From the makers of the "Got beer?" campaign comes the new "Got Prostate Cancer?" campaign, spearheaded by large billboards with the face of recently afflicted New York City Mayor Rudy Guiliani.
Pretty funny, eh? I mean, Guiliani could die from this. That's just downright hilarious. That's almost as funny as the whole concept of encouraging people to drink beer instead of milk, because beer drinking is a great message for the kids. Got common sense?
The inventor of this campaign is People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals. Bruce Friedrich, a spokesperson for PETA, said in a Washington Post story last Saturday, "We are promoting compassion toward animals with our 'milk sucks' campaign." Hmm, compassion, you say. I could make a second grade argument that, well, humans are animals, being mammals and all. I could do that but I'm not going to. In fact, I don't have to make any argument to show how absolutely ludicrous PETA's campaign is.
I am in no way a vegetarian. In fact, I firmly believe that cows only reason to exist is to make hamburgers and something to put on my cereal. I've "got milk" and I firmly believe that it "does a body good." So, looking at my profile, I'm obviously the person that PETA is targeting in its ads. Will I now stop eating meat and drinking milk? Nope. If anything, it makes me so angry that I want to barbecue up some rare and exotic animal, like the, I don't know, White Flag Dolphin or maybe some Eastern Puma. I don't really have a desire to eat cat or dolphin, but I know it would piss off the folks at PETA. Got steak sauce?
And what is little Andrew Guiliani supposed to think? He was immortalized by the late Chris Farley on "Saturday Night Live." I can just imagine him driving with his father and seeing this billboard. "Dad, are you going to die?" he asks. Aww, thanks PETA, it's always good to make a child think his father is going to die. It's not hard to shock people into thinking meat is bad. Why can't they just show the way the animals are treated? Show a cow being killed. Show a chicken being beheaded. It's graphic. It's gruesome. It's dramatic. Making a joke out of someone who has a potentially fatal illness is just downright evil. I have friends who are vegans and animal rights activists who hate Guiliani and they agree that PETA has gone too far. I mean, you don't see an anti-abortion campaign with a picture of a pregnant woman and a sign that says, "Got hangers?" Yeah, that's evil to say as well, but you don't see the right wingers or the Christian Coalition saying it.
The credibility of PETA is lost with me forever. Even if its next campaign was something that was dramatically sad and showed someone beating a cat, and the head of PETA personally offered me $400 to not eat meat, I would not be affected. In fact, I'd be shopping that day for $400 worth of meat, just in spite. As I write this, I'm thinking to myself that in all good conscience, I cannot advocate eating meat just for the sake of eating meat. If you don't like the robust tasty flavor of your favorite meat product, don't eat it. If you like to eat your cereal dry and crappy, without milk, then by all means, don't drink the white gold. It really doesn't matter to me either way, and as I figure, it just means more for me. All I ask is that you put your prejudices against Rudy Guiliani aside and stand up and boycott PETA and its ridiculous ad campaigns. Got Milk? I sure do.
