[Editor’s note: Yo, dudes, chill out. Sometimes the formatting of Rants gets messed up. We are not intentionally putting Rants in paragraph form; sometimes it just happens and we’re not sure why. We try to fix it right away, but aren’t always aware of the problem. Breathe. Bullets are here to stay. Today's "Rant here" box is causing problems, so go to yesterday's page to Rant.]
•It breaks my heart to see people drinking bottled water. Did you know that the bottles often sit in super hot trucks? That means the plastic melts into the water. Yum! Also, if you do accidentally drink bottled water. Recycle it!
•Dear: “Why do all the good guys have girlfriends??? She’s not here and I am. break up already. pleaseee.” Oh give me a break. You are the definition of selfish. Long distance relationships are hard, but they are usually the product of genuine feelings. I very much doubt that a desperate girl, like yourself, is worth throwing that away for. Also: capitalize.
•@ The phone relationship person, I know exactly where you are coming from. I don't think I can do my long distance relationship much longer either. It's not called the turkey drop for nothing.
•How can one best describe the horrid stench of the tunnel between North and South side? I believe Freakazoid said it best, "I don't want to go down in that sewer. It smells like poo gas." Seriously, can we do something about that?
•Oh, please. You two were not "taking a nap" with your pants off.
•To: Everyone that complains about the Occupy movement. What is wrong with demanding a comprehensive progressive tax system in a first world country? From: An avid Occupier
•WHY IS EAGLESECURE'S SAFECONNECT NOT LETTING ME ACCESS THOUGHTCATALOG?! I DON'T WANT TO GO TO THE AMERICAN.EDU HOME PAGE!!!!!
•@"are the eagle rant editors that busy that they can no longer edit the rants? id happily do this task for you."--Notice the irony of this?
•Unreadable rants, Batman!
•Sometimes the best intentions are in need of redemption, don't you agree?
•My poor roommate, he was cursed to live with a slob. I wish I had the motivation to actually keep my side clean. Why must he be so damn nice about it?! Makes the guilt worse. Signed, mess of a roommate.
•Dear the Doors are 60's anyways,
Don't make me resort to blasting Finnish shouting music. I'm that kind of crazy.
The new format of rants. No. No. No.
•the latest Eagle snafu: size 8 Rants. As if looking at a computer screen all day didn't hurt my eyes enough.
•Is it just me, or is the Nov 18 rants page a bit...wonky?
•AU's SafeConnect fails to connect safely.
•Oh GOD THE HUMANITY! PLEASE PAY CAREFUL ATTENTION TO THE FORMATTING BEFORE YOU HIT THE POST BUTTON. I ALREADY HAVE BAD EYE SIGHT AND CAN BARELY READ THESE RANTS. SERIOUSLY. THIS IS THE ONLY PART OF THE PAPER I READ. Except for Alex Knepper's anti-sex brigade article or the one page length rant about someone who got their bike stolen back in 2009. (Btw. how do you get your own page length rant like that?)
•I'd like to give whoever decided to take away formatting of the rants a golden shower. Either that or just defecate on their head.
•The bottled water policy is counterproductive. It will save zero plastic and will only cause people to buy plastic bottles of soda instead of plastic bottles of water, which will exacerbate the obesity and health problems our nation faces. Stop focusing on nonissues. It makes the whole environmental movement look stupid. Why don't you get rid of the automatic flush toilets in MGC which flush 10 times every time I take a poop.
•@whoever pulled the fire alarm in mgc/tdr today I hate you. I had a half hour window for lunch and I ate like 2 bites of salad. Please die a slow painful death.
•To the girl who reads Parenting Magazine in class: I read Parents magazine. I love looking up baby names and thinking about my future kids. We should be friends, and we can talk about baby stuff together.
•Eaglerants in paragraph form? Please no, it's impossible to read and isn't worth it.
•Even if you get rid of editing on Eagle Rants, could you go back to separating them into bullets with space between? Trying to read the whole paragraph makes my eyes and my brain hurt
•No one should be down all-nighters. Also, "then they were there and their cats are greater than they're" Did not one teach you people English?
•[Editor’s note: We’re no longer editing for grammar, stle, etc. Y’all can do that yourselves.] "style" Obviously, you're not editing your own responses either. SHBAMM!
•I'm really sad my roommate is moving out, but I'll always love her like a sister
•Disregard my rant about the formatting. Maybe it was my browser before.
