• Work it, don't hurt it
• I'm starting to think the girl I have a crush on, I'm not the only one and this may soon blow up into a whole "There's something about Mary" situation but if that's the case....bring it on
• " woah woah woah wait…when did this sex columnist thing happen? how come no one knew about it? was there even an application process? I doubt anyone at the eagle has enough sex to actually write articles about it.." definitely true
• Dear girl wearing a blue vest and riding the shuttle towards campus at about 2:20 on the 29th, you are pretty cute. Then you smiled and I saw you were carrying a copy of Street Sense, and I fell in love with you.
• My night was made when Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy came on after Edward Scissorhands. On a side note, my productivity level over the past few hours has hit rock bottom.
• It's cheating when you do something you wouldn't want him to know about.
• Going to a party and fucking two randos there will NOT get you over a guy. If anything it'll make you miss and want him more.
• How young is too young to make a page on a dating website?
• How can you have a love column and not have him named Long Dong, Dick Havoc, or Mrs./Mr. Vagussey. It just seems wrong. PLEASE GOD KILL ME!
• "Hey, Gays!" - Common Boy Scout Greeting Spelling Mistake
• @" I doubt anyone at the eagle has enough sex to actually write articles about it." As a member of The Eagle, I'll have you know I am a master lover of the female race. You just touch the diddlybong, squeeze the whachamacallits, press your fingers on the biddlyboops and lick the whodunits too. Actually, I've never seen a real woman in my life.
• I don't think a song has ever captured my feelings more than I Will Possess Your Heart
• I'm so happy that I can go to the Dav and have Zambian Tree Root Vegan Gluten Free Squirrel's Butthole Blend for the same price as Chocolate Hamburger Farts and Chestnuts with Frankincense Notes drip coffee. The Dav: Low prices for your college coffee needs.
• @"The way I see it okcupid>plenty of fish>chemistry.com>eharmony Other opinions?" mingle2 is the best because it was created by The Oatmeal.
• The Editor should be thanking me. Now s/he can just use "too much spam" as an excuse whenever s/he doesn't feel like posting Eagle Rants.
• I know the Dav cold brews its iced coffee and as far as I'm aware dumps all of its left over coffee in the canteens when they close... but good to know that sometimes I'm getting left over coffee when I order it at other places.
• @nope. Not gonna tell you. If she likes me, she can make the move. What if she thinks you're going to do the same thing and nothing happens? Give a hint about her!
• @'At what point is it called “cheating on your boyfriend”?' As soon as you do something with someone else that you wouldn't want your boyfriend to know about
• To the Jersey girl in my early block class: when you chew gum, you look like a cow chewing cud. It is SO DISTRACTING. Please, please, please throw the gum out before class or at least try to chew with your mouth closed!
• What will AU put in the tunnel??? I'm getting so tired of Tavern, Salsa, Megabytes, and Subway.....
• Are any of you on "banging with friends" yet?
• The same people who enjoy posting mundane complaints to eagle rants are surprised that somebody would gain even more enjoyment from spamming their forum? HAHAHAAH. I'm sorry for the editor's troubles but I'm loving this troll.
• Beautiful Egyptian girl from Letts >
• The library should have free cookies available upon request. Thoughts?
