•If you're an Econ MASTERS student you should be able to pronounce ARBITRAGE.
•As interesting as it is listening to you talk to your girlfriends about all the crazy things that happen to you "down there", you probably should discuss that kind of stuff elsewhere. also, look up the meaning of 'discretion'.
•@anti-smokers--so, you think that carbon monoxide just stops at the streets. You are a moron. Obviously you never took chemistry or physics.
•I enjoyed the Eagle article about how internships are way overblown (and often useless or counterproductive). People who waste their time in internships doing menial labor instead actual taking classes expanding their minds make me very sad. College is for intellectual growth. You have your whole life post college to work. Take advantage of all the amazing professors here while you can.
•I love how upper-middle class whites concur in their smug fawning over Nicholas Kristof...nicely done ER editor
•Dear Roommate: The phone is an incredible invention. Believe it or not, you DON'T need to yell loud enough for your mother in Colorado to hear you without the technology. Indoor voice, darling.
•A jog for a first date in the winter...bad idea. Maybe during Cherry blossom time...maybe. Assuming the chick is fit and let's be honest....this is AU we're talking about so that's as likely as correctly formatted rants.
•True that to the long distance relationship comment. Absolutely the single dumbest thing a person can do while in college. #regretslaterinlife
•private school kids
•Dear "#richgirlproblems" whose trust fund hasn't come in yet, Some of us actually have to do something I'm sure you're not aware of called "work" to get our money instead of waiting around for someone else's money to come in. Here's some advice while you're waiting, get some real problems. Sincerely, Everyone
•Dear fellow biddies, let's save our biddie-ing for the weekend. I have to study for finals.
•So I deactivated my Facebook in order to have to distractions during finals and with the multiple papers I have due..... and yet, I've spent all my time I'd normally spend on Facebook on EagleRants.... #procrastinationproblems
•@Person in American Political Parties Class ranting about a girl in there class: omg there's a girl like that in my World Politics class. I want to bang my head on my desk whenever she asks a question (i.e. rambles on forever without making a point with far too many likes and ums)
•@Girl who doesn't want us to have a football team because of bro-y jocks: Newsflash. AU has them, just enjoy their (well some of them) hotness and don't talk to them.
•To the person who called out frat boys as unintelligent. In spring 2011 the average Fraternity man had a higher gpa than a non-affiliated male. In fact, my gpa rose while I pledged. Don't hate.
•@I hope the students complaining about events in Katzen aren't scholarship students: How are a private (elementary-middle) school fair, a wedding, and a magazine release related to scholarship donors? You're crazy if you think every event held there is related to AU. They rent to building out to PRIVATE functions and don't tell students when these events are happening.
•We beat St. Joe's in basketball!!! Maybe we'll have a spectator sport's team to root for after all(sorry, elite wrestling program, not as good of a spectator sport)!!!
•Confused by eye contact. What does it mean??!! I'm worried that I've accidentally been flirting with people because of my type of eye contact.
•You know what I want? Editor rants.
•Someone Like You by Adele has 25 plays on my iTunes right now, those are all from the last 3 days
•Every floor of the library has specifications as far as volume limit, accepting phone calls etc. But honestly, I just want to know where I can fart freely. #realtalk
•Sitting with an adjunct professor and wondering who her "famous daughter that acts in Hollywood" is? Does anyone know?
•I'm beginning to wonder if you'll ever tell me if you like me too.
•I'm studying abroad in London this semester, and its been amazing. But I am so, so ready to be back in D.C.
•@SORRYNOTSORRY: It's "YOU'RE." And "In all." Get your slobby grammar checked out.
•@"If Greece defaults on their debt, what does that mean for Greek Life!?!": Is this an actual serious question...?
•@"You're a crazy psycho": Is it really necessary to call someone "fat" as an insult?
•@person from arkansas: if you don't pronounce it ar-ken-saw... how do you say it?
•Winter Break: #OccupyMomsKitchen Write ALL the papers? :(
•Ugh, my iPod keeps cutting off songs before they finish and I have no idea why. They play fine on my computer. /firstworldproblems For once, a yay!rade: THANK YOU, PROFESSOR, FOR MOVING BACK THE DUE DATE FOR OUR FINAL PAPER. YOU ARE MY FAVORITE.
•To the person who is complaining about the Dav not having soy milk: I'm a vegan and proud customer of the Dav - they run out sometimes, and that it is OK... that's what happens when you're the best coffee shop (or any place) on campus and EVERYONE goes there. All the time. Nonstop. It happens.
•I will take your 29 pages and raise you 43 pages. And it's only Tuesday.
