There will be several billion more guests at graduation than originally predicted. But don't expect these guests to slip you a $50 bill, well wishes and some tongue on the cheek like your great aunt Myrtle. The deluge of cicadas that will overrun the D.C. area in May are here for one purpose: to mate.
Some may say that college students are here for the same reason. It is this kindred spirit that binds students and cicadas together, though some of us might wish to have sex more than once every 17 years. But the cicada invasion of 2004 is a rare treat, for it does only come around once every blue moon, and aren't we lucky to be here for it?
While this will be nothing short of an invasion, the AU campus must be receptive to these fleeting, flying guests. Cicadas don't bite, sting or harbor malice toward any species. Of course, they may be shocked when they emerge after almost two decades underground. The world has changed since then, and we must be prepared to help them adjust to such new things as increased federal security, text messaging and Anna Nicole Smith.
In order to properly prepare for the invasion, we encourage the Student Confederation to initiate a Cicada Awareness Week for the first week of May. That way, the student body can learn about the insects - like how they make loud noises all hours of the day but are not dangerous, how they are colorful but omnipresent and how they are both a wonder and a plague of nature.
Though many students will be gone for the summer by the time our flying friends arrive, be prepared and respectful when the invasion happens. Also, cicadas are rare delicacies that can be roasted, grilled, fried or prepared any number of ways. So for all you students complaining about the high price of TDR...
