• Casa Negra, the happiest place on Earth!
• I'm here to get my MRS degree. What should I major in?
• Why does this school not have a dating site? All the cool schools have them. : (
• My first week at AU was amazing. I'm so glad I chose AU over Georgetown (and BU and Tulane and Wake Forest). GO AU!
• The gardens at AU are beautiful. I wish I had someone to take a romantic walk with me through them.
• Clawed Z. Eagle needs a girlfriend. Just sayin’.
• Fall Break countdown!
• Freakin’ Microsoft Word … How dare you taunt me with your red line of death … I know I spelled it right!
• WHERE MY RANTS AT?!
• First my online Eagle Rants get reduced to only five picks, and now Public Safety is killing the Police Blotter? I think I just ran out of reasons to read The Eagle!
• Making me pick up The Eagle to read all the rants is bad enough … but now the blotter's being discontinued????? I'm legitimately contemplating transferring to a school with a halfway decent paper.
• Why is The Eagle boycotting Eagle Rants? Not cool.
• I hate that you sign away some of your constitutional rights when you go greek at AU. I should be reprimanded for community service, charity fundraising, campus beautification and attracting new students. Sorry for partying. Sorry not sorry.
• Tim McBride liked my post on Facebook … I think I just peed.
• Since this school is so damn "green," why can I not turn my AC off from blasting high 24/7? My eyeballs are going to dry up and freeze! And then Housing and Dining will come in and be like, "gah, we’re gonna have to use unnatural chemicals to clean up this eyeball goop! At least it's nice and cold in here!" Just please, someone tell me where the darn off switch is!! (No, it is not conveniently in the middle of the wall, like in McDowell.)
• Just read my first round of Rants as an AU student. God this school is screwed up, but then again here I am writing one so my whole argument is kind of moot.
• "Honors kids are all dumb conceited d-bags anyway." Thanks Letts student. You really embody the AU spirit.
• Dear Lonely on South side,
I would like to be your friend.
Love, Lonely on North side
• Tim McBride delivered an epic takedown of privilege in Reflections of American Society on Stage this week. Maybe SG is not as ridiculous as it appears sometimes … ?
• I know I rant this like twice a semester, but I really do miss my freaking cat.
• To whomever stole my sandals on the LA Quad:
I have warts. Happy wearing them! But seriously … please, please, PLEASE return them to either Public Safety or McDowell front desk. They were my favorites.
• Dear Lonely from Southside,
A couple Northsiders would love to meet with you! We already know D.C. but there's always more to explore and friends to be made! We are not into partying and love Sticky Fingers and Busboys and Poets. Next Wednesday, Dav coffee at noon?
Friendly on Northside
[Editor’s Note: We at The Eagle are rooting for you! We hope you become friends … and rant about it!]
• Dear Lonely on Southside,
People like that do exist! Just keep looking for us, we'll be the ones watching classic movies or cooking dinner and exchanging witty commentary with our judgment intact in the lounges on Friday nights.
• TDR, you need to change your signs: You do not have ham and noodles with cheese sauce, you have cheese sauce with ham and noodles. I could drown in it.
• Hey Peter! I think you're cute and funny. Maybe I wanna do what bunnies do with you, if you know what I mean.
• Someone tell SUB to get Cage the Elephant to play here. Maybe get some "pop punk" that's actually worth a damn instead of amateur hour.
• I know I'm in the berks and all … but can people next door PLEASE stop smoking your cigarettes in the bathroom? The vents that are between the walls of our bathrooms are leaking your secondhand smoke into my bathroom and into my apartment … and ya'll are loud too. Not a fan.
• I've said it before and I'll say it again: Thank you Eagle for making those 3.75 hours go a little bit faster.
[Editor’s Note: Anytime!]
• Anyone else infected with the AU plague? Stupid rain and cold weather … got me sick. :( I refuse to be sick in September, especially when it's still 80 degrees outside.
• We need to form an angry town hall at the next SG Senate meeting.
• If all the commotion don't quit in the next few days, I'm pretty sure I'm going to end up with PTSD from the Roper-Clark War.
• To last week's ranter who is bored on weekends: You would have to be an EXTREMELY boring person to be bored in D.C. Do you know how many free museums, festivals, parks, art shows, concerts, etc. there are EVERY SINGLE WEEKEND in D.C.? I can't think of any better place on earth to be a college student than D.C. #getoffyourbuttandgetalife
• I miss AU SOOOOOOOO much.
— lonely alum
• Why is boyfriend such a d-bag?
• Why does Women's Initiative do nothing about the issue of the AU Student Health Center scaring women away from getting birth control by telling them they need a pap smear. Women: There is NO LAW requiring a pap smear to get birth control. The health center just wants to make more money off you. Stand up for your rights!
• Dear "Sally Student,"
Yeah, you're right. Library staff should be forced to work on a federal holiday just for you and your group project that literally can't be done anywhere else on campus. Let me personally apologize for causing you distress.
Sincerely,
THE LIBRARY
• Is Conor Shapiro single?
I like men that are fiercely liberal and unapologetically so.
• WTF Eaglesecure!!! I finally got the hang of eaglesafe or whatever it was last year and now this crap?! Why do I have to relog in 5047472398 times?!
• Who wants to show me a wonkin' good time?
• To the two very attractive guys who live in McDowell with their window facing Hughes: Thanks for leaving your curtains open and lights on every night when you're changing. I really do appreciate it.
• del C:\\*.* is open on all the computers in the library. My elementary school had that blocked. Enjoy your havoc.
• To the person who believes all Honors Kids are d-bags:
We're not all d-bags. Some more socially awkward/quirkier than others: yes. I'm sorry that your class section is closed off, but you could join honors. Many of us will readily admit that most honors sections aren’t that different from regular sections anyways.
