It really hurts when I have sex. Is this normal?
-Ouch! It Hurts
Dear Ouch,
Listen, I totally understand where you're coming from. I too came across this situation once and found different ways to help myself out.
First of all, if it's your first, second or maybe even third time having sex it could definitely still hurt. You just have to give yourself time to adjust to this, uh, new lifestyle.
If this is your first time, it happens to all girls and it will hurt. I'm sorry if this is off-putting, but I am forewarning you that it can be an uncomfortable first experience. I mean if I were you, I'd wait until you're comfortable with someone enough so that you could guide them to say no this hurts, go slower and so on. It is important to let your partner know if something is really hurting you.
If it is still hurting after some time, there are a couple different methods you can try. One, are you getting enough foreplay? Your body needs to be ready for penetration. Foreplay allows the vaginal walls to become more lubricated, and thus more slip and slide-able.
If this doesn't work, try buying some lube. Even if your condom says "lubricated," sometimes it's just not enough. You can put the lube on him or inside yourself. Make sure you buy water based lubricants and that you are not using anything oil-based. Oil-based lubricants can break down latex condoms.
Anyway, I'm very serious about making things slide properly, because if you continue to have painful sex it will not be enjoyable and you could damage yourself. The chances of getting a urinary tract infection from non-lubricated, rough sex are high.
So be careful and make sure you are in open communication with your partner!
I'm not sure when to use lubricated condoms and when to use ribbed ... HELP!
-Hot and Horny
Hey Horny,
I'm glad that you are using condoms. Keep up the good work! I'm also glad that you are bringing up the lube topic.
Condoms come in all different types. Most are latex, and I suggest using latex condoms because they are stronger than condoms made from polyurethane.
Now you should probably always try and use lubricated condoms. You can even get condoms that are lubricated with spermicide! A tip about spermicidal condoms, though: they are not to be used for anal sex. Also, the spermicide most commonly used, nonoxynol-9, can cause irritation.
Ribbed condoms enhance the pleasure for both partners because of the extra friction and added sensation in general.
To answer your question, Horny, it is really up to you to decide what type of condom you want to use. There are so many different kinds (even warm sensations lubricated condoms!) that it's up to your discretion. All I ask is that you keep using them!
Now before I go into a lube discussion, I'd like to quickly tell you how to put a condom on. Here's an easy way to know if it's going on the right way. If it looks like a witch's hat, it is wrong. If it looks like a sombrero, then it's right. Hold the reservoir tip and gently roll the condom down making sure there are no air pockets. Finally, make sure it is comfortably situated and not about to fall off. Warning: DO NOT wear two condoms. DO NOT! It will cause too much friction and the condoms will break.
Now let's move on to lube. Did you know KY Jelly was meant for use in the gynecologist's office and not necessarily as something to use during intercourse? Make sure you buy a water-based lubricant. Water-based lubricants are the closest you can get to a female's natural lubrication. Plus, as aforementioned, water-based lubricants do not wear down condoms like oil-based do. Check and see if there is glycerin in the lube you're buying, since people sometimes have a reaction to glycerin and get yeast infections. Don't be afraid of lube - it can really make all the difference.
Do people really have sex in the dorm showers?
- Am I Bathing in Sperm
Dear Bathing in Sperm,
I think this is an excellent time to have a poll. Everyone out there who reads this column, send me your anonymous response! As usual, e-mail Mia.Libido@gmail.com or drop your responses in the box outside of The Eagle office, Mary Graydon Center 252! I'm really serious about this one. Let me know - do you or have you had sex in the AU showers?
Keep on splurging your questions and comments my way!
