•I'm a smart, decent looking single guy on campus, why is it so hard to find a girlfriend for me then?
•Nick Rangos left for home today... A little part of me died
•@"I highly appreciate the senior that used “zetus Lepetus”" OMG The senior WHO, not the senior THAT. PEOPLE ARE NOT THATs. PLEASE LEARN PROPER PRONOUN USAGE OR GO BACK TO 3rd GRADE.
•@omegle person: I frickin love omegle. I'm on it every day. Why can't I ever find someone who goes to American? #fellowomeglelover
•Have fun getting "time and a half" after law school when you are trying to get hired by a firm. Firms bill by the hour and that time and a half excuse is not going to cut it. They are not going to waste 50% of profits because you want extra time. The world is competitive. Not everyone has IQ in the top 1%. Not everyone can be an astronaut. Find your niche and stop pretending like everyone is equal in ability.
•Eagle rants editor: What is the status of the sex advice column? I have urgent sex questions. Please don't leave me hanging.
•I buy bottled water instead of bottled soda or bottled ‘sugary artificial sweetener and food coloring drinks’. My water bottle is not more destructive to the environment than your soda bottle. Bottled water encourages healthy living. Enviro-nazis: please focus your efforts elsewhere. Like yesterday's ranter said, Why is eco-sense ignoring the fact that gallons of water are needlessly wasted each time someone uses an automatic flush toilet, like the ones all over campus. Eco-sense has yet to even respond to this issue with even so much as a comment.
•I love my long distance boyfriend so much, but if he doesn't propose this Christmas, it's over. I can't handle a long distance phone relationship anymore if I don't know for sure that this is for a purpose.
•This Thanksgiving the thing I am most thankful for is daily Eagle Rants. I LOVE YOU EAGLE!
•Love is dead.
•Eagle Rants editor, are you single?
•Do not ban bottled water. Simply do not drink it and encourage people to do the same. Quit trying to limit everyone's choices.
•For a school supposedly full of them, it sure is hard to find a single, eligible, gay AU student to date. #stillsingle
•Dear person who slid a note under our door alerting us to the squeakiness of our bed springs, Neither my roommate nor I are getting any. That would be our friends next door. We have forwarded your note. It is nice to know that at least in your world our beds are a-rockin'. Sincerely, Single and Sexless
•definitely looking forward to thanksgiving break after a weekend like this one
•Sorry Sams of AU! I didn't mean to give you a heart attack! Don't worry, the Sam I'm talking to knows this is about him (or at least he should). -D
•let's get physical, physical
•My headset for the phonathon has no cushion. My ear is in so much pain. If this isn't a rant worthy situation, I don't know what is.
•@the person telling "home boyfriend/college boyfriend" girl she isn't selfish-- No, actually that's extremely selfish. If each boyfriend knows the other exists and is okay with it, that's one thing, but doing what you're doing is brutally self-serving. I hope somebody does this to you someday.
•Eagle Rants, you are the sunshine of my life and the highlight of each day. Never leave me! I can't live without you!
•Will there be Eagle Rants over Thanksgiving break? [Editor’s note: There will be Rants at least once over break.]
•I Should Have…
I Should have kissed you on your neck I could have and would have too. But I pulled back, hesitated When I heard a little voice go “Ooo!”
I’ve wanted to go out with you for a while I think you already know Without a quiver in my voice, and with a little style I told you months ago
I Should have kissed you on your neck I could have and would have too.
You don’t know the extent of my desire How Strong, How Vile
I pulled back, hesitated When I heard a voice go “Ooo!”
•I Should Have (Con't 1)...
The Passion within me glows A flaming and despairing inferno The highs and lows
I pulled back, hesitated. I could have and would have too.
For your kiss, I yearn and woe For your touch, I burn and glow For your love, my heart flutters and flows
I should have kissed you on your neck When I heard a little voice go “Ooo!”
•I Should Have (Con't 2)...
It daunts me every night My ever lasting plight Always within sight But a goal set at a great height
I pulled back, hesitated. I should have, could have and would have too. I would have kissed you on your neck, When I heard a little voice go “Ooo!”
•I'm going to keep writing poetry, and then post it on Eagle Rants every once in a while. If thats okay with you guys... I just had those two poems I wanted to get out there.
•Dear protesters complaining about being pepper sprayed by the police: You know in 1970 the police SHOT AND KILLED student protesters? Pepper spray is not dangerous, and has not been shown to have long term affects. Stop whining.
•What time, on average, should I expect Eagle Rants to be posted each day? [Editor’s note: No average time a day. Depends on this editor’s classes and workload.]
