Well, now that we know that the Nats' new official mascot is Screech, let's look at other ideas that didn't quite make the final cut.
10. Larry the Lobbyist - Larry would be more than welcome to give you a free T-shirt, take a picture with the kids, or dance around. However he's really going to need your support to keep the government's hands off our guns.
9. John Kerry - Anyone who could lose an election to George W. deserves to dance around while people snap pictures of him.
8. Paul the Protester - A crowd favorite, Paul, with long unwashed hair, a bandana over his mouth, and emergency numbers written on his leg, would come out in the fourth inning and protest, leading chants like "One, two, three, four we don't want your racist war!" and "Hey Hey Ho Ho George Bush has got to go!" In the fifth inning he'd be pepper-sprayed and arrested by security.
7. Danny the Diplomat - Driving a golf cart with diplomat's plates, Danny would drive recklessly around the RFK corridors, pegging fans with free T-shirts to people in line getting food. However, due to diplomatic immunity, Danny would not be held responsible for any property damage.
6. Chuck the Cherry Blossom - The most popular mascot for the first few weeks of the season, Chuck would eventually stop blooming and people would stop caring. He'd end up in the upper deck, drowning his sorrows in a $6 beer.
5. Bill the Bureaucrat - This balding, middle-aged undersecretary of agriculture would always throw out Nationals T-shirts. First, though, fans would need to initial here, here and here, sign here and put an "x" here. Also, fans would have to bring a notary public to the games. And three forms of ID.
4. Johnny the Georgetown Student - Johnny wouldn't have been a crowd-pleaser, since he would never go to the game. He'd be out driving his late-model BMW, with his collar popped, talking on the newest cell phone on the market. But don't fear, he's going to get a job at his daddy's law firm after graduation.
3. Andy the AU student - Andy also wouldn't have been very popular. He'd have a strong dislike for Johnny and would constantly be muttering under his breath about choking on his SATs. Let's just say Andy has some issues.
2. Youppi! - Youppi!, the former Expos mascot, was actually the first choice for the new Nats mascot position, but he turned it down. He felt the Expos had been slighted as a team, that the Expos could have worked if Major League Baseball had tried harder, and was generally sick of the whole situation. And he couldn't get a green card.
1. Jodi Comstock - Every game, she would run out on the field in the middle of the game and cut the third base and bullpen positions, citing that the money would be used more efficiently elsewhere.
Compiled by the Eagle Sports staff. Have a Countdown idea? E-mail : Sports@TheEagleOnline.com.
