•I was looking forward to Thanksgiving break where I could sleep in and do nothing all day, but then I remembered I'd be visiting family with small children. How does a 6-year-old find the energy to wake up at 6 a.m. every day?!
•"Is it just me or do an abnormal amount of girls have mustaches at American? It’s gross. Look in the mirror and deal with it because people aren’t staring because of your beautiful face."
•Simple answer: wonkiness increases testosterone and worsens visual perception.
•@Needs artsy friends: We artsy people need to stick together! I propose some sort of meeting at Katzen so we can all paint or something cool.
•@"Who the heck from Ohio listens to Korean Pop????”
•Me, obviously, lol. Actually, even the small-towns in Ohio that I lived in always had one or two Kpop fans at the very least —if not there was always room for converts.
•@The YG Family fan — I love Big Bang and 2NE1!!! Where is this mystical Kpop zone of which you speak? And is there any chance that you would be willing to watch Secret Garden with me? I'm on Episode 7.
•Tim McBride is no god.
•I really shouldn't have told my mom that I have a boyfriend; now she won't talking to me about birth control. Awkward.
•@U-KISS, SHINee, BIGBANG, and 2ne1 fans. BIGGEST VIP RIGHT HERE. Also, B2st and 2 p.m. will be lonely if they're not mentioned just once.
•1. The League has no members with braces, but thank you for trying to warn us. 2. Getting our act together is impossible when we communicate by using different colored smoke signals. At night. -The League of Injustice
•To whoever wanted to join the League, we have some stipulations. You must have a special talent that brings fear to peoples’ hearts. Or cookies, we like cookies. Then you have to find a League member. They will introduce a motion to induct you into the League during our weekly meeting. It's a yes or no vote. And then you’re in! Or not. -The League of Injustice
•It has come to our attention that people claiming to be in the League of Injustice have submitted several posts. That is extremely unjust … we could use you. Meet us on the Quad tonight; you will know who we are. (We have capes.) -The Speaker of the League of Injustice
•I'm a single girls dream. I'm completely dependent on my parents for cash, I'm mentally retarded, I dress like Dane Cook and I'm like a father figure to girls …
•@To my fellow Anderson 3 North Family, Please STOP throwing up in the sinks, showers, washing machines, lounge, study lounge, hallways and babies. How does one throw up IN a baby?!
•Ladybug invasion in Leonard Hall!
•As an Irish redhead at AU, I'll speak on behalf for all of us gingers and say, it's OK. we knew what you meant, don't worry.
•Why are there so many Asians in the library, Love Asian guy
•I am everything you want, I am everything you need. I am everything inside of you that you wish you could be. I say all the right things at exactly the right time, but I mean nothing to you and I don't know why.
•This is mambo no. 5.
•To the girl in my 8 a.m. French class: Stop wearing short-shorts and flapper skirts in 50-degree weather. Also, tone your sluttiness by holding off on the stripper boots. Much obliged.
•My boyfriend might come visit this weekend and we're going to get sooooooooo hot and heavy. -Neglected Female Prowess
•To person talking about "asjkl,” there's always "asdlkjslfkjzxa." Just sayin'.
•I have the best job ever at the POBs. I encourage more people to apply next year.
•To the girl who handed me a Soul Food Dinner Flyer the other day: Do you not remember that you said you wish you could beat me up a while ago? Shove your smile.
•Shut up, you stinky Occupiers!
•There were shreds of toilet paper in my water from the kitchen in Letts. Thanks AU, thanks.
•Your clothes never wear as well the next day, and your hair never falls in quite the same way, you never seem to run out of things to say
•I'm at work, but at the same time I am not.
