• @"You are a moron." I will take a dump on your face. Then I will kiss you because your mom said "If you have nothing good to say then take a dump on their face then kiss your enemy and the matter will be settled." #Trustory #Blessed #YOLO
• @"Dude I legitimately lol'd....Wit. I like it. Can the funny people be more outgoing? We'd all benefit." Jason Aldean is rapping on my television right now, but I wrote that and many other classic rants which I'm compiling into a book called "Don't Put That Thing Where I Think You're Planning on Putting It." Ryan Seacrest looks despondent not having frosted tips anymore. Wait, what? Anyway, nice to know my bits of humor are appreciated. Happy New Year!
• I got my first kiss on the first day of 2013. Happy New Year's indeed!
• My resolution for 2013 is to not end 2013 the in the same state I went into it—desperately single. It was also my resolution for 2012 and 2011...maybe this year will be different.
• HAHAHAHA to the caucasian club playing croquet and eating egg salad
• I'm pretty sure I've spent at least an hour with my boyfriend almost every single day of break. Going back to long distance while we're both at school is going to be tough :/
• that awkward moment when you're Whitney Port's biggest fan
• still love period poops.
• I've only been abroad 1 day and I hate it here already.
• My brother is making a way stronger push to get sober after Sunday's episode, but withdrawal has been brutal. Every single minute he needs help not to use. I am 100% happy to be able to be here and help, but being on duty 24/7 has just been draining. Couldn't do this without the people who have helped hold me up from afar.
• Reddit is filled with racists and pedophiles. Read /r/circlebroke or SRS.
• I've put some thought into my new year's resolutions. I want to, mainly, stop hating myself so much. I'm awesome and cooler than I think i am and I've got to stop focusing on the negative and think good thoughts about myself, right? Gotta stop giving a crap about what society and people and all that think about me 'cause I'm already 20 and I don't think I've actually started living for myself yet. I can do this.
• @why does it mean if you enjoy high school more than college: it means you peaked in high school an it's all down hill from there
• How many messages a day on okcupid is a good amount?
• Eagle rants needs upvotes/downvotes. Although I think I'd downvote nearly everything here.
• I miss her so much; the loneliness without her is too great. The winter nights too dark.
• We don't need no damn Caucasian Club, we just need the minority agitprop people to shut up and go away.
• I'm so lonely I buy chocolates that say nice things to me inside the wrapper so that I feel like someone cares.
• @ "An alumni just told me that AU used to be a party school..." The alumnus/alumna you mentioned probably attended AU many years. AU has been going experiences rapid changes lately. I bet the alum you mentioned would be shocked that current AU students can't properly differentiate between alumnus/na and alumni.
• “And in comes some guy with a triple play Mean Girls eagle rant, looks like that'll get him some pretty good recognition, don't you think so Pat?" "Absolutely John the resubmitting funny lines from popular movies is a good tactic for popularity if done right, this person certainly seems to know how to control their internet karma flow"
• Oh lord do attractive girls go for nerdy guys or are we merely kidding ourselves? (bonus points to whoever gets the movie reference)
• I hate being in the house where my parents live. I want to be home in DC.
• I honestly don't care about what Azealia said. She is still queen and her music is still basically gay anthem lesbihonest.
• Despite staying sober, my brother has sharply spiraled downwards in terms of mental health over the past few days. He's having severe anxiety and hallucinations, thinking he has a time machine and being afraid that the nurses are corpses. Addiction used to be his only problem, but that's small time in comparison. I used to think he was the strongest man in the world, and it’s terrible to see him reduced to this. Those of you who fought with your family over vacation, please don’t waste your time with them while you still have it. Love you bro.
• After three whole wonderful weeks of seeing my boyfriend almost every single day, I now have to go back to the normalcy that is our long distance relationship.
• @what would your activities be? playing croquet and eating egg salad sandwiches with the young republicans? or is that…RACIST!?!111. Wel, what does the Black Student Alliance do? Drink grape soda, conplain ablut qhite people, and eat chicken wings with young liberal democrats, or is that RACIST?
• Why does everybody at AU feel that only white people are racist? Are you deaf to every black person who complains about 'white privilege'? Just because an institution of racism existed 50 years ago, doesn't mean everybody is racist today- give us a break with this privilege crap already....
• wow ...reading all of these again made me realize how much better life is after college. don't worry everyone, it gets wayyyy better
• Being white is top notch. Really, there are about zero drawbacks to it.
• Bleeeeeaaaaaaaaaarrrggghhh.
• Thats fine dont post eagle rants when you're supposed. It's not like it isn't your job or anything...
• Editor...you are slacking on the rants! Each Monday you said you would post it up...it's Tuesday and rants from last week are still up.... :( [Editor’s Note: I sincerely apologize to both you and the significantly angrier/snarkier person above you]
