• "Please please please females, DO NOT TAN. The whiter the skin the sexier. No one wants to date an orange chick." I don't care what you think. I like my summer tan.
• anyone who calls women "females" creeps me out. also stop trying to police how women look. christ.
• @ "@what can I do if I like a girl but she has a bf? Listen dude, speaking from experience..." This person speaking from experience is correct. Also, if you are friends with her, and she starts avoiding you/ignoring you, it might be because she finally figured out you have a huge crush on her and she is frustrated because she just wants to enjoy your friendship.
• I'm going to buy more coca-cola to protest the people who vandalized the coca-cola machines.
• Thank you to the guy who got me the paper towels when I made a fool out of myself earlier. I didn't get the chance to say thanks.
• The awkward moment when someone who does not watch It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia thinks you're a perv... "You got to pay the troll toll, if you want to get into this boy's hole, you got to pay the troll toll to get in. You want this baby's boy hole..."
• I occasionally see this hot chick drunk stumble into the berks with her blond bf she is way too fine for. Girl, (ex)wrestlers =/= worthy
• Being abroad has turned me into a total slut. I love this.
• How do you tell your friend who writes for the Eagle that their writing sucks?
• What would happen if there was one baby called America, another called Canada, and they get switched at birth, so Canada lives in America and America lives in Canada?
• "The Eagle reserves the right to edit all Eagle Rants for AP Style" I like cheese, apples, and crackers. [Editor’s Note: I reserve the right, but I abstain. I happen to love the Oxford comma.]
• I kind of think I like you? This is a weird thing for me. Especially since you are an oblivious git.
• once a cheater always a cheater
• I don't just want to make love, I want to make love last 'I like being black.' 'That’s nice, I like being white' 'Racist!' "I like being both!" "F--k off!" Fixed that for you
• @ jj abrams/star trek ranter: calm yo tits.
• a slut:someone of either gender who gives it away very easily
• I've hooked up with three guys with the same name this semester already, I have a problem.
• Superbowl power outage? I feel no pity 'cause it ain't Gotham City.
• is it seriously so challenging to post the stupid rants? [Editor’s Note: No :/ ]
• I just want someone who wants to hang out all the time, and thinks I'm the best person in the world, and wants to have sex with only me. *shrugs*
• No Feb 2 posts?
• OH EAGLE RANTS, where are you?
• rants?
• My mom just posted "Loving the tight black pants. Go Ravens!" I think I'm going to need to visit the counseling center
• I was just woken up by a nightmare about valentines day. It terrifies me a little that i'm so scared by a holiday i used to enjoy. It can't be that bad to be single on Valentines day, can it?
• hello? rants anyone? anyone? Buler? Buler? Editor, this is ridiculous...can't you be consistent?
• Is it just me or is this school sort of insane?
• People are going to be ballistic when the editor finally posts the rants. If I don't do MY job, I get fired.
• omfg my roommate is sick and my tolerance for the human body is quickly dwindling.
• Can AU like put on a concert or something?! does everything have to be political?! There is nothing to do on this campus but debate and watch sports...
• Is there a polite way to tell people that you don't want to hug them? I really, really hate giving hugs to most people (I'm really only comfortable hugging my immediate family + like five close friends total) but I don't know how to refuse them a. without being super awkward or b. without offending them.
• to the girl sitting next to me in the library. please stop staring at me. its really freaky and no im not into you
• @@To the girl whose friends boyfriend keeps hinting at sex and you said “what’s a girl to do?” Clearly you should have dirty gape sex with some vagussey juice because your girlfriend is probably some dum-dum who kills baby ferrets in her spare time. You already sound attached to Mr. FRAT MAN SIX PARK so you should totally ride his hard salami because if you don’t you might lose self-control later and do it on one of these mussed up pandas. YOU HAVE NO SELF CONTROL. This. Is. A. Robot. Response. ...lol I've never been so confused before.? • Someone told me that eagle rants were funny...she lied.
• When did eagle rants start?
• Eagle Rants Editor on strike?
• yo people are already lined up for founder's day.....GET A LIFE
• HEY AUSG...I DON'T HAVE 2 AND A HALF HOURS OF FREE TIME TO SPEND IN LINE FOR FOUNDER'S DAY TICKETS
• SIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH PEOPLE IN LINE FOR FOUNDER'S DAY TICKETS 2 AND A HALF HOURS IN ADVANCE
• Founder's Day....more like AUSG FLOUNDERS!!!!! Day. That doesn't even make sense.
• i'm not even mad at AUSG i'm vaguely annoyed/insanely jealous at/of the people who have time to just sit for hours to get founder's day tickets
• just in case you're wondering, i'm doing fine, great actually. don't worry about me, i'm great without you.
• Okay people, serious question here: How do I get a boyfriend? I've been told I'm cute (lol, never sexy or hot), smart, and nice. Aren't those qualities guys look for in girlfriends? What am I missing?? I'm 20 and have never gone on a date or had a boyfriend!! So my rant is finally over, please give some advise or carry on!
• FALL OUT BOY IS BACK TOGETHER I THINK MY LIFE IS MADE #marrymepetewentz #noshame