•Kiss me out of the bearded barley Nightly, beside the green, green grass Swing, swing, swing the spinning step You wear those shoes and I will wear that dress
•I warned you not to trust me, but here we are dancing on a razor's edge fingertip to fingertip. We say we've fallen one way and I remain true, but my thoughts still stray
•I know that we are young and I know you may love me, but I just can't be with you like this anymore … Alejandro
•Swallow my doubt, turn it inside out, find nothing but faith in nothing
•@girl who wants to go back to Jersey for bagels, WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO GO BACK TO JERSEY?! NOT EVEN A $2 BAGEL IS WORTH IT!!!!
•It's like a dream - you try to remember but it's gone, then ya Try to scream but it only comes out as a yawn, when ya Try to see the world beyond your front door.
•@the girl whining about guys spreading their legs: I'm sorry that men have external genitals that need room to breathe. You're just jealous … #penisenvy
•When President Rangos wears his glasses, I imagine him changing in a phone booth like Clark Kent, except I'm there too ;)
•Anyone else wish AU had co-ed rooms so Nick Rangos could be their roommate?
•Everything, everything will be just fine. Everything, everything will be alright, alright. [Editor’s note: So many song lyrics today!]
•I always feel really guilty when I wear flip-flops on the silent floor of the library, but I really like flip-flops so I'm not going to stop wearing them. Sorry guys!
•Dear Hughes Hall Council, Why so serious?
•Dear "I'm sick of trust fund babies,” Some of us actually do learn things, study, and want to do something substantial in our lives. Try not to assume just because I have money that I'm a jerk who doesn't do anything with my life. Sincerely, Sick of everyone assuming I'm a horrible person
•It is not necessary for anyone to chew loudly enough that I can hear you from across the room. I'm just trying to write a paper here, but I can't concentrate thanks to your loud persistent munching, chomping and general eating incompetence.
•To the person asking about the Phonathon we do great things. Yes we do follow a script but, that's only part of it. I suggest you join us here we always are looking for employees. Trust me you will like it!
•Stop whispering on the silent floor. Yes, I'm talking to you two girls that were sitting in at the desks near the window in the very front around 6:30 on Nov. 9.
•SPA Leadership Student Director is painfully out of touch with program members.
•To OccupyDC/AU/whatever: Your chalk sign provokes feelings of mild irritation in me. Let's get real; accusing Anderson and Letts of being apathetic is not going to guilt trip anyone into joining. Sarah McLachlan mixed with some sad puppies and kittens, on the other hand …
•Dear fellow Kpop fans: I want to meet you guys. You seem to like all the same groups.
•I miss my roommate. Being abroad made me realize how much of a great roommate she is …
•Maybe the Leadership kids should write some policy memos on how to deal with the negative Eagle Rants. It's not like there'd be any change in their overall productivity.
•I'm glad that I was rejected by the SPA Failureship program. I've found that the time I've saved not giving sandwiches to the homeless was better spent on my education and improving my life.
•That amazing feeling when you've just had a really hard workout, showered and are now sitting in bed stretching while watching your favorite TV show.
•That moment of awkwardness/awesomeness when you've skipped class and run into one of your classmates who's skipped class as well
•That awkward/embarrassing moment when you're really sweaty and gross-looking, and the person you've recently hooked up with walks by.
•When did reality become TV?
•Bro. Your computer makes a high pitch noise. TURN IT OFF. Like everyone in class tonight was looking around, trying to figure out where the squealing was coming from. Also, you press really loudly on your little mouse buttons. And you're a loud texter. Pretty much, I think you should be banned from technology.
•I'm curious — has anyone ever posted about their self on LaL? Some of the posts on there seem kind of iffy imo.
•Where are all the fine black men on campus?! Deprived.
•To the person who has the Pikachu sprite on their window in Anderson, while I would have gone with the diamond/pearl sprite I applaud your showing of Pokemon fandom and keep at it.
•Dear AU, Our gym is small, but functional. Please use it.
•Boy in the yellow shorts today has the biggest butt I have ever seen on a white boy. I'm a nice black boy, with a pretty nice butt, and I am jealous.
•When we're together, the songs I play on Spotify describe exactly how I feel. Sorry, I just can't say it yet. Oh so sorry.
