It strikes me as a tad ironic to have matriculated to AU. I consider myself a citizen of the world before a citizen of the United States. I shun patriotic pride and claim no honor in anything without the prerequisite of merit. Blind patriotism is analogous with white pride, black pride, gay pride or straight pride. Seems to me I had no choice in the matter, and if I did, I would’ve preferred to resemble Denzel Washington instead of a collision between Kramer and Andy Roddick.
I grew up in Phoenix and graduated in 2007 from San Diego State University with a B.A. in Political Science. It’s amazing how eventful life sounds when you summarize 22 years in one brief sentence. I play tennis and basketball and enjoy running and endurance sports. I practice the violin recreationally and I’m the curator of a blog titled “ConArtist,” which is my ‘liberal elitist’ imitation of Facebook. I compose riddles, poetry and criticize random things because it’s one of my few talents.
This fall is my first semester as a graduate student in the School of International Service where my present specification is in International Peace and Conflict Resolution. My interests are reforming education curriculum to incorporate peace education, and finding ways to make peace profitable. I’m no expert on economics, but incentives are generally successful, as in — here’s $10,000,000. Now instead of that uranium enrichment project you’ve always wanted for energy independence (or to blow up, you know, everybody), how about building a wind farm, or even a spaceship? We’ve got agriculture subsidies; can’t we do the same to control weaponry?
I’m more inclined to cite sources and find inspiration from social commentary in Playboy (yes, I actually do read the articles … and captions), Rolling Stone and The New York Times than CNN or MSNBC. If you just asked “What about Fox,” I answer: What about it? I’m a feminist. I’m liberal. I’m not moderate. Last I checked, there’s no such thing as moderately perfect, and therefore you won’t read any apologetic sentences like, “Though I may be socially liberal, I’m fiscally conservative.” Fiscal conservatism is every bit as cancerous as social conservatism.
My views are iconoclastic, clashing with mainstream Republicans as well as Democrats. I don’t believe in God, though I prefer to be labeled agnostic over atheist. My favorite bumper sticker reads, “I’m already against the next war.” I believe the term ‘military heroism’ is primarily oxymoronic and the bravest thing one can do is speak out against the military industrial complex. Although I’m right 100 percent of the time, I’m open to alternatives and suggestions (under the precondition they’re flagrantly wrong). My column will tackle serious subjects, but I don’t take myself too seriously and will do my best to include jokes that will, at minimum, be attempts at humor.
The measure of success of my column entails ruffling a few feathers, challenging canonical dogma, generating debate and eliciting a chuckle every now and then. You’ll likely bump into me at Jacobs Fitness Center sporting high black socks and mismatched clothes, complaining to no one in particular about broken lockers or machines left drenched from an oblivious frat boy. Don’t be a stranger. I look forward to joining The Eagle staff and the greater AU community.
Conor Shapiro is a graduate student in the School of International Service and a liberal columnist.
