Editor's Note: Too many angry "Why did you steal Tolstoy?" Rants, apparently. They caused Eagle Rants to crash again. We just updated the form, and it should fix this problem from occurring again.
•Editor...it's called "reminders" and it comes on the iphone set it to repeat daily, and use iphone settings to make it more noticeable as if u were getting a phone call.
•@Leggings are not pants. Seriously, no one wants to see your butt in that much detail. - YES. THANK YOU. LEGGINGS WILL NEVER BE PANTS.
•@•I think you were trying to flirt with me in class today. I'm not good at being able to tell that kind of stuff, though, so I'm not sure. But if you were, then I hope my response was good enough to be considered a flirtback.. because you're really cute. And nice. So if you do it again I'll do better. -what class?' all I'll say is that it's 11:45-1:00 TF"
•@other woman: I'm gonna just be the opposing opinion right now and tell you that you're not terrible and to do what you want to do. The dude's cheating, not you. Yes, you are the "other woman". But you don't have to think that's a bad thing if you don't want to!!!
•Shut up Doug.
•If you're white and your relationship story begins with "I met him when he drunk texted me one night and I didn't know who he was, but I HAD to meet him," you're the person who dies first in horror movies.
•@" Typical Kogad."
•FAVORITE KOGOD'S: KoGOD in art thou in heaven, Kogadfly, Kogund, Kony, Konads, Khloe Kogodashian, Dekimgod Kotumbo, Ko Ko Kaget GOD, I'm Koo Koo for Kogod, Are you there God? It's me Ko, Ko and God sitting in a tree H-I-D-I-N-G F-R-O-M N-A-Z-I-S.
•@As a wiccan, and a very angry one at that, as well as a practitioner of voodoo As a normal human being, I can't stop laughing. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I WICCAN'T STOP LAUGHING!!! I MIGHT VOODOO-DOO IN MY PANTS...oops wait I just did. Anyway, I still can stop laughing.
••@Boy, we could be fooling around, but nope, you're chatting about with your friends: Details as to who you're talking about? -my boyfriend, actually
• "I want to get laid." - Eggs
•@Dear lonely girl with no friends: ME TOO. CAN WE BE BEST FRIENDS? But actually, I'm completely serious.
•Shoutout to the hot guys who use/run the photo lab aw yiss
•@kogod marketing day: you do realize marketing firms aren't on Wall Street right? That's finance. Also, they didn't let you in becuase you weren't appropriately dressed, not because they were being pretentious. If you think wearing a jacket and a shirt without a tie is "business professional" enough for you, in reality it's not. You can go back to SOC or SIS or whatever now.
•The shuttle driver who talks to himself while he drives is my favorite one! I ride the shuttle multiple times a day, so I've kind of gotten to know him. He's really nice.
•@ "kiss me" -No one will ever change you back from a frog with those generalities! Who is it you're hoping for a kiss from?
•Still waiting for you to grow up and have a conversation about what happened but I guess for you ignorance is bliss.
•@•@•I think you were trying to flirt with me in class today. Yeah, what class?!?! ;)
•I was friends with my roommate, but at this point in the year, I could honestly strangle him.
•ORANGE MOCHA FRAPPUCINOS!!!!
•@"Not too long ago I ranted something along the lines of "I THOUGHT I COULD TRUST YOU". But I guess I didn't learn very much because here we are again." Right, because posting an Eagle Rant is the best way to have an important relationship conversation.
•@"Is there a reason people just sit around and snuffle and snort instead of blowing their noses?? it's so disgusting!" ^^^^This.
•@I'm looking to acquire some fetishes. Suggestions welcome. - Heres one thatll really get you going: Nicholas Cage. Have the dude wear a Nic Cage mask, and at key points yell out some of his best quotes. Such as "Im going to steal the Declaration of Independence!" Trust me. It's so hot
•TOLSTOY! WE WILL AVENGE YOU!
•We have taken your precious Tolstoy head! Where is your god now Babylon?!? (But in all seriousness, I did not take that head)
•@who is james dean - oh god just shoot me now
•LEAVE TOLSTOY ALONE!!
•@"So the guy at the Kogod marketing fair wouldn't let me in because even though I got dressed up but didn't wear a tie. Fine you pretentious jerks, enjoy your Wall Street jobs sitting in front of computer screens the rest of your life." As a West Coaster, I feel your pain. The dress shirt + jacket combination (even jeans) IS business attire, goddamnit!
•To arms brothers and sister! We must seek out those traitorous filths who have absconded with our beloved Tolstoy's head! Avenge our beloved Tolstoy!
•Bad Wolf.
•Look, it's fine that you're talking to your friend in a different language. That's awesome, actually. The issue here is that you're sitting right next to me and yelling in my ear. It's obnoxious. Please stop. Kthxbai
•Why yes subconscious, please remind me of all the places and things I did with the guy who BROKE UP WITH ME LAST WEEK. Really puts the cherry on my Friday.
•Seriously RHA? Seriously? The signs in the bathroom are just too much. "its not fair to clean up someone elses hair?" Are you kidding me? If I was getting paid to clean a bathroom, I wouldn't have a problem cleaning up hair out of a shower. It isn't like people are taking a s*** on the bathroom floor. I get respecting the workers, but this is ridiculous. It is their job, let them do it.
•THE STREETS WILL FLOW RED WITH THE BLOOD OF THE VERMIN WHO STOLE OUR BELOVED TOLSTOY!
