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Sunday, Dec. 21, 2025
The Eagle

Eagle Rants Dec. 2

•@WTF is up with people at AU wearing sweatshirts from other colleges??!- You must: A) Have no friends at any other school B) Not realize that the only thing we have to identify ourselves with is the oh so hated WONK campaign (which most people would prefer to have their eyes poked several times with sticks, than do) or C) Be very, very dim witted

•I dont understand, is it really that hard for people to find significant others? Joining a college-dating website seems a bit extreme

•@person with lupus, I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through this tough time. I hope you get the support you need and the downtime with fun people that you deserve.

•What happened to the editor's notes? Please bring back the editor's notes, Madame Editor. [Editor’s note: Some days this editor is merely uninspired.]

•@Psychological experiment: I hope a chandelier falls on you. Don't be a dick.

•@Not everything is a personal attack: Sorry about the strong response. Finals weeks stress.

•My monthly trust fund check is late. WTF. #richgirlproblems

•I used to read these rants to make me laugh but now all seem to be are passive aggressive attacks or complaining. Maybe it's the workload this time of year but come on! Lighten up. -Bring on the funny rants

•4th floor biddie: When I first met you, I really thought we had an instant connection. There was something about the way we interacted; I liked what you had to say, and enjoyed you're somewhat obnoxious laugh. I know you may not have felt that way in return, and I know that we haven't really spoken in the last few weeks, but I can assure you that if you give this thing a chance, it'll work out. Try me. And if you don't know who I am, then you certainly will in the near future. Your Friend, Anonymous

•@Lupus ranter, as someone with a chronic illness, I’m sorry. This is probably a difficult transition, but your friends sound like they have good intentions (even if misguided). When you are ready, try to be open and honest with them. If they are true friends, they will believe and support you. It may be awkward at first, as they may not know how to treat this new development, but help them to understand that you are still you. Also, realize that dealing with such an obstacle (and staying in school with it) is amazing and only strengthens your character.

•@Creepy Grad Student: Luckily, he was preoccupied with some other innocent bystander on the shuttle; I got to meet him when I was trying to do homework at a coffee place. But he did the same exact thing, he got my first and last name so he could find me on facebook and now I can't get coffee at my favorite place anymore because he's ALWAYS THERE.

•Eagle rant editor! the formatting has been a little off lately and now today you post my rant with another person's so it sounds like i want a cute hipster guy! no offense to the hipsters, they're just not my style. please fix it? [Editor’s note: How do I know which Rant was yours?]

•Seen: a hot, muscular hall president walking from the gym. SO. DAMN. SEXY.

•No internet. No homework. No sitting next to your friend = 3.5 hours of pissing off broke alumni for bank

•To the girl in Letts who let her laptop get stolen: YOU ARE EXTREMELY STUPID. I know you were probably afraid he'd pull a knife or something, but let me tell you something: insurance will simply laugh at your case if you expect any money for your stolen item. You shouldn't have told public safety you woke up. You'll never get it back anyway. - someone who's roommate let their laptop get stolen

•Dear ranter who claimed "East Timor was NOT a genocide" - you are wrong. Well over 100,000 died, including both Timonese AND ethnic Chinese, many of them starved to death, many of them unarmed citizens, many of them killed for no reason other than their race - and you say it wasn't genocide? Get some perspective, dude. Read about Cambodia, read the Genocide Convention, put two and two together, and get back to me.

•@ Vintage fur argument person who said, "So sad that you don’t understand this basic concept." Maybe you're not the one who doesn't understand. If there was a protest to ban sales of fur, the people who want it don't go away, and neither do the people wanting to make a pretty penny. #blackmarket?

•Type your rant here!to the cranky editorial reader -Try to read the article, it clearly endorsed wearing fur -Fur IS expensive in addition to being cruel. All the more reason why that article was ridiculous -Don't be a dismissive jerk. There are more people who see fur a serious, real problem than you think

•to "fur is a joke": its not. stop being a tool

•At kid with lupus: I have a chronic diagnosis as well. I'm an AU alum and currently a grad student at another school. Even though I knew my ticker was ticking, my days at AU were filled with so many amazing memories. Take advantage of all the wonderful events going on each day on campus. Take advantage of the museums and historic sites in DC. Things could be worse for you. You are fortunate enough to have a college education at a wonderful school. Most people in the world never have that opportunity.

•@ Teachers "suck" not "sucked" sarcastic grammar ranter. Referring to high school teachers using 'suck' is not incorrect. Perhaps, they still continue to suck today, rather than ceasing to suck after the student went away to college....

•I'm sorry I called you at 4 AM and woke you up, only to yell at you for not calling me that day. I'm sorry I accused you of not trying in our relationship and of not loving me. I'm sorry I made you feel like all my friends hate you. I'M SORRY. If you only knew how much I loved you and how much I would do for you. I just want to feel like you feel the same way.

•@Dear roommate - I wish that you could fall out of your play pretend roller coaster and explode. My judge's podium doesn't need to be higher than your amusement park's rides for me to look down on you, because its simply more important! PS: you are not a free person. You are enslaved to the shackles of society's opinions. I am free. Sincerely, - in a hopeful place.

•Sexiled at 5 on a Thursday when the research for the paper I wanted to work on instead of going out tonight is in my room :[

•Someone I know: Changing sheets is a SANITARY practice, not doing so is merely a way to build germs and all sorts of nasty things that regularly inhabit your body. I mean if you want to spend the entire year getting sick FROM THE SAME GERMS be my guest but seriously it's kind of disgusting.

