• i get abortions biweekly even if i don't need them. it's nice to have them scrape around in there every once in a while
• I am having a love affair with this ice cream sandwich.
• You lied to me! You said my father was my father but my UNCLE is my father! MY FATHER IS MY UNCLE!!!!!!!!
• I love you all, Marta!
• I'm afraid I prematurely shot my wad on what was supposed to be a bit of a dry run.
• Three secrets to happiness: Trusting yourself, loving the people around you, and great physical strength. All three are key.
• i threw your s**t into a bag and pushed it down the stairs...
• People who blast their headphones on the silent floor: did you miss the point of silent? Just because you think no one else can hear your music, it doesn't mean it's quiet. A little noise is ok, but a full on rave in the next cubicle over is not appreciated.
• I'm convinced that there are only 3 people on this campus who actually care about hall wars. True Story.
• @I keep seeing you around campus. You
