The thrills of being a 10-year old

Roll Right

When I was a little kid, I used to play with my neighborhood friends out in the front yard. It was the classic suburban neighborhood and we had free roam of the streets. I remember one time we dragged a log out of the woods and put it in the middle of the road so that when cars would try to drive by, they would have to stop and move the log. It was stupid. But we were kids and we loved making adults crazy. After putting the log in the street, we would scamper off to our hiding spot in the woods with uncontainable excitement. What would the driver do! Would they get mad? Would they run over the log? Would they try to come after us? What would be the look on their faces? Oh, the thrills of being a 10-year-old!

It reminds me of two articles in The American Journal. You have a bunch of kids with a lot of extra time on their hands doing something outlandish just to get a reaction. They criticize a respected segment of the campus and then hide out in their dorm rooms waiting for the reaction. What will the College Republicans do if we slander their successful year! Will they get mad? Will they come after us in The Eagle? What will be the look on their faces? Oh, the thrills of being a 10-year-old!

You know what happened when the first car pulled up to that log in the middle of the road? The driver laughed, got out of the car and made us move the log. You know what happened when I read The American Journal? (Yes, you there, the editor sneering in your dorm room by yourself). I also laughed. But I don't expect anyone to right their wrongs, mostly because I am confident they are sufficiently blinded by their jealousy and love for a good scandal.

The small crowd at The American Journal, however, made two mistakes. No. 1: they criticized me and my friends the day before my last editorial comes out in The Eagle. No. 2: they spelled my name wrong. And for the latter, there is no excuse! Of course, I'm joking around. But if you're going to bash me, at least spell my name right. Everybody now, I-N-G-A-N-A-M-O-R-T.

The controversy between the AU College Republicans and a few jaded rogues is a whole lot of fluff and very little substance. Repeat after me, it is not about conservatism. My conservative credentials are solid and cannot be challenged by anyone thinking straight. If you took the time to read my column this past semester, you noticed that I dreamed of the day social security would be privatized. I challenged Democrats for not taking terrorism as seriously as President Bush. I used sound reasoning, not vitriolic language, to explain the benefits of opportunity scholarships.

If you took the time to attend the many events sponsored by the AU College Republicans this year, you would know that we are all about conservatism. Sure, we go ice-skating and have coffee at Starbucks, but we also travel to Kentucky to elect a conservative Republican as governor. We attended CPAC every day it was held. We protested Howard Dean at a rally during the first week of school and we marched for the unborn just yesterday.

So if it's not about conservatism, what is it about? It's partly about campus politics, the one thing about AU that really annoys me. But it's also about how we, the College Republicans, can open up this liberal campus to a new way of thinking. It seems like some people prefer to engage in debate by talking louder, humiliating their opponent and walking away. Then you lose the debate, your friends and your respect. But hey, if it's for your warped sense of intellectual debate - let all other people be damned!

There is, dare I say, a handful of people on campus that think being conservative is about wearing ties, positioning your nose so that it is sufficiently above others, and having a serious face at all times. I don't subscribe to that logic, and that is why I am a happy person. I talk fast. I smile a lot. I listen to Fleetwood Mac. And it's that sort of thing that makes your blood boil. After all, to me conservatism is a force for positive, uplifting change. Conservatism empowers people; it doesn't condemn them for holding different beliefs. You heard it here first: next year the College Republicans are going to work their tails off, and we're going to do it with smiles on our faces. So share the love and join the College Republicans.

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