The experience is common. Everyone has their own version. Mine happened a few nights ago eating pizza in Tenleytown. Chowing down with an old friend, we commiserated about the economy and how it looks as grim as a middle seat on a plane between Westboro Baptist Church parishioners. She groaned about her inability to amply provide for herself. She has a secure job with benefits, but she seems to have plateaued and is frustrated about her lack of discretionary income.
When I started prodding her about her recent infatuation with Ayn Rand, she countered with an attack on illegal immigrants and welfare recipients that would make Glenn Beck appear sane. To me, nothing exemplifies the liberal/conservative divide in this country more than a person’s interpretation of rich and poor.
The crux of her argument was as follows: I get up early, I work hard, why should I have to pay for some indolent addict? If I can do it, why can’t they? As a generalization, I assume most conservatives wouldn’t reject this mantra.
I implored her to have some empathy for the poor, who depend on support to make it through the day. She was obstinate. I told her life on welfare is no glamorous Miami Beach stroll. No one wakes up wanting to be poor. “Still,” she claimed, “I disagree on principle; we’re just enabling their lives of destitution and dependence.”
I asked how she knew the meaning of hard work. She beamed. It was practically in her blood, acquired from her tight-knit family. She began working at 16 and hadn’t stopped since. Her parents instilled in her an admirable trait of self-sufficiency. OK, I said, humor me and put yourself in a different hypothetical upbringing. One where your Dad was absent, your Mother was drunk and you spent your entire impoverished childhood fending for yourself.
She interjected, “Then I would work my butt off and find a way out.”
How? No one ever taught you the value of hard work. You accrued no experience working jobs and your most formative years were spent developing bad habits.
This is where the disconnect becomes most apparent. Empathy is only extended so far. She applied her present mentality to the hypothetical scenario. She can’t do that. She would be a completely different woman with a different value set under my faux example. How can you expect someone to work hard, when they were never taught the meaning and rewards of hard work?
She was lucky to have good teachers and a strong familial presence assisting her along her journey. Others aren’t as fortunate.
She scoffed.
In reality, she’s partially correct. Some folks exploit the system. Some are genuinely lazy and are capable of holding jobs but won’t.
So what? Help them anyway.
We can do worse than buying a stranger lunch. It’s a societal failing that we deride these recipients rather than give them the benefit of the doubt. Instead of asking, how can we help, we righteously proclaim: Do it yourself.
I laud the few who maneuvered their way through rough childhoods to become financially independent. But it’s wrong to uniformly assume all are equipped with the same capacities or values. Even twins end up differently. Instead of lambasting the real culprits — greedy bats swooping over Wall Street or the bloated defense budget — fingers are pointed at those struggling the most. It’s appalling, and a direct result of disseminated scapegoating via wealthy influences like the U.S. Chamber of Commerce.
There’s a beautiful poem by Mother Theresa titled, “Anyway.” I recommend it to all my conservative pals. Lazy or not, let’s help them anyway.
Conor Shapiro is a graduate student in the School of International Service and a liberal columnist.
edpage@theeagleonline.com