Chicken & Lawfuls: Five people you meet in law school

Mom said you shouldn’t judge people, but law school’s a different case.

Chicken & Lawfuls: Five people you meet in law school

Law school attracts Type A personalities. That’s well established. But in my first two years, I discovered some intricate distinctions among the Type As. If you’re in an 80-person 1L course or a small eight-person seminar, one thing is constant: you will have the following types of people in class with you. No exceptions.

The Suit.

This guy is always dressed up. You can’t help but wonder how he finds the time to iron all his suits every day. As a bonus, he acts like he dresses: put-together. You rarely see him out, but when he is, he’s on a strict drink limit. You will never see a Suit drunk or otherwise making a fool of himself. But for what he brings in composure, he lacks in chill. Uptight and haughty, Suits have it together, but they’re buttoned up a little too tight.

Where do they sit? Aisle seat, a few rows from the front.

The Gunner.

It’s not a complete list without recognizing the Gunner. You can usually spot one on the first day because Gunners point themselves out for you. Their zealousness is only outmatched by their infamy. At first, it might seem like they’re the smartest person in the room, but that façade quickly fades when you realize they just like to hear themselves talk. So your professor is already behind on the syllabus? No problem, count on the Gunner to pose unrelated hypotheticals and prevent any possibility of catching up.

Where do they sit? Front row, dead center.

The Unassuming Genius.

This person will never volunteer, but if called on, they crush every question. They don’t talk about their grades with anyone, which is a good thing, because hearing about it might shake your confidence a bit. UGs knows exactly why they came to law school, so they are pretty damn efficient with their time. They might not talk much, but when they do, listen up. They know more than you.

Where do they sit? Back of the room, in the cuts.

The Stressed Out Wreck.

This person takes a final and then checks to see if grades were posted every hour of every day. Then, when the grades are actually posted, she will be the first to ask you how you did. I can’t decide if SOWs are best to avoid or to keep close. On one hand, stress is contagious, and no one wants that. But on the flip side, they are a walking, talking, Google Calendar, so you won’t miss any deadlines if they’re around.

Where do they sit? Close to the door, easy exit.

The Myth.

This person is a ghost. You see them twice a semester: first day of class and the day of the final. Most people assume he dropped out, but you never know until exam day. Does he think the professor won’t notice his absences? Maybe, but I do know that I love having Myths in my classes. One less person you have to compete against. Law school isn’t undergrad. You won’t do well unless you’re actually in class. Call me old-fashioned, but I wouldn’t pay $50,000 a year to miss a lecture.

Where do they sit? ...N/A...

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