Love,
A quirky Honors student
• Baby you can WONK my car
Yes I'm gonna be a star
Baby you can WONK my car
But I prob'ly won't love you
WONK WONK'm WONK WONK yeah!
• Apparently no one at The Eagle reads Nate Silver, because had they, the article about Lichtman would have mentioned the epic debate now taking place between them on Silver's blog. Ignorance is bliss guys, and you look so happy.
• @Sally Student: The "Tav?" Seriously? Have we gotten that lazy that saying a two-syllable word is too much effort? TAVERN. There. I've given my two cents.
• AU drops 3 spots in the rankings (lets be honest, rank matters). #wonkhasfailed
• Dear WANTED: Friends,
You sound pretty chill. I like to remember things about last weekend too. rant back.
-south side solitary
• I hate all boys and computers and classwork and stupid, slow boys.
• All I want is to find a small group that ISN'T a cult or place of hate/judgment. How on Earth is this difficult?
• Word is that AU plans on raising its cum laude requirement from 3.5 to 3.67 for 2012-2013 in hopes of raising their rankings … Hey AU, if you really want to be taken seriously, why don't you commit to expanding other academic programs outside SIS and SPA, rather than putting MORE unnecessary burdens/stress on hardworking students?
• RE: WANTED: Friends
Lonely on Southside,
I would like to meet you, as I too like to explore D.C. (especially over booze-and-sex-filled blurs). I’d love to debate about politics and quote TV shows, visit art museums and eat at quirky little bistros with you. I am a neat person, but haven’t yet found my niche here at AU. And yes, while I did copy and paste what you said, I am being sincere. If it works for you, I'll stand outside of MGC on Tuesday 9/20 sometime between 1 p.m. and 2:35 (I have a class), on Wednesday 9/21 after 3 but before 4, on Thursday 9/22 between 11:35 a.m. and 4, and on Friday between 10:10 and 2:35. Please note though that I'm probably not going to sit outside for that whole duration, but I will come by every now and then during those times. Hopefully we run into each other. I'll wear a cyan T-shirt with plaid shorts.
Lonely on Northside
[Editor’s Note: Does that mean you will be wearing that cyan T-shirt and those plaid shorts every day next week?]
• Working at the Phonathon is totally wizard people.
• Whoever left the handcuffs and KY Jelly in the garbage in the laundry room … probably read the "dorm sextiquite" article again … my innocent clean clothes have been scarred for life.
• OK so wasn't the point of putting all the upperclassmen on North Side to have activities catered especially for them? Then why the heck was the prep for the Job and Internship Fair in the Perch?! I would imagine that the Job and Internship Fair affects us upperclassmen more than freshman. #housinganddiningfail
• Why is the Job Board offline? Student Gov get your act together. Some of us need to find babysitting jobs and make money. Chef Geoff’s Happy Hour is cheap, but it isn't free.
• Where the hell did the couches on the second floor of the library go? Where am I supposed to take my power naps?
• — Lonely on Southside, you need to meet James Wigley …
• Hey AU, thanks for the inflatable bouncy castle and slide that were up on the Quad on Sept. 13 for all of two hours. I love being taunted as I go into my 11:45 class and walking out of my 1:10 class and seeing everything is taken down. Way to pick the time when EVERYONE has a damn class. I didn't even want to have fun!
• You can’t take an SPA-only section of a class if you're in SIS or SOC. Yet why has nobody complained about that? Maybe its because most of us are competent enough to make our own schedules. Don’t blame us Honors d-bags. Get off your high horse and get a better GPA.
• WHY are the library computers so slow? I keep expecting to hear the dial-up tone. At least then I could tell if the damn thing was restarting or just sitting in a freaking stupor.
• Thanks for bringing Eagle Rants back online! Just remember we phonathoners help make monies for you and sad phonathoners = fewer monies …
[Editor’s Note: We’re happy that you’re happy!.]
• For all the money we raise at Phonathon, would you mind turning on the heaters? Brrrrrr.
• I turned down going to Tulane, NYU and Wellesley to go here. Never made a better choice :)
• "Dorm ‘sextiquite’ tips": Well that was classy. Proud to be an Eagle after reading that one.
• No one ever comes to visit me during my office hours. I am a sad panda.
• Eaglesecure has made me download that WebXpress crap six times today. Six times! TODAY!
• AU, y you no let me get an A+ in any class? It kind of hurts me to think about how that one A- I got in econ the first semester of my freshman year has permanently killed my chances of having a 4.0.
• To the ranter who claimed that "Honors kids are all dumb conceited d-bags anyway":
As an Honors student, I take offense to that remark. It is a well-demonstrated fact that only 95 percent of us are conceited d-bags. As for the dumb factor … well, we got into the Honors program. You didn't.
Stop whining. It’s sickening and you all sound like spoiled brats.
• Whoever's network is named Aperture Science in Nebraska Hall … We should be best friends. Also, do you have cake?
• The Berks isn’t a dorm. Stop treating it like one. Some people have jobs/responsibilities and can't stay up until 3 a.m. every night because their immature, rude neighbors won't shut up.
• So I was doing laundry in the Berks today, and I saw a blonde guy (who was in my visual literacy class in fall '10) talking to a sweet old lady. First off, I think it was kind how he handled it, and second, I think he's cute. Can it be possible to see more guys like this around AU (kind, friendly, polite)? I know there are some around, but I feel like they're hiding.
• Just about every day, multiple times a day, I hear a rhythmic tapping coming from the room upstairs … not to be a cock block or anything but SERIOUSLY at 3 p.m. in the afternoon?
• C'mon AU frats! Have parties on Saturdays! Some of us have to work on Friday! =/
Rant here!
