• Dear AU Threesome... Write more.
• Why doesn't The Eagle Twitter follow me? :(
• Why do we need more college fraternities? Aren't there enough ways to buy friends on campus?
• I understand that the basement of the library is not a quiet floor. I don't care if people are talking quietly. But is it really necessary to sit BY YOURSELF in a chair talking loudly on the phone? Can you not go somewhere else to do that? Home, perhaps?
• I'm a science major at AU. Biggest waste of money EVER. FML.
• Ugh, I hate the online layout of The Eagle. Not that I often bother to navigate around it.
• The only reason I know straight guys exist at AU is because they are in one of my night classes. In fact, they make up the majority of the class. And they're all attractive. Night classes FTW.
• I can't wait to go home for Thanksgiving and see who got fat this semester.
• To the girl on Leonard 8 who just continued having a personal phone conversation while on the toilet ... REALLY?????!!!
• STOP SNORING on the QUIET FLOOR of the LIBRARY.
• Don't diss greek life to tell us you like us. ~Zete
• Why is it either very sunny and warm or pouring rain and freezing?? D.C. weather, make up your mind already!!
• Why is it acceptable to text during the middle of a conversation? Or even a make-out session for that matter? Texting is the downfall of America!!
• Dear Judgmental Pricks, Today I got some dirty looks as I went through the handicapped door into Anderson and then proceeded to take elevator to the second floor. Next time I'll try not to be as lazy... Yours, The guy on crutches
• I may be the only one, but I don't think I am; I have loved all of the AU Threesome's articles. Please bring them back.
• RE: Legos and getting laid Legos are hot. If you're into females, there are plenty of nerdy, fairly attractive ladies on this campus.
• An Eagle rant — or seven — a day keeps the doctor away! I'm pretty sure my daily Eagle ranting is how I've kept swine flu at bay this semester. Thanks, Eagle Rants!
• Can we get shag carpet in Mary Graydon Center?
• Dear Pompous Asshole, You're a sophomore (I'm assuming) and yet you still blabber on about your AP test scores? No one cares! If you AP'd out of this class, why are you wasting your tuition and time that could be spent taking other, more exciting non-gen ed classes? You're an idiot.
• I don't care if they're practical, longboards look dumb.
• Bob Dylan needs to put out at least one more good album before he dies to atone for the monstrosity that is his new Christmas album. I know proceeds go to Feeding America, but I'd offer to use all of my meal swipes and more to feed the hungry so long as they never have to hear that horrible garbage.
• I never have to interact with ATV, but they bother me so much. They bother me in such an irrational way.
• I stopped reading the print Eagle and now only read the online Eagle rants. I'm so addicted.
• Library, MOOOREEEEEE OUTLETS PLEASE! Will settle for extension cords. Even like a rental system or tape them to the walls. I need my computer fully charged to rant!
• Tito is too cute of a cat for someone such as Charlie! EDITOR'S NOTE: I am offended! But he is very cute.
• I wish professors were less vague when assigning major assignments!
• I am legit LOLing at SEVEN of my friends who got Macs and now their batteries are shot to hell and no longer have warranties. Love my Dell and never had a problem with it!
• I wish that my parents would still pay for AU after I came out... It's gonna feel so nice to tell them after they have paid for both undergrad and law school ... Suck on that $250,000 worth of debt MOMMY AND DADDY!
• I really think you should have run Megan Lynch's letter to the editor rather than Alex Knepper's column. It was much more thought out and really was a better argument than that inflammatory columnist. I understand he brings people around, but he makes no sense. He just can't write.
• I JUST RAISED ONE EYEBROW! I NEVER USED TO BE ABLE TO! THIS IS SUCH AN EXCITING DEVELOPMENT IN MY LIFE!!!!!!
• Freshmen: You have shiny new computers with batteries that last for hours! You don't even bring your chargers to the library! WHY then must you take up one of the limited number of tables next to an available outlet?? Get out of my way!!!
• Can everyone shut up complaining about all the work they have to do before Thanksgiving? Everyone else is having the same problem.
• My roommate watches One Tree Hill every week and then scoffs and quickly turns off the TV when Gossip Girl comes on. I'm not sure why she thinks the umpteenth season of OTH is somehow "above" GG. They're both inane.
• I hate it when the sidewalks on campus (ESPECIALLY between McKinley and MGC) are deceivingly uneven and I trip and flail like a goon, trying to not fall over.
• I agree, I'd like to be able to cook with wine on campus, too! Then again, I'd also like it if the drinking age were lowered so I could buy the wine myself ...
• It would be so much easier to get over you if you weren't so freaking hot.
• Hey AU Economics Department: 19 sections of principles courses but only 4 of Intermediate? You could add another section of each just with the waitlists. Let the market function!
• Pro-tip: If you're from Jersey, don't add that you're from "the good part." You all say that, regardless of which part you're from, and it's still a lie either way. Your whole state sucks, and that's why you don't go to school there, like the rest of us.
• Dear boss, I know you're sick; why come in coughing and choking trying to get me sick?! Please stay home. No swine for me, please. Your work study student
• ALADIN has 11 copies of Audacity of Hope, but only one of Going Rogue. Biased much?
• The Centennial 2 kitchen is always disgusting and I always clean it. Why aren't people more considerate?
• Why can DSS put on programs about disabilities and sexuality but can't provide
And here begins an epic Rant subject, presumably someone who loves two Eagle editors but hates The Eagle ...
• What's the difference between The Blade and the Eagle? When the Blade shut down people cried.
• What's the difference between The Blade and the Eagle? One is highly regarded, well written paper that respects gay rights, the other is the official paper of American University.
• What's the difference between The Blade and the Eagle? The Blade reporters are all unemployed after having jobs. The Eagle Reporters are all unemployed after graduation.
• What's the difference between The Blade and the Eagle? The Eagle has an amazing guy named Charlie. The Blade doesn't. EDITOR'S NOTE: I'm flattered?
• What's the difference between The Blade and the Eagle? One has significant ad revenue, the other is the Blade.
• What's the difference between Jen Calantone and Sun Myung Moon? One is a crazy nut job that shouldn't be let anywhere near a newspaper, the other is an AU student who works very hard. EDITOR'S NOTE: Jen is flattered.
• What's the difference between the Blade and the Eagle? One is read by 8,000 people, the other is read by 12
• What's the difference between the Blade and the Eagle? One doesn't discriminate against gays, the other is the AU newspaper. EDITOR'S NOTE: See what I mean! I can't figure this guy out.
• AMERICAN! FUCK YEAH The Dav FUCK YEAH! Eagle's nest FUCK YEAH! SIS FUCK YEAH! Sonia FUCK YEAH! MacDonald's FUCK YEAH!! lame Frats FUCK YEAH! TDR FUCK YEAH! Library Nazi FUCK YEAH! FUCK YEAH
