Editor's Note: Sorry for the delay. Dreadful traffic on the Beltway today as I was driving home.
•What do you think my brain is made for? Is it just a container for the mind?
•"Look away I don't want you and your rude self staring at my booty anyhow." wearing something that makes other people uncomfortable and then demanding that *they* make sure *you* don't pass in their line of sight is rather selfish.
•This bathroom smells like a sewer #SISproblems
•I wonder if anyone knows the original leggings ranter is a very liberal woman...
•A very liberal woman who just disapproves of really unfortunate fashion choices.
•@---You sound like you're high. . .--don't you be judging me and my shout outs you're just upset you don't have a fantASStic bf but it's okay I forgive you and your projection of drug use
•SANDRA FLUKE AT AU #PHENOMENAL
•Sandra Fluke was a fishy choice for speaking engagement. Hope she doesn't flounder. #Terrific #KONY2013 #CoolKid
•It's only 10:30 and I'm so ready for bed. What's happened to me?
•How did everyone find out my band "Hard Chicken" was playing in TDR? In Canada, we're known as "Erect Moose."
•Why does someone have to be high to appreciate their boyfriend?
•The "u" is ******* can't say the name because censorship laws and big government
•SAY WHAT ONE MORE TIME [Editor's Note: What?]
•eagle rantz editor hear my plea hear my prayer i need to be absolved of my sins i poke holes in condoms and give handjobs on the metro and i steal loaves of bread from tdr and i spit in the potato salad and i leave hair in the shower drain and i steal alcohol from parties and i tell drunk people wrong directions intentionally and i put bleach in washing machines at the laundry mat and i wear blue eyeshadow please please absolve me of these sins, lurve, your disciple the sinner at large [Editor's Note: I am but a lowly web producer. Only you can absolve yourself of your sins when you are truly repentant and make peace with those you've harmed. Be well, my son/daughter.]
•Got a really good job this week. Broke up with long term girlfriend this week. C'mon world, why do you have to rain on every parade?
•I feel like my best friend has stolen my love of music and singing away from me.
•@Yesterday was Tuesday...but today is Tuesday too!!!!!!! -- "You should try New Mexico, I hear he's on a tortilla." / "No, he's not on any flatbread."
•snapple bottle dildos? yeah great idea thx
•@my immortal - haha, you're very welcome! I was introducing it to some people in my lounge the other night; everyone has to read that at least once, right?
•I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT.... BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!
•Now it's your turn to buy me lunch just so you know :)
•Thanks for playing the Pulp Fiction Quote Game! That's all for this week folks. Enjoy your break and we'll see you next time!
•If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands! If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!! If you're happy and you know it and you really want to show it, if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!!! [Editor's Note: *clap clap*]
•"•I don't understand why you're still lying to me, but I don't care anymore." That's sad. Try to care. Apathy is the worst thing that a person can feel in this world, worse than hate and worse than grief because there is no way to channel apathy. Don't mistake emotional exhaustion for not caring. Take a time out if you need to but don't leave the game.
•Guy with snoring roommate here: @HasEarplugs, thanks. But doesn't that interfere with actually getting up in the mornings?
•@Person Who Prefers Tests Be Done On "A Mice" Than Humans: Me too but I think you meant either "a mouse" or "mice".
•@I wonder if he still thinks about me: He's a guy. Of course he does. If he ever told you he loved you or you told him that, yes he still thinks about you. Now stop ranting and if you think about him (clearly you do since you wrote this rant), go talk to him.
•@Wants a lurid afffair with a professor: No you don't trust me. Someone ranted about bad coffee breath and tacks in the butt. It's all true. Plus either bad teeth or worse wrinkles.
•Boy...you're cute, smart, and funny--make your move! The flirting has lasted long enough. Actually, this is the 21st century, I'm going to make the first move!
•@"TEXAS SUX ERRY1 H8S IT WUZ THERE BUT TEEN PREGNANCY AND RICK PERRY" And that third thing. Ummm...I forgot. Oops.
•~*~*<<COFFEE>>*~*~
•Your voice is like the scraping of fingernails along a chalkboard. Please quiet yourself.
•beautiful dirty blonde girl working at the dav this morning. You are being checked by a man and a woman. xoxo
•It's pretty tough to write this last paper when there are so many Taylor Swift music videos on Youtube.
•I'm kind of pretty, and pretty da#n smart, I like romantic things like music and art, and as you know I have a gigantic heart! So whyyy don't I have a boyfriend, F#@\! It sucks to be me!
•spread your legs and arch your back go up and down and make it clap. #TWERKTWERKTWERK
•"A Feminazi is a hard core feminist," First of all, use the right "there" next time you'd like people to take you seriously. Second of all, any "feminist" who hates men is not a feminist--they're a female-supremacist. A feminist is fighting for equality for women, not complete supremacy. We hate the patriarchal society and those who support it. Not men. Men are great. Happy Women's Day everybody, and don't forget that not all women have vaginas.
•Good looks to the Crown Prince of India for smelling up A6S on the daily.
•"A Feminazi is a hard core feminist, whose harshness and brutishness is equal to that of a Nazi." hmm that's funny I didn't know men were the group being systematically raped, tortured, and abused because of their gender OH WAAAAAAAAAAAAAITTTTTTTT but f**k you though.
•The Tavern has chicken and waffles today! I now take back every bad thing I have ever said about the Tavern.
•Oh my gosh! A floating shopping list! [Editor's Note: "No! I'm a ghoooooost!"]
•wow everyone eagle ranting has lost it... thank goodness it's spring break
•The PRINT ONLY computers in the library are NOT for: checking your email, revising your essay, or skimming some readings right before class! They're for printing.
•I would bang my T/F astronomy professor.
•Found out the guy working in the perch was gay And then he friendzoned me.
•There's this guy on my floor that is, legitimately, the most annoying, anime Asian obsessed guy I've ever met. And the worst part is: he wears these stupid pajama pants with money on them and calls them his "money pants".
•Shoutout to the sexy bearded guy on anderson 3! You should come out of your room more often! ;)
•3 rants published! Yes! I dread the day my kids says "My father was very funny." Because that means I'm dead.
•Oh yeah, it's finally spring break!!
