Eagle Rants Editor went to a concert, so Eagle Rants this week are being posted from Relay for Life in Bender Arena by Guest Eagle Rants Editor. Sorry for the delay. Relaying too hard. Also, system was overloaded with too many Rants, so some rants posted between 6 p.m.-ish and 11 p.m.-ish will not be posted. Sorry.
•It's a bird!!!!! IT WALKED ON MY PILLOW!
•"If you're trying to say I play favorites, you're wrong." *earlier that day* "I don't care for Gob."
•WHERE THE F*** ARE MY HARDBOILED EGGS?!?!? *slams fridge door*
•@"Is there a way to keep my iPhone on but have the phone part turned off so that incoming calls go straight to voicemail?" It's called the Do Not Disturb feature in Settings.
•"Greek life is not a large part of campus"- every AU tour guide. LIES. It feels like practically everyone at AU is either in greek life or is going to a greek party. WHY is there nothing else to do at AU on the weekends besides go to frats?
•@"Dear freshman biddies on the shuttle: please stop shrieking about how much alcohol you have in your purse. We still don't think you're cool. Sincerely, everyone over the age of 14." Oh! My! God! You like Grey Goose? I like Grey Goose. We're, like, soooo connected on a wavewidth. Alcohol and boys, penis. penis. penis. like i'm gonna get f'ed up tonight gurl. Ya hurd! Club penis, boys, Grey Goose, tattoos muscle. Die a slow death.
•@"Are the two rants about nerds/computer geeks from the same person, or is there like a high demand for that?" Yeah agreed. Because if so, I'm enough of a CS nerd that I should get flocked.
•what is dpe? [Editor's Note: Delta Pi Epsilon. It's a professional foreign service fraternity.]
•I have never ranted before, but would like to express my frustration about the blatant lack of campus community at AU. I choose AU because of the inclusive campus I saw when visiting. No one seems to care about the student body as a unit. Everyone is in their own world. Am I wrong for trying to connect with people on the common ground of being AU students? #nofriends #gonnatransfer
•I don't know if I should be content or depressed that after not ever having a girlfriend ever, I've realized I'm just going to live a life with no kids. Friends yes. But not a lover. Now that I read this, it is quite sad... but maybe the prozac will make it go away...
•To whoever posted all the Arrested Development rants yesterday: You are wonderful, and I cannot wait until May 26th!
•@He has girlfriend but he's cheated in her. There's hope for you!-- Uhm, I'm a tall ginger and I've never cheated on any girlfriend. . .
•@Guess infanticide is now an appropriate topic for Eagle Rants now-- Pretty sure the person who asked what the best time in college is to get an abortion was trolling. . . And everyone responding to her was too.
•@having to deal with temperature of a sona in the dorms-- I think you meant sauna?
•How do you gently tell someone who likes you that you don't like them in large part because they dress like a whore?
•Ohmygod ohmygoddddddd ohhhhmyyyygodddd! Ohhh my goddd! Ohhhh myyyy god! . . . It's finally Saturday!
•I just want to have wild, passionate sex with her.
•I don't often complain about things, but after living next to the McKinley Hall construction all year long, I'm a little upset that I was never informed that they would be building almost every day early in the morning.
•Four South. That is all.
•@wrestler: from Oklahoma?
•What a let down.
•I saw Jurassic Park in 3D last week and haven't stopped whistling/singing the theme since. #SorryNotSorry
•Ever since I had that sex dream about you, I can't stop picturing you naked. It's awkward
•No party after acapalooza? laaaame.
•There's always money in the banana stand
•I like how new Tolstoy was stolen within less than 24 hours of being installed. [Editor's Note: Source on the scene tells me it was moved to the library, but news team is working to confirm.]
•Oh my God, Karen. You can't just go around asking people why they're not floating on their beard anymore.
•I fantasize about getting married and pregnant on a regular basis, but I never admit it to anyone for fear I will be seen as un-feminist." What's unfeminist is the idea that certain sexual fantasies are wrong for a woman to have and that she doesn't have the right to want what she wants. Committed relationship, casual flings, celibacy, just stop giving women sh*t about these things!
•I like pregnancy porn too! My favorite pornhub video is the one with that girl Brooklyn.