•I think Eagle Rants editor should be a position voted on by the study body. Not saying the current one isn't going a good job; just saying I would very much like to campaign and run for the position of Eagle Rants editor. ;)
•If you keep treating me like this, I'm going to fall out of love with you. And I don't want that to happen. Please don't break my heart. I'm not a constantly mad person, I just want this issue to be resolved once and for all. Please, let's fix this and move on.
•I really wish there were more graduate classes offered in the summer.
•Can Eagle have issues sections like real newspapers have? We need a women's issues section, a sex advice section, and environmental issues section, and a featured student of the week section. [Editor’s note: Most real newspapers that this editor has heard of have the following section: Sports, Arts & Entertainment, Opinion and local, national and international News. Haven’t heard of a newspaper with a sex section, a women’s section and an environmental section. Perhaps that’s a magazine?]
•I miss that thing Charlie did where he would nominate a top rant each week. One time my rant won top rant, and it basically made my life. BRING BACK "TOP RANT" PLEASE!
•Dear #keepitpositive: If you really want the Bon Appetite workers to be positive maybe you should be positive to them yourself. I say hello, how are you everyday to the worker who swipes people in and even to the people serving food. If you smile at them they smile back.
•Someone better call the wahmublance for all these wheener-whiners
•I wish Delaware had a football team in the NFL. I bet Tim McBride would be all over it.
•Tavern should definitely have some Old Bay to put on the french fries.
•Nate Bronstein rants.
•@#keepitpositive: maybe YOU should smile at the Bon Appetit workers if you're the disgruntled college student ruining your day in the first case. Also, you're not paying THEM $53K a year. You're paying to live in DC and get a great education, not directly paying their salaries. If you were, I'm sure their salaries would be much better than they are. TL:DR? You're a jerk.
•Why do only SIS kids have Gen Eds that fulfill major requirements AND honors credit? And, why do they get some sections of classes all to themselves? Grr face. Stupid SIS-ies
•I should be writing a paper and not eagle ranting... I just can't bring myself to do any work. If this isn't a first world problem I don't know what else is.
•@"Jewish boy"- any time you want :D
•people who tell you that nice guys dont always finish last are lying
•YAY IT's NOT DUE UNTIL WEDNESDAYYYYY!!!!!!!
•It's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything.
•I am proud to go to a school with a large LGBT and I am glad for all the programs and events they have but I'll admit it feels like those events are pretty exclusive and only meant for students that are LGB or T
•No, I am not engaging in intercourse, I am simply attempting to put sheets on my lofted bed.
•If it says I can do it in the Academic Regulations, why are you telling me I can't, CAS Advising Office?
•Honors thanksgiving...the only good thing to come out of hughes in a while...
•Bring back the old kosher box lunches, the new ones suck.
•dear #keepitpositive, #whitegirlproblems. you'll learn one day that wherever you go you'll encounter bad customer service. deal with it.
•Big Brother isn't watching. He's singing and dancing. He's pulling rabbits out of a hat. Big Brother's busy holding your attention every moment you're awake. He's making sure you're always distracted. He's making sure your fully absorbed. - Chuck Palahniuk
•So over this semester... too bad my work load says otherwise... #uselessSundaynightranting
•Wait. WAIT. Are you honestly coming to the library to discuss your relationship problems (I don't see any books or study materials)? May I suggest MGC? Get lost.
•You can have both, ladies. You can indeed have both.
•Letter to the Girl from Ipanema:
(Written September 2011)
Beyond my better judgment and with the possibility of losing you as a friend, I'm writing this letter.
Let me start off by saying this – I like you. You're beautiful. You're fun loving & outgoing. From what I've noticed from hanging out with you (for the short amount of time we have), you seem like a very sweet individual. I'd like to get to know you better. But over the past few weeks, our communication has been infrequent.
•Letter To The Girl from Ipanema (Part 2):
I know you may not feel the same way, but this rare contact I have with you (that pretty much amounts to just seeing each other in Jazz Band) has started to make me quite... depressed to say the least. When I see you, it brightens my day. You have, in essence, become the Girl from Ipanema of my life.
Are you still reading? Good. I'm assuming then you are either laughing
or are slightly uncomfortable (but not freaked out to the point that you'll just stop reading).
•Letter To The Girl From Ipanema (Part 3):
I really don't know what else to say here. But you might be thinking "Why do you like me? We barely know each other." Thats right, we don't know each other that well. But I'd like to get to know you better (and hopefully you'd like to do the same). As to why I like you? I find myself asking the same question. I really don't have an answer to that, but I'd like to think that I'm attracted to your personality.
