EDITOR’S QUESTION: What should we do with Eagle Rants? Leave ‘em as is? Change ‘em? Cut ‘em? Let me know! Rant it in!
• These allergy pills I'm poppin' say I can't be sippin' cider while I'm on them. Must I choose between not dripping snot on my shirt dripping vomit on my shirt? Why do kids get their own medicine but college students don't? CATER TO MY NEEDS, BIG PHARM.
• Please refrain from putting regular paper into the smokers' poles. I put it out, but the one I am sitting next to was just billowing smoke and clearly on fire.
• So it's 3 a.m., I'm chillin’ on the beach, and a couple is basically having sex about 10 yards away from me. I know that it's 3 a.m. and on the beach, both of which are kind of my fault, but seriously — have enough decency to realize that you're in a public place and take your sexual escapades indoors.
• Dear American University Students.... Are you stupid?! Today was Campus Beautification Day, and how did many of you decide to celebrate? By completely trashing the quad? Pick up your trash! This includes you, Frat boys. You're the ones who like to block the entrance to MGC all day long...naturally we all know that all the trash left there is yours. CLEAN UP AFTER YOUR GROSS SELVES.
• You have to admire Charlie, he worked really hard to become editor in chief. Those long hard hours laying out the eagle, forcing students to write, to come out with a quality paper at least once a week, sometimes even a quality paper twice a week. Congrats Charlie! EDITOR’S NOTE: Thanks random person!
• I'm pretty sure farting counts as a violation of quiet floor etiquette. So does snoring and groaning in your sleep. Really, people? Find somewhere else to be a slob. And while I'm bitching ... what is with these girls that turn lobster-like shades of red and yet continue to sit out on the quad day after day? I think all this lack of air conditioning must have fried their brains.
• Taken from the 'About' Section of the Eagle: "The Eagle is an award-winning student-run newspaper that publishes a print edition every Monday and Thursday during the academic year, except on days when the University is closed." ...or when we don't feel like it, or when it gets too busy, or when there is legitimate stuff to cover... EDITOR’S NOTE: What does this even mean? Are you angry because we skipped Easter? We have families too!
• PLEASE TURN ON THE AIR-CONDITIONING.
• Your comment made my day. Scream-into-my-pillow happiness. And it was, like, five words. You amaze me.
• Dear AU Construction, Why t would you think its okay to be drilling shit outside my window at 7:15 a.m. Yes, you are trying to do your job. I get that. Why not try doing it at reasonable hours, when the majority of the population is ALREADY AWAKE.
• Dear Housing & Dining, TURN ON THE AIR CONDITIONING. I don't pay thousands of dollars to be unbearably hot in my room. I'm considering sleeping in the hallway. Or outside. THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
• "Hi, I'm a college student and I think I'm really cool because I like to listen to esoteric band with obscure names whom the general American populace hasn't heard of." No. Forget that. Where are the people around here who like real music? What about Rush? What about the Police? What about CCR? For Christ sakes, even Fall Out Boy will do.
• I am unable to attend Take Back the Night but I really want to hear all the testimonials. Is there a way to put them online? Can the Eagle publish them so that people unable to attend the event can read some of what they missed? Thanks.
• Ever since this Alex Knepper thing, I’ve totally lost interest in reading The Eagle because whether you’re for it or against it, you’re obsessed. Bring back the old days of Eagle Rants!!!
• It's been bothering me that I don't know why I wasn't called back during Rush from my top picks. I though I clicked with them.
• Sometimes, my roommate just stares at me when she thinks I don't know. It's really weird and it makes me very uncomfortable. I don't know what to do.
• Dear Car Full of Girls in the Berks parking lot on Friday, I am writing this because you drove away too quickly for me to say this to your faces. But perhaps, if you would learn how to use your brake pedal appropriately and wouldn't zoom up hills in heavily foot-trafficked parking lots ... and then stop in the crosswalks ... while I am trying to cross ... I wouldn't have to glare at you, and you wouldn't have to tell me to get over myself, then I wouldn't have to flip you off, and the world would be a much happier place. Have a most enjoyable weekend. Sincerely, That Girl in the Berks Parking Lot
• Dear EcoSense: If you want to do something to really save the world’s water, try eliminating automatic toilets. Those things flush three times before I am ready to even flush it once. AU should switch to manual toilets, and that would save a lot of water.
• All nighters blow.
• No April Fools issue? What the f? Thanks a lot, Knepper...
• The work in the Graphic Design show gets labels. Why can't the undergrad/art major show also have labels? This would not have happened if I had organized it.
• "Classical Liberal" columnist? Really? There's a reason it's called Classical Liberalism… people gave up on it in 1957.
Rant here!
