There was a girl on the shuttle yesterday who literally took my breath away. She sat across from me wearing little tiny booty shorts. I'm sure she didn't go to AU.
How about instead of spending university money making the sidewalks bigger for no apparent reason, let's spend some money getting box lunches that don't taste like shit.
I tried to think of what AU Student Government has done this year ... after an hour I gave up.
Hey jerk sitting next to me, fat people are people too. Maybe if you spent time looking at something beside yourself you'd get that.
I support AU installing a slaughter pen in TDR, I want to see my meat breathing before it's on the plate.
I think "don't ask don't tell" should be an AU rule. Add on don't show as well.
I am a 24-year-old virgin. Is this bad?
Fundraising idea: public sorority strip poker.
Dear Housing and Dining, Why do you constantly lock the bridge between Leonard and McDowell? It's very inconvenient for all involved, and you should just allow the poor Leonard citizens to freely move from building to building like the Hughes/McDowell residents. Love, All of Leonard
The Eagle's Web site is not a place to have fights using comments.
What kind of moron came up with the idea of an Eagle Twitter? I mean really? Was someone smoking a bit too much pot?
Honestly, who still talks about DragonBallZ? I swear I'm going to go Super Saiyan on the next dweeb who mentions it.
Dear Eric Horton, Why are you so beautiful ... WHY!!!!!???
To the guys on Anderson Terrace North who don't flush, pee on the seat, etc. I thought you should know that since the beginning of the semester I have been putting my bodily fluids on your doorknobs with alarming regularity. Hope you have better manners when it comes to washing your hands.
Speaking as a vegetarian, I find it rather annoying to hear vegetarians and vegans alike complaining about the lack of options for them at AU. First of all, not true, there are a number of options. Second of all, you have decided to restrict your diet in a way that the majority of the population does not. That said - it is your responsibility to find ways to satisfy your dietary needs. This might involve cooking your own food or going grocery shopping.
Guapos = top 10 places on earth. I'm not even kidding.
Dear tall, near-sighted, quiet girl with the glasses, There is something just damn sexy about you. I want to rock your world.
I love the fact that AU is nerdy. Nerdy boys are sweet and adorable.
Dear TDR, Try putting out the tongs with the food so we don't have to stare at the food and wait until you bring out the tong. Gracias
It would be nice if this university paid even half as much attention to the students that actually go here as they do to the prospective ones.
Dear Editor Charlie, Saying that you are very single was not a cool move. Maybe you should have said something a little less obvious. -The poster of an average of five published rants a week - you know who it is. Dear Package Lady, If you'd looked a little harder the other night, you would have realized that I did have a package - it was just mislabeled, off by one letter. I was so disappointed when you turned me away with no box. The AU mail system is f***ed up enough already; why be another glitch in the system? Peace, Little Lady
I wish I had time to sleep as much as my roommate.
To all the anti-Coke activists: Though I respect your efforts to make the company atone for its sordid past, I will be forced to morph into über-bitch-mode if I can no longer get my daily Diet Coke fix.
To the redhead who I met at the Phonathon, I really wish you would work more shifts with me ;)
To the bitter woman with glasses and brown hair I LOVE YOU. To the chocolate lover with black hair and glasses I LOVE YOU MORE. Tough choices for me I know. Too bad you aren't twins.
I spent some time off-campus this weekend and started to love life. Then I came back to Anderson Hall and watched my friend puke into the sink. FML.
I was once honestly proud to call myself a Democrat. After coming to this school and seeing the very ultra-liberals, I am more inclined to agree with the Republican Party. Thanks AU. I guess I've been scared straight.
To the skinny guy in the white shades who rides a red bike: you are the most attractive person on this campus. Are you into guys?
To my ex ... If only I had the courage to tell you to your face we can't be friends. I'm too nice of a person to let you go ... but you dumped me remember? I just want the day to come when you will realize how good you had it and that you will never ever get me back! Good luck finding a girl half as good.
To the people singing horribly in the Centennial Parking Garage: ENOUGH! It's bad enough your singing is awful and I'm trying to read this boring psychology textbook. But, no, you couldn't stop there. You had to be singing a Spice Girls song. It's double torture to my eardrums! The garage is not a karaoke bar!
Hey, roomie. Would it kill you to invest in headphones? Seriously. Your music annoys me.
To all the desperate, dateless people, The Eagle rants?! Really?
Oh man ... how sweet was that weather on Saturday! Too bad the idiot greeks took over most of the quad!
Dear roommate, You'd probably be a decent person if you weren't a phony, passive-aggressive, judgmental bitch. But that's why you don't have any friends. Have a nice life!
Attention Ranting Nose Picker: If I ever see you picking your nose and eating it, I swear that I will kill you. Right there on the spot. And when I get to prison and tell people why I have been incarcerated they will congratulate me and I will become their leader.
Boy with glasses from my World Politics class: I have a crush on you, but I am too nervous to talk to you.
I found my Prince Charming. And then found out he's gay.
When I came to AU I was very open minded and tolerant. After two years of attending this school I have come to hate every individual, race, religion, culture, sexuality etc., including myself. Fuck this place.
I don't understand what the big deal is, we were both drunk and she was talking about politics or some shit. How was I supposed to know she was 16!
"I like girls that wear Abercrombie and Fitch" and "Chinese food makes me sick" are two of the worst lyrics ever written. If I ever saw that guy on the street who wrote them I would gladly accept any prison sentence that came as a result of beating him to death.
How come no one ever wants to ask me on a date over Eagle Rants? Am I not good enough? I want to be loved too :-(
This is the second time those drunk AEPi losers have torn something off of my door, likely out of anger that they clearly weren't getting laid last Friday. Thank you for reconfirming my belief that all you frat boys are retarded 6-year-olds.
Dear Subway, Not only could you not bake bread today (Sunday) and forced me to eat that crappy cheese bread, could you please give me more than 2 tomatoes on my footlong sub and more than two pieces of turkey next time. Oh, and maybe cut my sandwich in half? You're the only establishment at this university that has somewhat edible food (at least on a good day after what happened today).
