I assume every decent college or university has them. We all know the type: The ones who say ridiculously random and offensive things just to say them - not to improve dialogue or fuel a debate. It's kind of like me mocking sororities, but on a much larger scale. Being an avid reader of The Eagle and, occasionally, of Benladner.com ("AU's top tier news and views source," ha, ha), it's clear to me that AU's No. 1 "stunna" when it comes to being nasty is certainly Tim Meyer.
Perhaps you caught his recent editorial in this fine news publication that referred to the two sides of the abortion debate as "the pro-life movement and those who advocate for the murder of the unborn." Ooh, nasty! I didn't know I was pro-murder. Furthermore, I didn't know that the majority of Americans were also pro-murder. That's what America is, just a bunch of people trying to emulate Hitler. The editorial concluded by claiming that "abortion is illegal, both under U.S. law and in the highest of courts." Um? If Tim Meyer wants to be "anti-choice," or "pro-enslavement of women," that's really his prerogative. But abortion is illegal under U.S. law? How does this stuff not get edited out? His editorials and my column certainly serve as evidence that Eagle editors are asleep at the wheel. (Just kidding! Please don't edit this out!)
On Benladner.com, Meyer has taken issue with "The Vagina Monologues," claiming that his student activity fees pay for "the promotion of non-traditional ideas regarding sexuality and human behavior."
What's so non-traditional about vaginas? Women have had vaginas for generations. Vaginas are older than the Judeo-Christian traditions that Meyer holds dear. Perhaps he is referring to "Monologues'" vivid descriptions of vaginas doing things like secreting fluids and being penetrated by penises. That can't be it either; vaginas have been traditionally doing that since Adam did the nasty with Eve. For someone who loves the Judeo-Christian ethic, it surprises me that Meyer doesn't respect the human vagina as one of the most beautiful, if not one of the most mysterious, of God's creations.
I'll give Tim some credit. I agree with him that all this vagina talk can be uncomfortable. I'll admit that when I was younger, I couldn't even say the word "vagina" without embarrassment. It's just a dirty-sounding word. That's why "The Vagina Monologues" are important. They make female sexuality (even sexuality within the glorious confines of marriage!) more accepted. To show my support for "The Vagina Monologues," I have made up for all those years of being unable to say "vagina" by saying it as many times as I possibly can within the space of one column.
Vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina, vagina.
I would continue, but typing so many v's and a's is getting tiresome.
Obviously, I disagree with Meyer's viewpoints on just about everything. However, why should I write about him? I wouldn't call it a stretch to claim that Meyer is really looking for attention - very negative attention considering the liberal atmosphere here at AU. Well, I write with a purpose. I have always reveled in saying offensive things. I am also a complete attention whore. Therefore, I am announcing my candidacy to be AU's next kook. I think I can handle the job. A combination of irreverence and a lack of tact? Oh, yeah. I can handle that.
Where should I begin? How about comparing Bush to Hitler? That's one that riles everyone up. I, of course, think the comparison is totally unfair. Hitler was a far better orator. I mean, have you even seen "Triumph of the Will"? Wow, that guy could talk!
How about the criticisms that AU gets for having too many liberal professors? That's a fun one. Like conservative people are really interested in helping people. If the conservatives teach students their dirty little tricks, then those same kids could end up making more money than them! Of course, that argument is moot. The more educated someone is, the more likely they are to be liberal. Since being a professor requires a hell of an education, it seems fairly obvious to me that there would be a larger pool of liberal professors than conservative ones. I mean, dumb people voting Republican shouldn't surprise anyone - just look at the South.
Those two seem like a good launching point for me. I can't wait to be Al Franken to Tim Meyer's Rush Limbaugh! An epic battle indeed! And since I turn 21 next Saturday, let's end this column with a toast to pro-choice, vaginas and the Judeo-Christian tradition of talking when you don't know what the hell you're talking about.
