•I have nothing interesting to say.
•That awkward moment when everyone in your class knows you hooked up with the guy seating next to you.
•@"So my best guy friend is totally awesome, but lonely and single. And my best girlfriend ... being set up with the other."
•Is your 'best guy friend' Jewish? Better question: Is he a sophomore?
Why are there more rats than heterosexual men on campus?
•That awkward moment when: you drunkingly text friend A who’s not at the party to text mutual friend B, who is at the party to hook up with you. Even more awkward moment when you don't know that friend A and friend B are roommates ... and friend B finds out this little story. At least if friend B needs to get some, he knows where to find it.
•So many girls on Eagle Rants desperately want a cute boy for cuddling purposes. Of course my wonderful new boyfriend would pick the one girl at AU who DOESN'T like to cuddle. I'm trying to get over my aversion to personal space invasion by sleeping with a stuffed animal at night, so he won't think I'm disgusted by him. Now you all know my embarrassing secret.
•I love SPA Leadership and everyone in it! I think the student director is doing an amazing job too!!!
•The way you move your hips, girl, got me hypnotized.
•IM GONNA GET OFF SCOT-WONKIN-FREE!!!
•What happened to the sex advice section of the Eagle? Please bring it back. I have urgent sex questions. Like where can I find intelligent scientific information on sex techniques? (Like expert opinions, not just some random guy or girl in Cosmo)? Anybody have a link to share?
•Why are there so many Eagle Rants even now that they are daily instead of weekly? Can all the non-funny people please stop ranting? kthx
•Six geese of laying. FIVE GOLDEN RINGS. Four calling birds. Three French hens. Two turtle doves. I LOVE CHRISTMAS!!
•I love how critics of the #occupy movements think that the solution is for the protestors to 'get jobs.' "Oh, get a job? Just get a job? Why don’t I strap on my job helmet, squeeze down into a job cannon and fire off into Job Land, where jobs grow on jobbies!" - Charlie; It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
•Where are the straight mature men on this campus?
•A senior, had never really read The Eagle until this semester. Conor Shapiro, your pic makes me pick up the eagle every Thursday which makes me feel dumb uugh! Where do you hang?
•@More than just a body Hell yeah. Stand your ground!
•Random fact 42: The word "assassin" does not come from the commonly thought "hashashin" from "hashish" but actually from the Arabic word "Asas" which means foundation or basis.
•The Anderson Hall President is a beautiful man
•11:11 am on 11/11/11. 'Nuff said.
•I don't get all of the straight girls complaining that all the guys on campus are gay and that they are desperate for love. If that is true, as a bisexual guy, why am I not being covered in bodies?
•Dear League of Injustice, You got punked. - Butts Ma Buttsface
•Dear, Centennial Occupants, You're proud to be the 1 percent? But you're not, your parents are and there's nowhere to go but down for them. Quit being pretentious, or my foot will occupy your butt.
•I miss freshmen and sophomore year when my friends and I just used to hang out for no reason at all. Why, as we grow older, do we forsake the simple enjoyment of another's company for responsibility and duty?
•@"I am everything you want” Vertical Horizon ftw. Can we be best friends?
•FOUR DAYS UNTIL ASSASSIN'S CREED REVELATIONS COMES OUT.
•1) Where's the Rant box on newer pages? 2) Nonetheless, I am loving these daily Eagle Rants! Thanks, Eagle editor/staff! Much love!
•Dear Grad Students in my 500-level Math course, If you can't do the homework and be ready for the quizzes on time, don't hold up the rest of the us who are trying to do well in five not three classes. Also stop coming to class late, interrupting the teacher and being combative all through class ... you are really annoying the undergrads. Thanks! Sincerely, A ticked off math nerd
•Someone should create a Facebook group for single AU students who don't want to be single. I'd do it, but I'm to afraid of the inevitable shame ... Anyone have the guts?
•I enjoy Eagle Rants quite a bit. But when bullying, name-calling and attacks against groups of people or individuals are allowed, it is disgusting.
•When it's Thursday, it's basically Friday. YAY
•My roommate is having her grandma and mother stay in our room for a week. I can't tell her I don't want them to stay here because I want to be able to have my boyfriend visit and stay over. Guess I'm dealing with dentures and snoring for a week. -NO ME GUSTA.
•@all the K-Pop fans from Nov. 10: OK, we need to all meet up. And my roommate and I are super up to watching Secret Garden with you U-KISS fan!
•IT IS NOT THE CHRISTMAS SEASON YET. It is the Holiday season, and the distinct Christmas season starts at 12:01 on Nov. 25, AFTER Thanksgiving. Jeez.
•I'm falling even more in love with you, letting go of all I've held on to, I'm standing here until you make me move, I'm hanging by a moment here with you.
•Being in Georgetown makes me feel slimy.
•Henry Cavil's jaw gives me unrealistic expectations of men.
•Frustrated First-Year from Nov 8: I need someone to talk to who speaks/is learning Russian too. I'm sick of having to constantly caption myself for my friends - ????????? ?? ?????? ????? ???????? ?????
•Show me your bruises, come on, get up, let me see your bruises.
•Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, Or to take arms against a sea of troubles, And by opposing end them? To die: to sleep; no more; and by a sleep to say we end the heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to, 'tis a consummation devoutly to be wish'd. To die, to sleep; to sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub; for in that sleep of death what dreams may come when we have shuffled off this mortal coil, must give us pause ...
•@ that pretentious panini-ranter: Seriously? You're gonna be THAT person? Is it really such a travesty that everyone in the USA calls panini's just that? Have you ever heard someone use the word "panino" and not sound like a pretentious tool? Say Panini, you jerk. USA USA USA!!!
