"This is one Hilton that should be closed for renovation."
- Mr. Blackwell, placing Paris Hilton on his Worst-Dressed List, on people.com.
Chipper demeanors and similar poster themes linked sorority recruitment and tsunami aid fund-raisers as they tabled Tuesday in Mary Graydon Center. The student group SHARE made a simple magic marker sign announcing its tsunami relief effort. Sitting next to them, sorority recruitment posters hyped their slogan, "Catch the wave!" Though we can guess which poster had glitter, there is no such easy answer to meld their noble purposes. Unless, we can do an aid drop of Ugg boots and bottled water.
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In the small town of Forest Grove, Ore. one Scene staffer spent her isolated winter break. The town itself consists of a movie theater, a couple grocery stores and the typical shopping establishments one would expect from a place with the population of 17,000. On one particular New Year's Eve afternoon, the local liquor store was bombarded with perhaps the most depressingly entertaining displays of alcohol lust. The line of pickup trucks to even enter the small parking lot of the store snaked down the block and around the corner. The denizens of this region were particularly feisty for five-dollar bottles of cheap vodka in a way that rivaled the feeding frenzy one could observe outside of Tenley Liquor. Ah, memories of home.
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If old ladies can will their entire estates to their poodles, then why can't a cat have a future in business? Trinity Southern University awarded a 6-year-old cat named Colby a Master's in Business Administration. The feline even graduated with high honors and a GPA of 3.5. After paying some fees and demonstrating that he had sufficient experience to enter the business world, Colby was awarded his degrees. The cat was actually contributing to an investigation of the faux-institution for fraud, and when the standout university awarded the Âber-intelligent kitty these keys to the doors of success, the Texas attorney general's office (a.k.a. Colby's owners) froze the fraudulent university's assets. So next time you decide to start a fake college online and charge people $300 for an MBA, make sure you know that your student ISN'T A CAT.
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In the same peaceful solitude that was Forest Grove, Ore., the same Scene staff member's teenage neighbor had herself a disappointing boyfriend. This disappointing boyfriend (we'll call him the "DB") would come careening around the corner every day around the same time,with Usher's "Yeah" blasting from his tinny, amateur sound system. The DB would pull up in front of her house, beep the horn, she would emerge, and her and the DB would make out for approximately 15 minutes. Once that time passed, she would get out and the DB would drive off into the sunset. A little alarming at first, but then there's the question - is that really such a bad situation?
