NAIROBI, Kenya -- The sun was just beginning to sink into the horizon as I made my way through a cloud of burning garbage smoke billowing over a vine-covered wall on my way home from a meeting at my program coordinator's office. A man sitting in the back of a truck yelled to me. "Mzungu!" (white person), he shouted. Turning, I yelled, "Mwafrika!" (African person).
That day, I was just not in the mood for being told the color of my skin for the hundredth time. Most days, though, one phrase would pop into my head - tolerance of cultural ambiguity. It's one taken straight from the lips of one of my AU professors, and it's one I attempt to live by as I live here in Nairobi.
But just as often as that phrase enters my mind, I find myself wondering: Where is the line between tolerating cultural misunderstandings and silently condoning unacceptable behaviors?
Should it be acceptable for people to point and yell "white person" as I pass on the street? Should I be indifferent to the many catcalls I receive during my daily commute? What about cultural practices I disagree with? How do I confront those?
For me, however, the most startling instances of cultural clashes come during discussions about the deep-seeded attitudes of people who outwardly seem educated and progressive by Kenyan standards.
Not long ago, I was speaking with one of my coworkers, and he remarked that in Kenya, wives used to not know their husbands loved them if they did not beat them and that they wanted to be beaten.
He continued on to say that husbands should continue to beat their wives nowadays because it's tradition, and when I questioned him as to whether or not he would beat his wife, he failed to give me a direct answer.
This man works for an extremely progressive non-profit organization here in Kenya. He has a girlfriend, a seemingly talented and independent young woman. He is very educated and has several university degrees.
Why, then, does he continue to hold such misogynistic views of women? Why does he fail to adopt more progressive attitudes about gender relations? And why should I continue to tolerate the attitudes he expresses toward women?
Any time we discuss gender issues in the workplace, I make sure to be vocal about my disagreements and attempt to provide logical arguments. To me, this is where I draw the line. And while I need to continue to determine where that line falls day after day, I feel strongly that it is part of my role in this intercultural exchange to point out the cultural inconsistencies and inhumane behaviors that my coworker feels are natural and acceptable.
The importance of tolerance in intercultural exchange certainly has its place, but I'm beginning to see that there is a distinct difference between acknowledging misunderstandings and blindly accepting certain practices that clearly violate human rights as "cultural."
With this distinction in mind, I'm learning to fight my battles against mistreatment as they come, and in fighting these battles, I hope that my intercultural exchanges become more valuable and productive, both for me and for those with whom I interact.
You can reach this columnist at thescene@theeagleonline.com.
