In middle school, many students learn that a fight can take place without any face-to-face confrontation. It becomes a war of words, snide comments and notes passed to others. Now some members of the music industry have taken passive-aggressive fights to a whole new level with the help of the Internet.
My fascination with the subject of Internet brawls started a couple of weeks ago. Sure, I’d noticed the occasional non-confrontational catfight between celebrities in the tabloids, but nothing that caught my attention the way a piece on absolutepunk.net did.
It all began with a concert preview. Bill Chenevert, a reporter for Philadelphia Weekly, wrote a short paragraph in late December announcing an upcoming concert for the Starting Line. But rather than just simply mentioning the event, Chenevert began the piece “It’s hard not to root against local boys who’ve ‘made it’ ... unless it’s a band like the Starting Line.” The reporter continued the critique of the band, going as far as to say their music is an “insufferable brand of whine” and called them the “obnoxious, angsty teenagers” of emo.
A bit harsh for less than 150 words, no?
While most bands blow off such bad reviews as the cost of being in the music business, singer and bassist Kenny Vasoli decided not to take such insults sitting down. He took to the Internet, criticizing Chenevert for his “low blows” and saying the shows mentioned in the piece gave the members of the band “an indescribable feeling of joy, one that I’m sure Mr. Chenevert will never experience in his pathetic excuse of a career.” After going on to make one or two other rather crude comments, Vasoli finished off the post with a succinct “I win.”
Vasoli’s response caused fans to descend upon the online version of Chenevert’s article. A couple days later, another writer for PW, Michael Alan Goldberg, posted his response to the nonsense on his blog.
Although intending to quell the fire, Goldberg’s blog wasn’t exactly unbiased. Protecting his colleague, Goldberg said he agrees with Chenevert’s general analysis on the Starting Line’s music and chastised Vasoli for his “immature crybaby” response. But his real problem with the whole situation was the response of the band’s fans. After angrily criticizing the comment leavers, he ended his post by saying that “based on their comments and reactions, Starting Line fans really are dipshits.”
It was just recently that I came across a story involving Franz Ferdinand that ended very differently than the Starting Line/Philadelphia Weekly conflict. The conflict began when frontman Alex Kapranos took to Twitter to vent about the fact that one of the band’s songs was being used on a McDonald’s Web site. The site, www.latenightmcdonalds.com, features music videos from artists such as the Fray and Incubus as well as Franz Ferdinand. Apparently, Sony approved the use of the song without the band’s consent. Kapranos, using many words that The Eagle would rather not print, redirected his initial rage at the restaurant to the label.
“The psychopathic corporation I am pissed off with is Sony who owns Epic who release our records in America,” Kapranos tweeted. “But not really surprised.”
Eventually, the singer calmed down and joked that his real reason for being angry is that he “had a sponsorship deal with White Castle on the cards which is now totally scuppered.”
But this tiff didn’t end there. Now, we as Americans, or maybe human beings in general, like to butt in where we don’t belong and give unwarranted advice on situations that do not involve us. It is, simply put, how we do.
Scott Austin, CEO of Authentik Artists and blogger, composed a post entitled “Open Letter to Franz Ferdinand.” The blog began by criticizing the band’s wish to have indie cred despite being on a major label. Austin continued on, lecturing the musicians on complaining while making millions of dollars and only wanting to look “cool” for their fans.
“You are ungrateful and two-faced,” Austin wrote, telling them to “have the ‘cred’ and take the hard road, or the money and keep your mouth shut.” Finally, Austin finished off by declaring that “now is not the time for millionaire rock stars to cry woe is me.”
Kapranos did not take this lightly. His response started off politely, explaining that his complaint centered on the lack of choice the band had in the use of their song. Kapranos then went insult by insult through Austin’s blog post and countered them, saying that it was “uncool” of him to tweet without thinking first, but that’s all it was. Finally, he finished off the letter by NOT calling Austin a “pathetic bile-ridden resentful poisonous ignorant yellow-livered inarticulate morally-suspect avaricious failed-corporate-wannabe.” All in all, the response was surprisingly kind and straightforward.
However, Austin decided not to let it end there. While he asked non-sarcastically to be friends, he couldn’t let go of a few minor details and wants to “parry and joust just a bit more.” Luckily, rather than continuing on the fight unnecessarily, his blog in response to that band’s letter was more of a long-winded apology by a guy who always needs to get in the last word.
The moral of these stories? Well, there are a couple morals.
Number one: Watch what you say on the Internet. Unlike an angry phone call or conversation, what’s tweeted or texted or e-mailed is in print. This means it’s easily copied and forwarded and commented on.
Number two: Be the bigger man (or woman). Seriously, let it go. If someone seriously attacks you and bases their argument on false facts, you can write a letter in response and not sink to their level.
Number three: Get over it. Just make music. Or write. Or produce. Or do whatever it is that you do. The music business drama is fun for maybe a day but it forces the actual music to take a backseat. The music needs to be the center of attention, or you’re not being an artist; you’re being Britney Spears.
In the end, this is really just a rant about a bunch of other people’s rants. But as entertaining as Internet brawls are to watch, perhaps it is time for grown men and women in the music business to learn to vent on the phone to their friends and not trade insults via the World Wide Web. The Internet is clogged up enough as it is.
You can reach this staff writer at mhollander@theeagleonline.com
