• First rule about dorm life: You do not rant about dorm life. It 's a dorm. What did you expect it to be like?
• What do you do with the guy from SAMMY on your door step? Pay him for the pizza.
• If two guys from SAMMY are in a car, who is driving? The Cops.
• Why do we have spy cameras in our library? Is that a Patriot Act thing?
• Did you hear that Housing and Dining ran well one day last week? Chris Moody called in sick.
• What's the difference between Chris Moody and George W. Bush? One is a hapless administrator who totally destroyed a working system. The other was President of the United States.
• Bring back the AU threesome!
• I wonder what the guy who gives head in the arboretum looks like.
• For all you AU haters out there, I have a message for all of you. AU is a wonderful university. There are so many opportunities for students. No other school in D.C. or the nation for that matter provides opportunities for current LIT-100 students to hold senior positions in the school newspaper. EDITOR'S NOTE: This was pretty funny.
• Whatever happened to the editor's comments in the Eagle Rants section? I kinda miss the hilarious commentary. It reminds me of the stupid yet entertaining comments made by my five year old bro. EDITOR'S NOTE: This was kinda offensive.
• I am so over it.
• To the guy who gave me a once-over in the arboretum: we should do it again sometime; I felt like we really had something there.
• Dear anti-ugg/northface combo, I used to be like you, dear friend. But then I put my foot into an ugg, and it literally felt like the equivalence of putting my foot into a sheep. Yes, they look extremely dumb, but on the inside, my foot is in heaven. Please, take it from one who has traveled to the dark side.
• The annoying thing about being in a triple all year (besides lack of space) is the person on the bottom of the bunk bed who feels the top bunk move every time that person moves. It also doesn 't help when the top bunker wake up two hours before they have to ... causing the bottom bunker to wake up as well.
• I am sick of gingers. Get out of my way.
• Dear AUSG Senate, Heard you couldn't even pass a resolution honoring those who tragically died and are still suffering horrifying conditions - stricken without water, food or basic medical necessities. WOW
• Dear Auto Program, How the hell do you say you have a programming director, when you aren't running any damn programs! Sincerely, A Pissed off AU Student
• To the cute new girl that works at Subway: I hope to see you again real soon!
• Biddies, biddies, everywhere... but not a drop to drink.
• Dear Hill Intern, and any other Hill interns who act like this: As a fellow intern in Congress, I can safely say your ego needs deflating. You may feel that you've earned the right to brag in class because you don 't get paid to sort mail, but it just makes you seem obnoxious. I bet you wear your badge on the metro too, in hopes of impressing everyone. Take a hint: No one cares.
• RHA is sort of the red headed step child of AUSG, but Guapo's at Phil Bender? AMAZING!
• What is it with the Shuttle Service on Campus? It took 25 minutes for a shuttle on Friday evening at 6p.m.
• Charlie- WTF? Where was the Take? How can I get through my day without the take? I mean really Charlie, WTF? EDITOR'S NOTE: You have no idea how much this rant means to me. Check page two.
• Enough hating on greek life in the Eagle Rants! And in general ... I don 't know how a school that prides itself on being liberal and open-minded can be so judgmental. So stop glaring at me when I 'm wearing letters ... get to know me. You'd be surprised.
• RE: Jealous of Hill Interns. 1. I 'm actually not at all. 2.I totes understand that you're all proud of your internships. You should be (no sarcasm intended). But when you bring it up five times in an hour on every day of a class where it's completely irrelevant to the subject material in every way? Then it 's time to STFU about it.
• Whenever I see the letters SDT I secretly think it should stand for STD.
• Dear Eagle, Pretty sure I 'm in love with Charlie and his accent. -Ranter
• I always hear strange noises coming from the bushes of the arboretum. It sounds like some guy is giving a bj.