•Dear Eagle Rants hater, Thank you for exemplifying why Eagle Rants are a good thing. Writing that must have been very cathartic. So you got all that out with out insulting your friends who like the Eagle Rants. -Eagle Rants Lover P.S. The Eagle is actually one of the best school newspapers I've ever seen. [Editor’s note: Thank you very much!]
•Am I the only one who's heard of Lambda Lambda? I heard some girls talking about it in Megabytes ... is it legit? Sincerely, More Than Willing
•I love Rants everyday. And the return of the 'rant here' box. Just saying.
•Ya, so due to complete idiocy on the part of the people tracing the checks that my mother stole from my trust fund, my mother is now aware that I am tracing the checks and has emptied the bank account that I was trying to find. Goodbye, $40 million trust fund. Rest in peace, Grandpa. And thanks for having a conniving thief for a daughter.
•That awkward moment when you sleep through 11:11 even though you didn't and are in class.
•Tuition was $36k last year is more than $38k this year. That is an increase of nearly 6 percent. That is on track to be $43k by 2013-2014. Debt Wonks.
•Dear Freshman Biddies, The mats in the gym are for those of us who want to workout. They are not for you to lay down and chit chat about your sex lives. Sincerely, Workout Wonk
•Judging by the sounds coming from my ceiling, I've finally found Redwall Abbey. That means Salamandastron is probably down the hall somewhere.
•Whoever ranted about the Roots of Racism class, I am so glad I'm not the only one who hates it. That professor doesn't teach ... she talks out of her butt. We should start a chain of Rants about it. :)
•To the Media Services - I am so relieved to hear that you don't judge me for my strange movie choices. Now that I know this, I'm totally gonna start checking out the weirdest movies to see how you react. lol jk ... or am I?!
•Dear Creepy Jewish Grad Student, Please stop harassing me in the Tavern. I've made it perfectly clear that I really don't want to talk to you. Are you that socially inept that you can't tell when you're making me uncomfortable and that I obviously have other things to be doing? Also, not every aspect of my life is your business. Stop being nosey when I avoid a topic. Sincerely, The Christian Girl Who Would Rather Not See You Again
•Leggings are not pants. That is all.
•Whoever was sexually frustrated in Centennial, what were those two dating websites you mentioned? And LAL? I share your pain, and live in Centennial.
•My current goal in life is to get an editor's note on one of my rants >.> Is that a bad thing? [Editor’s note: Totally not a bad thing. And mission accomplished.]
•To my fellow Kpop fan who said we should all meet up, I completely agree! The Korean Student Association simply doesn't meet enough to fulfill all my Kpop needs. Plus, my roommate doesn't like the way Korean sounds. =/
•Oh my god Nick Rangos just go do something with this girl so we don't have to read anymore of her Rants.
•STRESS IS STRESSFUL.
•All these K-pop rants are making me happy. We must organize a K-pop appreciation party!
•Why are all the girls complaining about the lack of straight guys? There are plenty of them. Most of the straight girls, however, seem really unapproachable. Also, you might be assuming they’re gay, when in fact, they’re not.
•Nine rants on Nov. 9 ... how many do you think I can sneak in this time?
•I have Neverland by U-Kiss stuck in my head. This is a good day for me. -The White girl who can believe there are K-pop fans on campus!
•If Neil Kerin were a Pokémon, what Pokémon would he be?
•To the guys on the shuttle today around 10:30 - no, forte does not mean fast, and Bach was not in the classical period. Just because you take one music class doesn't mean you're automatically Mozart. -NOT OK.
•Gotta Catch 'em All, Pokemon!
•I'm tired of flying under the radar. I just want someone who actually sees me. But no one who looks ever sees.
•After Nov. 15, I will have three boyfriends: Desmond, Altair and Ezio. Real men need not apply.
•Well Irish redhead, I could be in love with someone like you.
•To the person who wrote: "All I require is someone with a love of music, karate and samurai movies and Tex-Mex. My soulmate will have those things. Still looking, though ..." If you're a straight guy, we should get together. If not, we can still be BFFs!
•To the K-pop fan from a few days ago: THERE ARE MORE OF US ON CAMPUS! YOU ARE NOT ALONE! And one of these days, someone should get around to starting a K-pop appreciation club ...
•You have the SCHWEDDY BEAR?! No! We don't want you!
•That's it. I'm getting a hedgehog.
•To the people completely baffled by the existence of Kpop-loving people in Ohio: lol Kpop is a legitimate thing. A rather globally popular legitimate thing, too. Go Youtube it. Also, you seem to be implying that ther\'s a lack of Korean cultural influences in Ohio, which is rather ignorant of you tbqh.
•This goes out to all you lonely K-poppers here on Eagle Rants: HOW ABOUT A K-POP CLUB?! Then we can all just get together and talk about it, and eventually take over campus as everyone learns about how awesome K-pop is. Just a suggestion. ^_^
•The last man on Earth sat alone in a room. There was a knock at the door.
•Quit whining about mustaches on women ... I have what I guess is called "peach fuzz" on my upper lip. It's blonde but still visible. If I were to try and get rid of it, there's a chance it might grow in darker/thicker, something I'm not too keen on happening. Besides, I'm not waxing/plucking/traumatizing my face for anyone. Sorry, you'll just have to deal with the face nature gave me.
•We didn’t show up on the Quad last night. Our bad. -League of Injustice
•I don't read Rants to see a ton of random song lyrics.
•If I miss 11:11 pm I'm gonna cry. It's bad enough that I missed it this morning.
•WHY CAN'T I BE A MATCHMAKER?!
Rant here!