•I go to the Tenleytown CVS even though I don't need to buy anything, just so I can enjoy the Christmas-y environment.
•I love Christmas Season! I love Christmas Season! I love Christmas Season!
•Why is my long distance boyfriend acting like he isn't even excited to see me for Christmas break after not seeing each other in two months?
•I can understand talking quietly. I can understand leaving lights on to do work. But when I'm sick, have a migraine and need to rest, you should not be having "conversations" with our neighbor by banging on the wall at 3 a.m.
•What happened to the "Rant here!" box? It doesn't seem to be on any of the new pages, I had to go back to old Rants to find it. Now I'm ranting about the lack of being able to Rant rather than whatever it was I intended to Rant about. [Editor’s note: Sorry, that’s our forgetfulness!]
•Arrrrg! Why are there no available heterosexual men on campus?! People keep saying that there are … but I think they're lying. I think it's a big conspiracy to keep the heterosexual females at AU. I mean, I love my gay friends … but a girl has needs! That cannot be satisfied simply by critiquing attractive gay men with attractive gay men!
•Dear Non-Asian Friends: Please stop judging me for being in love with East Asian culture. Also, please stop calling me a reversed racist. I'm not sure what that means or if it's even possible. Sincerely, Your egg friend
•Dear Korean Boy who I met today, You're attractive. Would you mind getting some pepero on the 11th? ;)
•EGGNOG LATTE! FOR THE WIN!
•Had to jump back to the Nov. 6 Rants to find a box where I could submit my Rants. Would be nice if the box was on all of the Rant pages. Just a minor concern …
•Did you know that there are three types of Herpes virus, and that all of them are basically harmless? Did you know that over 90 percent of the human population is a carrier of at least one of these types? Did you know that I contracted it when I was 2 years old, not from my dirty sexcapades with dirty women? Think about those things next time you crack a joke.
•OK people, a little lesson: if there's one, it's a "panino." If there's more than one, they're "panini." But you better pray to Dio (the celestial being not the metal band) that you never, ever, ever say “a panini" in your sorry life.
•SHAPIRO IS MY HERO!!!!
•I hate the WONK campaign with a passion. But I love the Eat Wonky truck with a passion. Sigh, conflicting loyalties suck.
•The first 21 seconds of "Second Chance" by Peter, Bjorn and John make me want to dance all day! I recommend everyone Spotify's it ASAP
•AU guys —STOP BEING CREEPY/AMATEURISH! If a girl likes you and gives you a chance, don't start acting like you're in a relationship the next day! Do you have any idea how much you ruin things by reacting so seriously to ANY affectionate gesture? Making progress in private does NOT make it OK to start acting possessive in public. Off-putting and AWKWARD! If you keep that up, girls will be afraid to so much as you give you a peck on the cheek! Jesus …
•You know that I'm very, very attracted to you, but until you start treating me better, you are getting none of this. And you want it bad. -More than just a body
•I read the Rants about other dorms, and I'm so glad I live in Roper.
•This is nothing like FML or Twitter, it's just College ACB without names. This was a horrible decision by the Editors and I hope it is the thing that gets Student Activities to stop funding our "student newspaper" tabloid.
•How you like your eggs, fried or fertilized?
•Tubsie saves the day!!!!!!!
•Remember that time the building two buildings down from Public Safety was smoking … and it took two phone calls to Public Safety for them to realize it?
•After three years, I finally gave up on guys in D.C. and got into a long distance relationship. It sort of sucks, but it's better than the alternative of being FOREVER ALONE at AU!
•I definitely understand why those sexual assault things are posted in all the on-campus bathrooms. But I was sexually assaulted a couple days before I came here for orientation over three years ago, and still EVERY TIME I see them I think about what happened. It was hard for me to move past that and I really wish I didn't have to be reminded on an almost-daily basis :(
•Liz Richards is awesome. Best VP ever. So glad I voted for her. :)
Rant here!
