For every rant below this one, I will donate 10 cents.
I kind of got wasted this weekend and accidentally went home with some random dude. Let's just say, I had to call the cops. Great story, but FML.
Don't you love when you're struggling through a paper and then all of a sudden... it's time for a nice long quote? Your fingers fly as you read from a book and type out that quote, filling up that horrible white space in your essay with someone else's words. I just love the feeling. Or maybe it's the Adderall.
So today I went to dinner with the girl that I've been hooking up with for a while. I noticed that she was only picking at her food and asked if TDR was leaving her unfulfilled. Her response, "Yeah, kind of like you."
Holden Caulfield, where have you gone? Your replies to the ridiculous rants were almost as ridiculous as the rants themselves.
Thank you to The Eagle for being a decent source of amusement for the students stuck in the Phonathon room for hours at end.
I just looked up Erik with the Panda on Facebook. He's "OK" but not that great, Kristian with an eagle shirt on is amazing!
If I have one more 15-page paper as a FILM student, I'm going to cut a bi**hes throat.
To everyone that complains about student government all the time: how about actually getting involved?
Everyone here who posts anonymous comments to their roommates has SERIOUS communication issues. You can't just expect your life to get better if you sulk about it. This is what's wrong with college students, they just expect things can get better or they can get out of them by complaining. TALK to your roommate, it's a skill that is necessary for your life. Grow up.
There are six fraternities that live on my floor, and out of all of them, AEPi is the only one that has to cause trouble. Why are you such jerks?! (Now that I think about it, Pike isn't much better, but at least they're not assholes). Except, I do love you, Josh Cook.
To the LFO-Hater: Back off. Just because your eardrums have been deafened by that awful screamo music you listened to all throughout middle school doesn't mean you should be allowed to deprive me of my favorite guilty pleasure band.
Clear your throat one more time, bitch.
Why is it that people at AU lie about their GPA and grades? I saw someone's grade on a test and for kicks and giggles I asked them later what they got. They quickly morphed the "C" to an "A". I mean really ...
Hey Flame, Try to keep Righty out of sight more often, he's not meant to see the sun so often. Tired of Seeing Your Anatomy, Splash
This guy who sits in front of me in China, Japan and the U.S. class SMELLS! He needs to learn that just because you have a collared shirt on does not mean that you don't need to S-H-O-W-E-R!
To people who believe that their political beliefs are THE only ones and that think they will change the world. Chances are: You probably won't do shit. Just shut up about politics every once in a while and enjoy life.
Yesterday I heard someone from AU tell a prospect, "We have a lot of Japanese people here, but they mostly hang out together. They go to Japone." REALLY? Are you REALLY that stupid?
I'm still really pissed off that Barney Frank is going to be the SPA speaker.
Morgan Block is damn fine. He needs to run shirtless more often. Let's hang out, son.
To all guys on campus, earrings on guys are so HOTTTT!!!!! But not two, that is too much. Just one, preferably left ear, and either a big fake diamond or a silver stud. SIMPLY IRRESISTABLE!!!!
To the girl that I watched "Marley and Me" with, I'm sorry for crying but it was just too sad. I am not a baby I just have a sensitive side that I want you to get to know.
Why does it seem like AU assumes we don't need to eat on the weekends? I would love to be able to eat a Subway sub after I get back from going out and sometimes I wake up before 11 a.m. and want some breakfast!
To girl in the lounge, getting a voicemail from a guy you like isn't that big of a deal. Stop yelling obnoxiously about it like you have been for half the evening. I have relevant things to care about beyond the guy you met at Guapo's this weekend. Thanks, Everybody.
Dear "Thomas Williams" from a previous rant, I love brave men. Will you meet me sometime in the Tav and we'll dip tenders together??? Jim, the Cisco Kid
SG-ClusterF@$%! continues --- Bring back Joe Viddy.
I've been in total lust with this guy in one of my classes since January. I recently ran into him at a bar and randomly made-out with him. Dreams come true, friends. Dreams come true!
Cute boy reading philosophy in the Tavern - I love your pint-size jacket, and I'm glad that someone else reads Questionable Content here.
Okay, people next door. I've put up with your idiotic babbling for an entire semester. You have constantly pushed me to the brink of tears when you refused to shut up at two in the morning. And yet, I have tried to keep cool. And now we have 24-hour quiet hours. So I have this to say: Shut up. Now.
I want more of my rants posted!
"The Greeks" were using the quad on that beautiful day to raise money for lymphoma!
Student Government needs to work more like moveon.org or at least like any other student group on campus and send out weekly e-mails!
Why should I be paying more for double-siding my papers!? I want to help out the environment and save the school money!
I hate Coca-Cola for some of their business practices, but RC Cola is nasty.
I am very sick of all the smokers here at AU. I understand that they are addicted but why do the have to do it at the entrance of every building? I'm sick of the smell of cigarettes. I swear every time I walk out of MGC I walk straight into a cloud of smoke.
In response to hatin' on sweat pants: I'm not an athlete, but I like sweats. They are comfortable. And just because I have more important things to do than go shopping 24/7 and plan cute outfits for every day of the week doesn't give you the right to judge. Try them on, chill out, it feels good.
The other day I was sexually assaulted by a TDR worker. It was a dream come true.
I want to stand up in my gen ed and tell my professor that he should quit acting so self-righteous because there's absolutely no difference between him and a glorified high school teacher. Congrats on teaching the 100s, man.
To they guy I met at the GW frat party. You made out with my roommate. I don't take leftovers. Goodbye.
When I friend you on Facebook, I'm probably just trying to figure out if you're straight.
It is the LIBRARY, if I ask you to be quiet, you are not allowed to respond, "Well if you asked nicely maybe I would." It is the library, I am not your mother, I shouldn't have to ask at all ... even on the third floor, which for some reason our enlightened administration deems "not quiet." P.S. If you haven't been in the library prior to finals, you're not allowed to take my seat.
Women's Initiative, I applaud you on wanting to bring sex education to campus. I'm sure it will be very helpful to students throughout their lives. However, I wish to not have to read about female orgasms while eating my Chick-Fil-A nuggets.
The day I stop ranting is the day I lose my freedom!
When did Eagle Rants get so overly sexualized? I say leave the blatantly hitting on people for the dance floor at Guapo's.
I met this cute girl after 11 a.m. mass. She's been talking to me, chatting with me and I've been nice back. She's hinted about going out to dinner a few times. However, I'm gay. Do I tell her now and then she tells the rest of students? What to do, what to do.