•FINE EDITOR, I guess President Rangos can't marry me. We'll all just be his concubines then :b
•I love racist/discriminatory jokes. And I feel like I'll offend even white people if I were to say one. AU's student body is so tight assed. WIth its feminists, LGBT, disabled, colored, latino, asian, muslim, arab, religious, and political groups who advocate to crucify discriminatory people. I'm not discriminatory, but I like to tell a black/mexican/gay/sexist/religious/political/disabled joke every once in a while. Jesus.
•tdr thanksgiving last night was sooo good! #nomnom
•@Gentile- Usually I don't go for goyim but I'll make an exception if you're a good cuddler.
•For the few hours before it was fixed, seeing the rants as a jumbled, gigantic, unformatted cluster was, while unreadable, perhaps a more apt way of presenting them.
•Sam, stopping ranting about me to annoy me :P
•During rush hour, there was super heavy traffic today and the closest AU shuttle couldn't make it to its spot. It let its passengers off early and I noticed, so I ran over and jumped on. I was the only one who did. The bus did not stop for more passengers. I won't lie, I laughed manically as we drove past.
•@ "Yes, I read Parenting Magazine during class." Maybe people are judging the fact that you're wasting class time, and your tuition money, reading a magazine... Classes are boring sometimes. But some of us (a lot of us) suck it up. I am sad that you are able and planning to procreate.
•The chewbacca noises stopped because it is annoying and our floor hates it...
•Call me crazy, but I'm thinking the SHOWER is where the leg-shaving needs to remain. Not the bathroom sink. Ew.
•Dear AmLit, I know you had your release party today (Friday, 11/18/11). Usually you guys are pretty good at distributing the magazine around campus after the release party is over. However,I did not see a single one anywhere. I was so looking forward to reading it during work.
•Why can't I have a college boyfriend and a home boyfriend? I want something new yet I want that sense of security. I'm selfish.
•I like Phi Mu girls. There's something very sexy about them.
•I feel better about myself when I don't eat, but I know it's wrong.
•I am not ready for the future and it's more terrifying than i thought it would be
•My boyfriend of 3 years is ignoring my texts. I'm scared. :(
•Dear roomie, Please admit that you and your good friend/hook-up buddy are dating. The denials are getting tiresome and you two are cute together - there's nothing to hide!
•girl in nov. 17th rant who responded to my texting rant...thanks for the advice :) i guess i just assumed most girls were good at texting, and it through me off
•Da**it Mom! I WANT A JEDI MARIACHI BAND!!!!
•Dear Honors, How is it possible that Honors can not only make all students living in Hughes look pretentious and make south side hate us, but also ruin cake??? Quit putting the crap on the inside of the cake! It makes it soggy and gross. Please stop. Thanks, Honors students that relieve you of your cake problem after dinners
•i'd be really interested to know how many of these come from phonathoners compulsively hitting refresh throughout the shift waiting for the day's eagle rants. congrats rants god, you've successfully turned the entire phonathon into crack addicts!!
•ALL OVER THE WORLD! ALL OVER THE WORLD! ALL OVER THE WORLD!
•i'm sorry i don't want to see you again. you seemed nice, but you ended up puking for most of the night and when you weren't throwing up you were only focused on getting me back to your room cause your roommate wasn't there. not exactly the first date i was looking for.
•you can judge me for my 10 AM walk of shame, but i'm judging you for rolling a keg down the hallway. if you couldn't finish it last night i would have gladly helped.
•Actual econ major here: Yes, it is true that Coca Cola might have to make some layoffs if we all stop buying Dasani. But the money that we don't spend on Dasani will likely be spent on something else, thus helping a different company expand its workforce. The net effect on unemployment probably would be zero.
•Re: "You know you don't get 'time and a half' in the real world right?" This may blow your mind, but some students have documented disabilities and need extra time. They might even work for compassionate, understanding employers "in the real world" who happily accommodate their needs. Keep your ignorant, condescending attitude to yourself next time.
•@After three months at AU, I’ve discovered I’m super attracted to Jewish boys. Can I have a nice Jewish boy to date?' This. I know exactly how you feel!
•I admit it, I take the elevator to the 2nd floor sometimes. I only do it when no one else is around and I've had a hard day. Before you severely judge, maybe consider that I'm just really tired and want a break..geez.