•Letter To The Girl from Ipanema (Part 4):
Granted, I'm attracted to you physically, but I try not to make that the major reason. If it was the only reason, I would not be writing this to you.
So thats it. Thats my spiel. I just hope I can actually talk to you face to face. I didn't see you at Jazz Band this week which made me a little upset.
(Written September 2011)
•C (Part One)
I think about you every day, C. Its weird but true. I imagine you sitting across from me But your not, which makes me blue
We’ve known each other only for a few days But I don’t think its a problem I asked you if we could go to that club for gays I just hope you don’t think I’m one of them
•C (Part 2):
Twice we tried to meet up and jam Twice we were too tied up I’ve only ever seen you in Jazz Band I feel like an anxiously waiting pup
I’m worried that you don’t like me If you didn’t, it’d be hard not to despair If you liked me, I’d jump up in Glee But would we make a good pair?
•What is this? (To the Music of This Masquerade)
(Verse 1)
What is this, this ever-ending play? Its our life, passing day by day. What’s my line? What words do I say?
I see the lies in your gaze, But the lie is molds together in the haze. Its been lost in our masquerade.
•What is this? (To the Music of This Masquerade)
(Verse 2)
We’ve both been hurt, We’ve both added gasoline to the flame. We both say the other is to blame.
The flame dies down. We reconcile. But then another problem changes the game.
We both can’t find The best winning play.
•What is this? (This Masquerade)
(Verse 3)
When I try to move away, You grab my hand and look deep into my eyes Make me stay, no matter how much I cry.
It makes me weak The outlook’s so bleak I just slump down, tear up, and weep. We’re lost, gone astray, so to speak.
•The girl who got kicked out of the SPAleadership really isn't "inspiring" unless you're inspired by the urge to go out and make yourself smarter after hearing her speak.
•"Dear Bon Appetit workers, Smile. Seriously. I know it must suck to have to cater to apathetic and self-entitled college students all day, but excuse me for thinking that $53K a year should buy me some customer service. Maybe you would be able to get a better job if you had a better attitude." Yeah, because getting a job totally depends on how many smiles you can give.
•If you want to kiss me, just do it. I want to kiss you too..
•Jeez Wikipedia, can't I just look up stuff for classes without having Jimmy Wales's constipated face pop up? kthanx.
•"What" ain't no country I ever heard of! They speak English in What?
•@Dear Bon Appetit workers— They do smile. They are nice. Don't think that because you pay $53K a year you are better than them. Maybe you should smile. It's a two way street.
•If I have to listen to your ceaseless banging on the piano for one more minute of my practice time, I may die. I know, you have the right to practice too... but for the love of god why are those rooms not sound proof?? Neither vocal nor woodwind fortissimo can withstand even the mezzo forte those pianos put out, and I'm sick and tired of those wonderfully full chords demolishing my single line melody. Sincerely, I can't hear myself think.
•@ everyone who complains about who's at the gym : You are the monsters that make overweight girls and insecure freshmen and people who've gotten out of shape terrified to go work out in public and get back in shape. You are the hateful stares that make me feel like I'm not good enough to be there trying to get better. That's nonsense. Everyone is allowed in the gym.
•I can't be your girlfriend, but I love you more than I ever admitted. You're amazing, and I'm so glad you're my best friend. You are one of the best decisions that I ever made.
•Guy who wears your hill intern badge in class, You are a tool. NO ONE is impressed.
•WHEN will AU use our tuition money to deal with REAL issues, like the MGC corner lounge heater that never ceases making a loud ruckus.
•Where all them anti-Breaking Dawn Rants at?
•To Mr.Ramen Noodles: Thank you for an entertaining shuttle ride back to campus this past Saturday night. You have some really great friends- even if you can't remember their names. Your Fan, Sober Audience
•Tim McBride needs to get over himself. People are fantasizing about him just because he's in a position of power. There are people who actually like him but he's too caught up with freshman girls obsessing over him.
•PROCRASTINATION
•@Jewish boy who wants to do activities: yes. - jewish girl who wants to do activities :)
•tights are not pants.
•Today in conversations overheard out of context: "I had to go in for another circumcision."
•I'm amused by all the people at AU who are becoming interested in a Jewish/Christian relationships... I've never found one religion to be more attractive than another, but, good on you guys for exploration :)
•I saw Nick Rangos at a party with a hottie... You go girl!!!
•oh god. I just remembered that this week is thanksgiving, and that means there won't be eagle rants on thursday. or friday!? NOOOO. Editor, I know you warned me of this in October, assuring me there will be epic rants on monday, but I don't think I can handle this. No, I can't handle this!!!!!!
Rant here!
