Today's trending topics — Intelligent guy/girl def hooking up, AU males are insulted by girls complaints and the secrets to success!
Today's top rant — My steps to success at AU: 1. Don't attempt to do homework 2. Rant ridiculous shit instead 3. ????? 4. Profit
• It's always the quiet ones who end up being sex maniacs :D
• I wish AU didn't suck so much. I feel guilty for making my parents penniless for nothing.
• My best friend gave me, my roommate, my other friend and her roommate the swine. Thanks, bitch.
• I refuse to admit it in public, but gingers ARE HOT, especially in bed.
• Cute AU couple seeking third (female). If in relationship we are willing to trade. Cool, sex-positive people, please. Reply at seek.third@gmail.com.
• To the girl in our UC, Can you please take a hint and find other friends. You know, people who actually care about how horny you are. Please stop taking stalker pictures of us and inviting yourself into our lives. Get up and get out, we need a breath of fresh air.
• Riding the Metro with drunk people is fun. Especially when they want to make out with everything in sight.
• Why do the gay boys on my floor get all the action?
• Attention fellow ladies, skintight black leggings are NOT a supplementary good for pants. They are a complementary good. I don't care how skinny you are, it's not okay.
• To the whiner in my physics class, I keep coughing because I have bronchitis. I can't help it. If I had swine, I'd just stay home for 3 days. I can't stay home for a month until my bronchitis goes away. Jerk.
• Am I like still the only freshman staying off-campus? No ... seriously ... anybody else? holla back...
• Thomas Hobbes was such a fucking asshole...
• How white is AU? AU is so white, we have a white Othello!
• To the stranger who knocked on my door and gave me a cupcake: I basically love you.
• Dear Creepy Parking management guy: Yes, that's an AU parking sticker, stop trying to case my stuff in the backseat you creep.
• Intelligent girl with morals, We do, but isn't it a bit odd that we're initiating a discussion via Eagle Rants? A bit hypocritical and as liberal as I am rather elitist, perhaps?
• Dear female population of AU, You complain every fucking week about how bad the selection of guys is at AU. There's something you should know: we all aren't fuckin' Prince Charmings with hot bods to sweep you off you feet. Set realistic standards. Stop complaining and start noticing us. Just because we aren't tall, dark and handsome doesn't mean that we won't be great boyfriends.
• Why must they pave Viers Mill Road whenever it's rush hour, and I have to get to class? Oh wait, you on-campus folks won't have the slightest clue what I'm talking about. It probably doesn't bother you that Mass. Ave. has one lane blocked every week and yet STILL hasn't been repaved
• Is University Club really going to shut off the World Series to show Mission Improvable? You have the majority of the Tavern watching baseball, delay the start, it's not a big deal.
• I get that you're allowed to talk on the third floor of the library. You're still not allowed to scream. Just sayin'.
• phonathon = love don't be haters
• Today I skipped my class and didn't hand in a final paper proposal ... because I wanted to watch three hours of the Soap Opera Channel. The OC AND One Tree Hill?! Fantastic.
• I'm really sick of people ranting saying that they want to find intelligent people at this school. It's so arrogant and I wish The Eagle would leave out those rants.
• Halloween at Guapo's? Da LORD has answered muh prayerz!
• I think I'm the busiest student at AU busy trying to fit in my homework in between all the good parties and good pics.
• There is a serious lack of sexy males in the AUniverse.
• If you're really AU's busiest student, YOU DON'T HAVE TIME TO WRITE A BLURB ABOUT WHY YOURE SO BUSY. Damn, I have barely enough time to Eagle Rant. EDITOR'S NOTE: Apply for the honor at theeagleonline.com/busy
• Hey "real" frats, how about being nice for a change? Out of over 12 parties this semester, only Sammy and Zeta Psi helped me get back to campus without trying to 'do' me ... Ever tried that one before?
• Intelligent girl with morals, What do you propose? Intelligent guy with morals
• I am a senator and I want to apologize for how stupid we act sometimes ... erm ... all the time. Not all of us really believe the oversight and witch-hunts are actually productive. But if you have any concerns about what goes on around campus and want us to improve on it, we will be more than happy to listen.
• Dear Library, I love the remodel and the added tables, but can we please get some extension cords or something?
• Why yes I do have a rant....or three.... 1. Really? Are we that spoiled where two twin beds fitting in a room is "unacceptable" spoiled brats of the AU community? 2. They say if you clean a lot or chew ice you are sexually frustrated. I chew ice while I clean my apt. 3. I think society is going down the drain when we emphasize being skinny and not embracing your form. Plus, it's making me look bad. Stop making thicker girls look bad. Please?
• Why is it that every single professor's picture on the AU Web site looks terrible? Even Nate Harshman looks creepy and he's adorable in person!
• Since when do professors think that a class average of 75 on a test is a good grade?! NEWSFLASH! That's a C!
• I can't decide if my favorite word is existential or bocadillo. Can my sandwich be existential in itself?
• Smart, well-rounded, attractive, fun girl and I am single. Please do inquire within.
• I am feeling relatively inadequate lately. I think I need to go drink myself into a coma.
• Rants, your pretty freakin' awesome.
• Leonard 7 girls' bathroom: still missing a good portion of its ceiling. Why doesn't Housing and Dining/Facilities Management/our RA do something about it?!
