I hear Jeff Jones wants a hovercraft. That's why he needs the endorsements.
Can we get a Glee Club at AU? Not a real one, but just one that gets together to watch Glee together.
Why do box lunches only come with water or soda? Is fruit juice too much to ask?
Do the damn rent-a-cops not realize that in a library you turn down your little radios? Ugh. Peasants.
When I signed Sig Ep's beach ball did they get a little excited? I mean I know they're into that whole ball stuff...
We need to rename the Eagle, it needs to be "The Charlie" in honor of the greatest editor in the history of the paper. EDITOR'S NOTE: After Jen, that is.
IF the Crisis Pregnancy Centers are places that have no right dispensing medical advice and can't help, does that mean the Student Health Center is a Crisis Pregnancy Center?
Did the Washington Times buy the Eagle? Since when are people who are pro-choice considered pro-abortion? Is Pat Buchanan on your advisory board? EDITOR'S NOTE: AP Style confusion, not malicious intent led to that decidedly not-nice phrase making it into the paper.
Why is the shuttle service so racist? Why is the "Super Loop" white? Why couldn't it be the black route? Are there three Ks at the end of President Kerwin's name?
My Prof said, "The Library Should have SPSS." Guess what? They don't. Instead we have to go to that disgusting Hurst Lab. That pisses me off.
Dear Mr. B, You have the craziest accent I have ever heard and you made my day at the phonathon. Thank you very much for making the job a little bit more fun by pretending you were from Swaziland. I hope the $19.85 you gave goes to FANTASTIC use. Next time we chat I'll put on an accent too. You're ridiculous. ~Marky Mark
I plan to honor Hanson's AU visit in the same manner I always celebrate this great band: by killing a chicken with my bare hands.
Dear girl who sits next to me in physics - STOP COUGHING, I'M NOT TRYING TO GET THE SWINE!
To every person that DOESN'T wash their hands after going to the bathroom ... seriously?? You sicken me.
Hey skateboarders, your "sport" isn't real. And you damn well don't look cooler skating around the LA Quad-go back to middle school.
Dear Bryan Fantie, I enjoy your sarcastic wit, even if it inspires endless moaning in my classmates. Keep it up.
Dear guy who held back the drunk girls while my friend and I got off of the shuttle this weekend: Thank You. Way to take charge!
To the ranter who said AU has a lot of average people: The world is full of people with varying levels of intellect. Rather than feeling disappointed with the school, see this as an opportunity to rise above and shine; it's an opportunity you would never have at a bigger, more pretentious university.
I finally found a straight guy at AU. He's kind of a jerk... Too bad there's nobody else.
Dear Eagle, The length of Monday's Eagle Rants was far too short. At the phonathon, we don't have facebook, we don't have sunlight, we have eagle rants. I don't care if they're bad, I just need something to do... Love, the phonathon EDITOR'S NOTE: Then rant more! We put almost all we had in.
I want Melanie to teach me everything. Take that sexually.
Thank you. I know leather satchels are hot. That is why my name is Satchel, just minus the leather part.
DUDE I AM SO TIRED!
It's nice to finally have a roommate who isn't insane. I definitely prefer a lesbian roommate to a semi-anorexic one who creates imaginary drama and cheats on her boyfriend to fill the void created by her lack of personality. Thank you intersections RCC!
So anyone notice that all the corruption/incompetence in SG was completely related to 2 AEPi brothers?? Maybe they should spend less time popping champagne and more time being professional.
And the award for most annoying, wanna-be-frat-brahs, goes to... AEPi!!!!!
Dear cute boy from my class, Why don't we talk anymore? You probably think I'm not your type but I really might be! I hope I didn't scare you away. I'm usually just too nervous to say hi when I walk past you. Say hi to me next class. I'll strike up a conversation, I promise.
What is WRONG with the guys at this school?? Straight guys, you are CLEARLY the minority, and the probability that a girl would say yes if you asked her out is seriously skewed in your favor. A lot of us are single, nice, beautiful people so GROW SOME BALLS AND ASK US OUT.
Did anyone else fall asleep when the Dalai Lama was speaking? Waste of $25 tickets!!
Hey AU kids...so in high school you were nerds...this doesn't mean that all of the sudden because some lame frat boy let you [REDACTED] that you're cool.
I found long black hairs in my hairbrush....I have short blond hair. Thanks roommate....and roommates super nosy friend who seems to think that she can use my shit and I wont notice? AND ON THAT NOTE...I KNOW YOU SLEPT IN MY BED THAT ONE TIME! BITCH!