•You know what I wish we had more of? Petty, shallow, pedantry to read in the Eagle Rants. It just seems to be lacking
•That awesome moment when two of the rants apply to you floor...
•YES! MEMES! Someone in Leonard has a trollface in their window. I want to meet them!!
•"Ohhhhh my gooood! Im awake!" "Wow! Im awake too! This is awesome!"
•@ "jogging as a first date" responses. We both run, and at times I feel like it would be a good idea, but i prob wont end up doing it. there are better options out there. btw, did any of you guys read the other answers? your opinions varied from one extreme to the next haha.
•On the subject of favorite memes, mine's Forever Alone. Because it's true. And funny. Just in case you were wondering.
•@"That awkward moment where a guy keeps inviting you over to watch movies when you aren't interested." AMEN. If I wasn't absolutely sure I had not written this, I would have thought I wrote it.
•My day has been horrible, but I just realized that I am so thankful for all that I have in my life, I have no right to be sad.
•@#winning...I don't believe you.
•All of the people ranting about Eaglesecure probably never experienced the 8th Circle of Hell that Eaglenet used to be. I enjoy not having to watch all of my netflix in 30 second increments this semester.
•What events that thank those who donors? Sure there are some but most are private events that have no connection to the university. It's not that AU hosts events in Katzen, it's that the students are never told when these events are going to happen and are turned away from their rightful practice/work/study space without warning.
•@jog on first date I think it's fine to ask her to go on a jog with you, assuming you know that she enjoys jogging or you have talked about jogging with her and she has expressed interest in trying it out with you. Otherwise, she may take it to mean that you think she is fat and needs to exercise.
•The Eagle doesn't publish anonymous columns anymore? Why not? No wonder we have no frickin sex column. Let the person who wants to write an anonymous sex column do it! Eagle is not in a position to be turning down eager writers. And it's not like he (or she) will be anonymous to the Eagle staff? No anonymous sex columns? Sheesh what is the world coming to? Who is going to volunteer to write a sex column in their real name? NO ONE. Get with it Eagle. [Editor’s note: The writers of the sex column this fall and last year both used their real names. The lack of anonymity was not a deterrent for them.]
•Dear girl worried you are his booty call: If his facebook doesn't list you as his girlfriend and you are hooking up with him, you're his booty call.
•@"You're wrong to have a long distance relationship" Sorry you're jealous that your long distance relationship didn't work out while other people's did. I've been in a wonderful long distance relationship for 4 years now. 4 more years to go while as my bf just started med school. And I have no doubt at all that we will make it.
•@"All the normal people who read these" First off, it's sad that you pride yourself on being "normal". Have fun with your average life. Secondly, actually eagle rants were created exactly for relationship issues and policy debates. Get a clue.
•That time where you think you might be pregnant during finals...EFF my life.
•@AU students graduate with the MOST DEBT IN DC.AU IS NOT DOING ENOUGH." You need to work on understanding correlation vs causation. AU could be giving out tons more financial aid than GW and Georgetown but if Georgetown and GW and filled with more upper class students who don't need financial aid whereas at AU there are more middle class students, then that puts more strain on AU.
•@ AU doesn't do enough: You are wrong. Props to AU for accepting a financially diverse student population, when they could easily just select the rich kids and no longer be called the number one highest debt college in DC.
•Women needs to quit trying to make the marginalized male population from conforming to their standards.
•@"My career as an undergrad will be ending in 9 days, and somehow I've made it out of college without writing a paper longer than 10 pages. #winning" You must be a business major.
•@guy needing good first date idea: Do to the botanical garden down by the capital building. It's free. It's super romantic. And it's all decked out with holiday decorations!
•WHY CAN I NO LONGER TAKE GEN-ED COURSES PASS/FAIL?
•I am writing a paper and every time I finish half a page I reward myself with a Christmas song. :)
•@Aspiring drag queen: Athena's on facebook, friend her!
•i didn't hate AU until they got new academic regulations. NOW I NEVER WANT TO RETURN FROM ABROAD OMG.
•This I feel like is a legitimate complaint, why doenst AU have a Fall/Spring Fest type weekend, or day, where we bring a cool musical act to campus, and have them perform on the quad? Plenty of other schools have this, and it seems awesome.
•I keep seeing rants that sound exactly like they could be my ex and getting mildly concerned....
•If you came from North/Upstate NY to DC, you have NO right to complain about the lack of snow. Did you not realize you were going SOUTH?
