After 11 studio albums, four “Taylor’s Version” re-recordings, and three live releases, “The Life of a Showgirl” arrives less like a celebration and more like something to pick apart; it’s a record that invites more questions than praise.
The album itself is a look into the pop star’s emotions on and off stage throughout The Eras Tour and how she manages the high-stress career and life of entertaining millions. While some tracks offer a more refined and vulnerable side to the pop star, the majority of the project is reflective of an out-of-touch celebrity, blinded by the bright lights that have shone on her since she debuted as a country music act at 16 years old.
So, grab your friendship bracelets and cardigans as we dive into numerical ratings of the newest output from the frequently discussed all-American artist.
“The Fate of Ophelia” 7.7/10
Swift’s opening track shows a lot of promise; its catchy vocals and fun instrumental carry the tune through its runtime. The lyrics find her comparing herself to Shakespeare’s Ophelia, a tragic romantic role from “Hamlet.” But, unlike the character from the play, Swift is saved by romantic love, presumably by her fiancé and Kansas City Chiefs football star Travis Kelce, who is referenced frequently throughout the rest of the album.
“Elizabeth Taylor” 6.5/10
This track is dialed back for Swift and shows her exploring her own fame through the analogy of Hollywood star Elizabeth Taylor. The vocals almost feel familiar, as if pulled from her 2020 album “Folklore,” with impressive layered vocal harmonization. However, she trades in the stripped-down sound from that era for a generic drum part and mediocre production. “Elizabeth Taylor” is a solid track, but one that lacks the vulnerability heard on similar records.
“Opalite” 8.0/10
A metaphorical song about healing, new beginnings and building something genuine, “Opalite” refers to a man-made opal — symbolising that just as beauty can be constructed naturally, happiness and love sometimes are our own creations. The lyrics nod to letting go of past expectations and creating one’s own path. It’s by far the strongest song on the album and effectively humanizes Swift’s persona. That she is someone who wants to change and grow, but in her own way — a sentiment that is lost as the album progresses.
“Father Figure” 4.0/10
This is the point in the song list where “The Life of a Showgirl” takes a nosedive in quality, primarily due to lyrics that might disappoint listeners. The song explores power dynamics and how Swift could potentially be a mentor to a protege. However, the metaphor gets lost in the confusing and laughable execution. Great vocals can’t save this song from its goofy lyrics; most notably the cringeworthy rhyming of “figure” with “cause my d–k’s bigger.”
“Eldest Daughter” 2.0/10
The songwriting problem isn’t isolated as we hit the same wall again with another track that sounds fine on the surface, but collapses lyrically. Swift egregiously and unironically says “bad bitch” and “savage” during every single chorus. The dated language becomes more and more grating with each listen. The latter is especially unfortunate to hear in 2025 from an artist who claims to support progressive issues — that includes language, Ms. Swift. This song feels out of touch with reality, something that is an unintentional theme throughout the album.
“Ruin the Friendship” 3.0/10
An utterly forgettable B-side track that doesn’t quite know what it wants to be, but inevitably settles for mediocrity with its sounds and lyrics.
“Actually Romantic” 1.0/10
The seventh track on “The Life of a Showgirl” is by far the most confrontational and divisive, with its opening line supposedly calling out the recently viral electronic music icon Charli XCX. “I heard you call me ‘Boring Barbie’ when the coke's got you brave,” she sings, calling out Charli’s pointed comments about Swift in her song “Sympathy is a Knife,” as well as her speculated cocaine usage. This feels unlike any of her music we’ve seen in the past and comes off as unnecessarily petty and jaded.
“Wi$h Li$t” 2.5/10
In principle, this song should work: Swift feels grounded in the fact that she wants a prototypical normal life that includes settling down with a family someday. However, in trying to convey a sweet message, she inadvertently corrupts the sentiment into a critique of wealthy elites, which includes herself. Maybe on her excessive private jet flights she finally realized what she’s been missing. In any case, the song’s original value seems earnest, but it morphs into a painful listen where she simply complains about rich people being rich.
“Wood” 4.0/10
If you want to hear a catchy two-and-a-half-minute song about Travis Kelce’s genitalia, this song is for you. While it plays much more like a Sabrina Carpenter song, it’s a fun and silly song riddled with euphemisms that celebrate the joys of physical intimacy.
“CANCELLED!” 1.5/10
From the title alone, it’s not hard to see how tone-deaf the latter half of this record has become. This song explores her understanding of cancel culture and the belief that there’s too much judgment of each other in the modern day. Not even 30 seconds into the song, Swift hits listeners with some even more dated language: “Did you girlboss too close to the sun?” At this point, the album almost feels like a parody or some strange campy satire about Taylor Swift, not a record written and performed by her.
“Honey” 3.0/10
This softer, more intimate song reflects on Swift’s past discomfort with superficial labels such as “honey,” as opposed to when people use it authentically. There’s sweetness in the song, unlike any of the previous tracks, but the lyrics become predictable and the production rather uninteresting, making it hard to salvage the well-intentioned idea.
“The Life of a Showgirl (ft. Sabrina Carpenter)” 6.5/10
The title track of “The Life of Showgirl” unexpectedly ties this disjointed collection of songs together with a somewhat interesting pop song. Carpenter is completely underutilized in this track, which is unfortunate, as her and Swift’s vocal duet could have been so much more engaging. The lyrics are once again uninspired, making it hard to stay interested.
As an avid fan of both “Folklore” and “Evermore,” Swift’s newest projects have been disappointing. I am perplexed by her current trajectory. Since 2020, I expected well-written and earnest lyrics, however I find my expectations unmet. In a perfect world, Swift will straighten up her act and return to what made her successful all those years ago. Until then, I remain a dissatisfied fan watching a star fall from grace and use her wealth and luxuries to cushion her landing.
This article was edited by Alia Messina, Jessica Ackerman and Walker Whalen. Copy editing done by Sabine Kanter-Huchting, Arin Burrell, Paige Caron, Ariana Kavoossi and Andrew Kummeth. and Ryan Sieve.
