Out at my first Republican bar, even the drinks were conservative. Smith Point, Georgetown's young Republicans' mating post, is the perfect place to find your trust fund baby or future first lady. The dress code for Republican heaven: For the men there were pink polo shirts, collar up, golf pants and, oh, the girls were proper princesses sporting Southern charm, spouting off blowjob stories at the bar.
I needed a shot - correction: I needed four shots. After a few stern shooters I was ready to mingle. Over my left shoulder I spotted him in his black North Face fleece: the epitome of the Georgetown "frat" boy. He was charming, tall, with dark, shaggy, brown hair and sharp blue eyes. Of course the politics and sex came together over a few Southern Comfort and lime shots.
"So who is better in bed," he asked. "Republicans or Democrats?"
"Definitely Democrats..." I replied.
And then he wanted me to explain my answer.
When you take a Republican to bed, even the most attractive man mutates from a possible proposition to the next Newt Gingrich. There's something about people's conservative politics in the bar that's directly reflected in their attitude and personality in the sheets. When it comes to sex, liberal is best.
With the country's conservative win yesterday, can Americans separate our voting politics and our bedroom politics? While the GOP has its share of moderate studs, its underlying Christian Coalition politics have overly involved religion into a land defined by its separation of church and state. As a woman wanting abortion to stay safe and legal and abstinence training to become orgasm training, who would want all that conservative baggage in their bed?
Now, worst-case scenarios in place - when the condom breaks or the pull-out method fails college students, both Republican and Democrats are left with heavy decisions to make. The stance most popular within the Republican Party is one of anti-abortion politics. Does that leave these young women with babies at the polls and married to the sperm donor? Or is the pro-life protestor also a woman at the waiting room at the local Planned Parenthood? My reproductive rights belong to me, and no one's politics should be able to interfere with my body or my box.
Democrats and Republicans, for the most part, can't get along on the Senate floor and, in many cases, they aren't compatible sexually either. While in some instances opposites attract, this is not so when liberals and conservatives hit the sack. No matter how much you try to hide your conservative or liberal beliefs, it all comes out when the clothes come off.
While the Republican stud in your midst may seem like the ideal boyfriend-to-be, sometimes differing ideologies can burst the fantasy.
Can politics be put aside for the sake of hot sex?
Well, pillow talk is a disaster. Living in the nation's capital, you can't help but be dragged into the political mud-wrestling mess. Most college students living in the District have worked on the Hill, at lobbying firms or think tanks. When one spends their days slaving over C-SPAN, they tend to talk about their work, in and out of bed. Or, if one works for a pro-choice group or did work for the Kerry campaign, politics on abortion and birth control tend to follow liberals into the sheets.
If you love the Bush, you're not getting in my bed. It's not simply that I'm partisan, but certain beliefs can't be sacrificed even for the sake of hot sex.
Why do I insist on a liberal attitude in my bedroom?
When it comes to the core beliefs that define most bedroom politics, an open-minded attitude is required. Liberals are famous for being noisy, for speaking their minds loud and clear about what they do and do not like. Being vocal helps both parties get what they want and leave the bedroom sexually satisfied. Being loud and being able to openly communicate is the perfect recipe for guaranteed gratification. If you want to spice things up with a pinch of kinkiness or a splash of chocolate syrup, a loud liberal man makes for the best sex. When it comes to sex, I'd say that the Democrats are the speakers of the House.
But while you may have voted along party lines in this election, you may not vote that way off of the ballot.
Now, I have left much of my politics out of the bedroom in the past. The sex was definitely conservative. When it comes to dating and sleeping with Republicans, I've found compatibility lacking. I'll vote Democrat any day.
Now, Republicans aren't all bad; in fact, those old-fashioned GOP politics can make for a chivalrous and romantic man. The stereotypical Republican Romeo is a man of traditional values, opening doors and paying for dinner, incorporating all those nice, WASPy, country club values off the golf course and into bed. But as pleasant and polite as your GOP prince may be, there's no getting the cock until after the wedding bells and the rock.
While I can spend the evening taking shots and schmoozing with the sexy Republican men at Smith Point or any other bar, I know that I can't take them home. I vote against Republicans in my bed. But don't take my word for it. Research for yourself. Try out a conservative or a liberal and experiment with bedroom politics. After all, it worked for James Carville and Mary Matalin, the famous Clinton and Bush campaign managers who fell in love and are now one of the hottest political couples on Capitol Hill.
But can others embrace a bipartisan bedroom?
With the election just decided, politics are dominating bar and bedroom conversation. Both mainstream party candidates were hoping to win the votes of college students, but unfortunetly many in our age bracket did not make their political voice heard. [The debates showed their MTV sides, and the press gave the candidates a chance to answer to the people. If you were not persuaded by their promises of education reform, national security or healthcare, just think - would you rather sleep with Bush or Kerry? Despite Bush winning the White House, I am still keeping Bush out of my box.
Jessica Bacharach is a senior journalism major and women's studies minor. Caught with your pants down runs every Thursday.
sex@theeagleonline.com