•dear x & y...good luck
•Dear boyfriend, I love you very much, but it is time for you to do some "oh-my-gosh thanks for putting up with me" loving. I would like it to come in the form of home-made chocolate chip cookies. Sincerely, Your Overly Supportive Girlfriend
•lol the poor kid wondering about the jogging date is probably more confused than ever...
•@AUConservative: I feel like that sometimes but I hail from liberal NJ so I'm used to it.
•I have major, major issues with my professor right now. Like built-up, long-term, legitimate resentment. I'm not an angry person, either.
•12 days of the holidays at the phonathon = LOTS OF BONUS BUCKS!!!
•Can we talk about the unobservant AU students at the intersection of New Mexico and Nebraska for a minute??? When the traffic across Nebraska stops, it DOES NOT automatically mean it's your turn to cross to and from SIS and the Nebraska Parking lot. If you didn't notice, there is now a garage at SIS and those people have right of way for about 10 seconds before your stupid people get to cross the street. PLEASE PAY ATTENTION. Walking when there isn't a walk sign doesn't make you an acclimated DCist; in this case, it makes you an idiot! Seriously!
•@"Looking for a nice Jewish girl. A nice one. A cute smiley one" - You're looking for every single brother in AEPi ;)
•Are there no boys out there who like a cute chubby girl? I've been slaving away at the gym, but nothing :[
•You led me on, I kinda fell for you, and now you just want to be my "friend"? If only I could change your mind...
•#myholidaystyle ~ DIP MA HOUS~ MA RYDE~ ERYTHAN I HAV~ ERYTHAN AZ FAR AZDA EYE CAN C~ DIPT IN GOLE~ DIP DA HOEL WORLE IN GOLE ~ #MARYXMAS ~
•That awkward moment when it turns out that I'm smarter than the OIT guy who's trying to help me solve a tech issue.
•I want to do naughty things with my TA. Let it be known.
•Is it bad that I really want a girlfriend to go on springbreak with? And that this is actually bugging right now? :/
•Thank you AU for putting hazardous metal bars and AC's near my bed so that every time I move or try to get comfortable I hurt myself.
•Why is it so hard to approach a beautiful girl who is always surrounded by a group of people. #shyfreshman
•@Beware the Jabber WONK... can we be friends? I just died laughing.
•Well buddy, you whined about wanting someone to write a rant about you, so here you are. Your very own eagle rant because this is how much I lub uuu
•stop complaining about stupid stuff. i hate bad rants!!!
•@person who loves AU and dislikes complainers who like to complain for no reason ...do you know who I am? Do you know my story? No...so back off, dude and don't judge. -person who dislikes people who like to judge other people after hearing something vague
•Ya know, in the scheme of things, so I get some "average" grades, I'm still going to bake some really delicious cookies for my kids some day.
•@"Take some Midol and get over yourself": Good for you that you don't have hormone issues! Some of us (actually a lot of us- you'd be surprised) have any number of a plethora of medical problems that cause intense emotional imbalance during "that time." We are trying our best not to annoy you while we are going crazy on the inside, so please don't demonize us. Just because YOUR body doesn't react the way other people's do doesn't mean everyone else is faking. -Take Some Midol For Your Attitude
•That awkward moment when you realize that Elian Gonzalez is no longer a cute little boy, but an extremely attractive adult.
•According to wikipedia, Neil Kerwin made $1.4 million in 2007-2008. He drives his car to campus every day and DOESN'T HAVE TO PAY FOR PARKING. Meanwhile, students who are being put thousands of dollars in debt and campus workers who make meager hourly wages have to pay exorbitant amounts of money in order to park a car on or near campus. Really, Kerwin? You can't spare 350 bucks a semester out of your one and a half million dollar salary? [Editor’s note: To make the record clear, Kerwin doesn’t have a $1.5 million salary. Kerwin made $760,774 in 2008, which included his $480,609 base compensation, plus deferred compensation, health benefits, etc. In 2007, the Chronicle of Higher Education reported that Kerwin made $1.4 million, which included a $600,000 salary and other compensation. About $800,000 of that compensation was a portion of Kerwin’s earnings that were placed in a trust in 2000 when he was provost. He couldn’t withdraw any of those funds until he had served nine years with AU.]
•@Nicholas Kristof is god - No. He reported that 400,000 people died in Darfur when the number is actually closer to 70,000. Maybe he is god of sensational journalism?
•What did the chemist say when he found two isotopes of Helium? Hehe [Editor’s note: Lovin’ these jokes!]
•Cute guy in the library... (please don't be a freshman, please don't be a freshman, please don't be a freshman!)