•@ILikeTDRCookieJars I sing that too!!!!!!

•Why is everyone here obsessed with cats?

•Even though its forty degrees out, thank God for all the hot women with nice legs still wearing miniskirts.

•People forcing their anti-fur agenda on other in the anonymous Rant section make me want to buy fur. Lots and lots of fur...

•@annoying drama kids in Katzen: to address your first point regarding my post, I am involved in the arts at AU as well (just not theater). I appreciate the arts and their beautiful diversity. Your lines, however, sounded overworked in their delivery and, honestly, quite laughable. It's almost enough to deter me from paying to see a play here at AU ever again. As for your point on my grammar, I will admit my mistake, and I am quite embarrassed. But hey, it happens once every few years or so.

•i think i made a mistake when i said that i thought it was a bad idea for us to get back together. i miss you so much.

•I hate it when my World Politics professor calls on me to answer a question someone else asked about the region I've been studying. Each time, I don't expect it and each time I sound stupid since it takes me several minutes to formulate a good response but I'm only given like two seconds in lecture. There's a reason I don't participate in class discussion...

•Man, these AU goggles are getting so thick, even the squirrels are lookin like babes

•There are never forks at TDR, you have to walk around for like 10 minutes looking for a fork everytime you want to eat

•To the 6 people sitting in the laundry room eating chicken and doing homework: this is a LAUNDRY ROOM. Not a lounge. You are blocking all the machines, making my clothes smell like chicken, getting in the way and generally being awkward. Leave.

•"Oh hey, it's the end of the semester, I should assign a long paper, group project, and have some quizzes."-Every Professor

•I once had a thing for a socialist...

•Who is this person playing Roller Coaster Tycoon? I want to get to know you!

•um. yes. that's exactly what I suggest. The fact that you call it a system is just kinda...pathetic too.

•@“Also that kind of horror at the Holocaust Museum” respondee: I fully agree with you about a watered-down version, believe me I am very, very firm about people being historically aware. It's just... save things like Dr. Mengele for later years.

•We know you are from Panama, just like we knew from the first day we met you, now stop telling us about PANAMA, you're here at AU and not in Panama so get outside the bubble of Panama!

•@Utonian: No problem, I'm the first to leap to the defense of Utah and all its natural beauty. See Bryce Canyon and Zion National Park and THEN tell me how boring and ugly of a state Utah is. And for the last time polygamy is practiced by fundamentalist Mormon communities that exist in their own separate areas away from the more liberal urban areas like Salt Lake City, it does pay to be informed about such matters non-Utonians...

•I wear other school's sweatshirts because the best thing about AU is the Rants. And that's a reflection of the school...

•i hooked up w a grad student...and i kinda liked it :)

•Dance & Society is a great class. False.

•People-watching in Tavern has got to be one of the best things ever.

•That awkward moment when you and your friend make a bet about when your other friend will finally realize they are gay and come out.....

•Occupy Anderson Hall: We want the President! But really, a lot of us want him realllly bad ;)

•That moment when the formatting of eagle rants somehow adds another person's random song lyrics that are totally not applicable to the front of your rant.

•Dear rude person on the second floor of the library, Do not talk on your cell phone! I don't care if you whisper- everyone can still hear you. It's called the quiet floor for a reason! Sincerely, Frustrated and sleep-deprived student who has a large project due tomorrow morning

•Dear nosenseofcommunity- I will wear my University of Michigan t-shirt with pride. I have no reason to support a university that doesn't have a football team by buying a ridiculously overpriced t-shirt. Sincerely -A football team is a better idea than Wonk

•Oh my God. The hamburgers in TDR for dinner on December 1 were SOOO good. For once, I felt that the $16 swipe was worth it.

•My resolution for 2011 was to "not go out of 2011 the same way I went out of 2010; desperately single." It is now December 2, and it looks like I will spend another New Years Eve alone. 3 Maybe I should just give up on girls

•In school, I was always taught to put two spaces in between my sentences. Does no one else do that?! [Editor’s note: Putting two spaces between sentences came around during the typewriter era because it was difficult to tell one sentence from another. Now that we’re in the computer era, it’s a thing of the past.]

•I'm up at 5AM because I can't manage my time. I recognize that this is my fault; I don't appreciate that I have to listen to you complain about your equally shitty time management skills every time I talk to you. If you're so damn upset with school and work and classes, don't come back next semester. It's a real privilege to be here, to be getting all the opportunities AU provides - I wish more people could start to see that.

•The Sun will come out tomorrow...love the man with the stuffed dog

•If you are a professor and assign a book, and then for the second half of the semester assign readings that are online, why assign the book at all? Thanks for wasting my money, dick.

•Silver Bells, Silver Bells~ It's Christmas time in the city!

•You tell me its good to care about everything, but you're wrong. I think it's better to tell myself to not care about what others think of me, to not let their opinions sway me, to know that what I think about myself is more important. I'm going to stop caring about what your friends think of me, because I'm tired of being upset that they don't like me. I don't what to change because of what they think of me.

•I feel like I'm losing myself in you, like who I was and what I wanted are being eroded. I miss being stable and feeling strong.

Rant here!



Section 202 hosts Connor Sturniolo and Gabrielle McNamee are joined by fellow Eagle staff member and phenomenal sports photographer, Josh Markowitz. Follow along as they discuss the United Football League and the benefits it provides for the world of professional football.


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