

Not in the summer or the winter or the spring or fall.

Numbers this,

Money that,

Betting every day.

But came along a guy who would not act this way.

In touch with his emotions, 

Never showing up late.

Wouldn’t think of buying Trojans

Until after the third date.

Most Kogod guys never ever seem to care at all,

Not in the summer or the winter or the spring or fall.

Stocks this,

Meetings that, 

Trading every day.

But came along a guy who would not act this way.

Sensitive and favored,

Not worried about his ego.

If you ask any other major, 

They’d say he was no Kogod bro.

Most Kogod guys never could seem to care at all,

Not in the summer or the winter or the spring or fall.

Cars this,

Sports that,

Selling every day. 

But came along a guy who would not act this way.

Not scared to laugh,

Or whine,

Or cry.

He chooses his own path,

With his risk assessment showing his time here will fly.

Most Kogod guys never will seem to care at all,

Not in the summer or the winter or the spring or fall.

Party this,

hookup that,

betting every day.

‘Twas the first time in years that a Kogod guy was a slay.

Jared Bowes is a freshman in the School of Public Affairs and is a satire columnist for The Eagle. 

This article was edited by Nora Sullivan, Alexis Bernstein and Abigail Pritchard. Copy editing done by Isabelle Kravis.

jbowes@theeagleonline.com


In this grand finale, hosts Sydney Hsu and Sara Winick say their goodbyes and give updated lists of their current favorite shows. Listen along and compare the new lists to those from the very first episode! 

To all the loyal listeners, it has been a great run, but all good things must come to an end. However, just like some of your favorite TV shows, a second season is never truly out of the question.



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