•I'm sorry Subway sandwich guy for having my feet on the chair that you needed. I was so uncomfortable any other way and I thought my friend would come back and take that seat :(
•THESE ACADEMIC RULES ARE ABSOLUTE CRAP! SG GET INVOLVED NOW TO REPEAL THESE. GEN EDS NO LONGER PASS FAIL? SERIOUSLY!
•I heard that every time Old Man Kerwin needs a pickle jar or something opened, he calls Nick Rangos to help
•Mixed signals are the devil.
•Dear AU, We would like to have our Naked Juice option back. Sincerely, I-pay-you-more-than-45k.
•What / where is the tumblr for AU memes??
•Have to say it, Letts 5 north is the loudest, most obnoxious floor. There is this one kid with this big smile though, he seems so cute. So if you're gay, find me (:
•Will the real slim shady please stand up?
•#Occupyvendingmachine: nothing of value in Nebraska hall vending machine. SADFACE SADFACE SADFACE
•Occupy Eagle Rants! Occupy Eagle Rants! Occupy Eagle Rants! Occupy Eagle Rants! Occupy Eagle Rants! Occupy Eagle Rants! ... This is what democracy looks like?
•You are the Santana in my life. Except your a dude.
•*you're a dude.
•Its 3:17 on Wednesday! Where are todays eagle rants! RAWR!
•double spaced? I wrote 15 single spaced pages last night alone. get at me.
•Dear people sitting behind me in the Sky Lounge: we are quietly doing our homework on one side of the room. You are on the other side making sheep noises instead of studying. I know that this isn't the quiet floor, but please keep it down.
•Dear Stat Professor, I would like to take this time to thank you for your obvious lack of respect for your students. Also, I really appreciate how unprofessional it was of you to fall asleep during my group's presentation. Thanks Again, Glad This Class is Almost Over
•So my genius grad school gives us zero days break between spring and summer terms and a 4 week break between summer and fall terms. In what world does that make sense? Way to screw over everyone in long distance relationships. F U
•Eagle Rants have gotten so less substantive since they've gone to daily... I mean I obviously still read them religiously but still... I think we need to go back to the weekly Rants.
•Is there a person on this campus who is interested in national politics but is NOT a poli-sci/SPA major?
•Couple I'm sharing a table with at the library: please, for the love of everything, stop kissing every other second.
•Thank you person who turned in my ID to Public Safety. I really appreciate it!
•If something's upsetting you and you don't want to talk, please just say that. I won't make you talk. But giving me the cold shoulder and just leaving makes me feel like I did something wrong. I understand needing your space but theres no need to be rude.
•I don't like Lady Gaga....bring it
•Occupy the Phonathon!!!
•its 7pm and there are no new rants for today. what am i suppose to do at phonathon now??
•Rants should have their own Twitter; just think reading new rants all throughout the day!
•That awkward moment when you know that the medicine you took earlier isn't doing a damn thing to help you feel better, but you're afraid to take another dose because you've still got hours left until the last dose expires.
•@Anti football girl What makes you think that all "jocks" (read: athletes) can't think with their brains, and thus use their fists? Clearly you are as close-minded as the imaginary jocks you fear.
•M, I've fallen out of love with you. ~D
•rain rain go away that's what all my haters say
•OMG some one here plays roller coaster tycoon and MATH!!!!!??? my dream has come true! There is a God/Jesus
•where are the december 7th rants?! u guys are taking way too long..
•did rants stop being a daily thing on the website? it's dark out and i don't see any new rants... step your game up, eagle! [Editor’s note: These eaglets have finals and work and internships too. Please be patient.]
•Giant Orgy
•Why are you withholding the rants from us? Its December 7th at 21:35:20 pm. Post the damn rants already. Goddamn.
•The 1% must control the weather. What else could explain the storm on December 7th happening on the same day that Occupy AU went down to K Street?
•Ah my friend, when I am writing my paper and you are singing loudly and I ask you nicely to stop, it is generally frowned upon for you to start making an equally loud sound of a different sort not five minutes AFTER I asked you to quiet down. I am not a mean person, I'm just trying to get my facts straight about the Rwandan Civil War and you're not helping.
•WHY ARE THERE NO DECEMBER 7TH EAGLE RANTS??? MY LIFE IS RUINED!
•No eagle rants on December 7th?? Sad day :(
•All I want is to literally have one week of break and to come back. I am -200% excited for home. After the first week, I will be crying myself to sleep every night wishing for mid-January to come faster. I guess I should be thankful enough to be able to come back. As for all of those out there that cannot come back because of family/financial problems, I have tremendous sympathy for you. Hang in there. Hope you'll all be back.
Rant here!
