• A candyland sedar? Our ancestors were oppressed by Pharaoh and G-d delivered us and you're making a joke out of it? Where is ADL when you need them?
• I pay to go to AU. Why do I need to share my locker room with a bunch of rugrats?
• If so-and-so is elected SG president, I'm transferring to Canadian University.
• Charles: For the life of me when I look at the Eagle Web site I can't seem to find your little video where you recap all of the news in the eagle. Can you make the link to that more obvious? Clearly, I'm not that smart because I actually read Le Eagle. Yours, Dear Reader. EDITOR’S NOTE: The “Quicktake” that you are referring to has been temporarily suspended. It might come back one day. No promises.
• What's the difference between Joseph Goebbels and the staff of the Eagle? Goebbels *knew* he was doing anti-gay propaganda. The Eagle doesn't know the difference.
• Can we limit the amount of times that Alex can post on articles on the E-Eagle? I know he is the smartest one on staff, but he gets boring. Could we also have like a forum on the eagle? Could we also have someone to moderate these comments?
• Why can't Eagle Rants "threaten" any person, but The Eagle can print anti-gay diatribes?
• Selling girl-scout cookies on the quad may be the smartest thing ever.
• To the girls in my class who think they're so much better than everyone else: shut up. You're a joke.
• IF I HAVE TO TAKE ONE MORE SCIENCE CLASS I WILL KILL MYSELF!
• F*** everyone in class who doesn't do the reading. Why are you even in class? Why are you even in school?
• Where the F*** is my Monique nique nique nique nique in the afternoon???
• too little sleep. must stay up and pass classes
• Dear Roommate, Please stop slamming the door whenever you leave the room. It's loud and obnoxious, and it makes me want to poke badgers with spoons. Find another outlet for your aggression.
• I wish you felt the same way about me as I feel about you.
• Why are there never Facebook events for the different events on campus? Especially the Katzen ones. Note to club leaders: If your club is having an event, MAKE A FACEBOOK GROUP FOR IT. It's really not that hard.
• I'm starting to regret living in Hughes next year. It'll probably be loud with the guy who gives blowjobs in the amphitheatre.
• Endorsing Jeremiah Headen screams, "We hate gays!" Thanks Eagle. EDITOR’S NOTE: No, we don’t. But we do understand why you people who don’t read what was written would say that.
• I second all the rants Monday about trash on the quad... they had to bring extra trash cans out to give you the hints you lazy bums. Be responsible!
• Soooo is there any good reason why computers have super high default sound levels? They are set so sound only works with headphones, so shouldn't that be lower? --Busted Ears.
• Someone puhlease tell me that a guy who has slept around (and is like, 21 or something) will probably eventually stop being promiscuous. I can't get over my attraction.
• Reading the opinion section on this site makes me feel much less whiny. Highly-visible students at this school are defensive little bitches.
• Last year I sent an e-mail to today@au (which was clearly NOT forwarded on those worthlessmotherf****ers) wherein I suggested the renaming of today@au to TodayU (like, TodayU will do these dumb things) and The Eagle to Theagle. These shorter names are more efficient and green, which I do believe is our motto or something.
• As much as I love college there is one creature-comfort from home that I struggle to do without: I'm lower-end-of-average height, but everyone in my family is substantially shorter than me. What I'm getting at is, I've seen a lot of short people on campus here, and I'm wondering if they'd like to be my (paid) friends so I can feel tall like I do at home.
• I want a boy from On a Sensual Note to follow me around campus singing Michael Buble's everything. Let’s get that going kthnx.
• I am still a virgin and even though I know I will regret it, I kind of want to just get it over with. I'm worried about the awkward first few times, because chances are the guy I sleep with first will have experience and be disappointed by the fact that I have no idea what the hell I am doing. AHHH-H-H-H-H
• Sometimes to change the system you need to work within it. Students can put in time and effort to reform their school, but they will always come up against limitations on their time. If alumni want to take pride in their school, they should be willing to take steps to try to improve it. Look at the Women's Resource Center - that is something that both alumni and current students can be proud to have achieved together. I'm not sure I will support the university after I graduate, but I do not think it's useful or fair for AU grads to complain if they aren't willing to lend a hand.
• Listening to Kogod students work makes me really happy I'm not a business student.
• People in the library: When you say you'll watch my stuff, that doesn't mean "get up and leave." It means, "stay till I get back."
• Dear Morons on the Quad, Let's not be throwing hard baseballs that could potentially kill someone back and forth to each other on a public walkway. You hit me in the face, and when I tossed back your ball, I was really tempted to walk away with it. Because apparently the university has failed to instill any degree of common sense in those head of yours so frankly, I don't think you deserve a baseball.
• Dear Girls Who Parade Around the Quad in Bikini Tops and Tiny Shorts, This is not your personal beach, and I do not particularly want to see your vaginas because your shorts are stuffed up impossibly tight against your crotches. That girl who biked up behind you and coughed "SKANKS"? That was me. I hope you run into one of your professors while dressed like that, because THAT would be worth a laugh. Love, The senior who can't stop bitching about moronic underclassmen
• Eagle rants, you have been lame lately. I am supremely disappointed. EDITOR’S NOTE: Blame the players, not the game.
• I've realized something.... I like guys who are unavailable, and are uninterested in the one's that like me. I've tried to make myself more available for those guys. I've tried not to like them, period. I just want one guy, who I'm attracted too and is attracted to me at least the same amount. I mean COME ON!
• I've heard really bad rumors about this one guy I'm attracted too. Basically that he's not that great with women — he only cares about sleeping around. But he's really nice to his friends. Is it worth it to try to get to know him in a romantic way? Or should I stick to trying to be his friend? I know it's incredibly unlikely but what if I'm the one who takes this player out of the game?
• In light of this good weather, the Eagle Online should do weekly weather forecasts.
• WHY DO WE HAVE TO GO TO CLASS?! If I feel a professor is wasting my time by making me watch a movie, that half the class has already seen, then why do I HAVE to go to class? I got points off my grade bc I would rather sleep than watch Ghandi?! That’s insane. I'm paying for this education out of MY pocket and if I want to miss class because the professor is a failure, shouldn't that be MY choice. Shouldn't the university apologize to me for wasting my money and not lower my grade even more?! This policy is ridiculous and I wish the kids so desperate for us to vote on them would address the issues that we actually care about! What the hellllllll. Change this now AU! COME ON. I'M AN ADULT.
